UG's Biggest Idiot
Join date: Aug 2008
874 IQ
Its incredibly complicated, but it sounds like crap. And i think it can be classified as I wish i was frank zappa, but i clearly am not.

Edit: It's also completely random and the least cohesive thing I've heard in a long time.
Last edited by Dio10101 at Sep 18, 2010,
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,131 IQ
Quote by Dio10101
Its incredibly complicated, but it sounds like crap. And i think it can be classified as I wish i was frank zappa, but i clearly am not.

Edit: It's also completely random and the least cohesive thing I've heard in a long time.

that's kind of harsh, but somewhat accurate. interesting though.
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Registered User
Join date: Aug 2010
238 IQ
I'm not gonna comment on the rest of it, but get rid of that diminshed pattern. Whether it's Necrophagist and their ilk, or a million deathcore bands trying to make the jump to full death metal, that pattern has been used and abused to death. I can't really say much about the rest; I think it's noise, but I can see how the person who wrote it would love it.
Join date: Mar 2009
730 IQ
Sounded like something I used to write where I used to press random buttons.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
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Join date: Mar 2008
1,065 IQ
It seems like you're trying to hard to write prog stuff, you need to find your own style and stop trying to sound like something else.
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Oracle of the Absurd
Join date: Aug 2008
2,037 IQ
I'm sorry how does this sound like anything else?

Other than the Frank Zappa comment which might hit the mark closest this doesn't sound like typical run of the mill prog.

Nah the issue I have with this isn't the style or the direction it's that some riffs don't fit properly.

As much as many might call this random drivel or technical crap I don't see it that way, I see the vision underneath you're trying to put out but unfortunately there are a few sections which cut off the flow or lack flair or interest, breaking the feeling of the song.

Parts I see as flawed -

Bar 19- really sounds gay, change the tonality or mood it gives off man.

31 - Instead of repeating the same bar for 4 measures put some flair to it, don't make it a constant scale run, add some color to it.

Bar 42 - Could be better man as a transition and the actual tone of the instrument

EVerything after 51 - kind of lost its focus, not sure about that.

Really there are some parts though, like the section 9 to 14, that's what I consider genius in this genre, try to accentuate more stuff like that into your piece.

Interesting stuff, don't listen to these people and ditch the vision entirely, just refine it and make it better, I see what you're trying to do here
The hopeless ProgHead
Join date: Jul 2010
32 IQ
I also agree with the previous commentator.

I DO see the vision you have and what you are trying to do exactly! However... it loses direction for the listener.

What you need is elements to really tie it together, anyone can write whatever crazy arpeggios they like behind a computer, but what you need is a mathematical formula, melody or a certain rhythmic pattern that would really tie the thing together.

I don't actually dislike this piece, but it's very flawed. I LOVE the idea that you have with it. Especially when you bring in all these different sorts of instruments - and there is ONE extremely random break that actually works as well - namely bar 44. That is a really nice change of mood there. But the whole... doesn't work.

Perhaps in the beginning you should stick with the riff you had going in bar 3 for a bit longer. Ditch the pointless showing off there - add bass and drums and then resolve it - as you did - to the lovely augmented chord you had there.

From bar 15 I am not a fan of what follows. It simply isn't coherent. Though some of the piano is nice and would actually work as such an interlude that you have there.

Bar 39 onwards is completely random however. Though I like what you did there.

And the ending kind of loses all coherence as well.

However... this kind of stream-of consciousness style COULD work, but even in our minds, certain thoughts follow another, simply because they do. It's a "stream" after all. Since you didn't make it absolutely 100% random, you need to insert some logic into it.
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