#1
Hey everyone. Would be awesome to get some opinions on the songs in my profile, particularily the most recent ones ("Eyes Wide Shut" and "Before I Close My Eyes")

C4C, naturally

Links to the songs
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Nashag/music/all/play883372
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Nashag/music/all/play851547
Last edited by Nashag at Sep 20, 2010,
#2
I'm listening to "Eyes Wide Shut" right now. I really like how it builds throughout the whole piece, but it feels a little "back and forth". I would have it keep building until the end, which would be a total rockout.

I like the melodic solo and how it goes back in somewhat like it began. Catchy chorus, if the pocket were a little more sure of itself it would be a stellar track.

Great work, brother! I don't have time to check out the other.
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#3
Nashag,
Now listening to 'Eyes Wide Shut': I like the strings, guitars. Vocals are OK, but you "popped" the mic several times. A pop guard could help. I turn my head to the side a bit on 'P' & 'B' words. The song writing is good. 'Before I Close My Eyes': song writing is good, the singing is so-so. The keyboards are good. If it were me, I would add delay to the lead guitar. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356300
#4
Generally speaking, not too fond of the vocals.
The arrangements do not serve the harmonic and melodic simplicity well.
The guitar playing is not my cup of tea either.
Otherwise, the songs are well thought.
To sum it up, I would say that it lacks in execution.
#5
Hey dude thanks for the crit on my song. Just listening to eyes wide shut. It's sounds good and the guitars are really well done. Overall the production and song writing are very good. I have to say it's not really my style though, a little too pop maybe for my tastes.

Good luck and peace

CyberSlunk
#6
I really, really liked Eyes Wide Shut. I listened to it yesterday, but didn't have a chance to review it, and I had chorus part stuck in my head all day. I didn't really like the distortion guitar tones you had, I feel like they were tinny and a lot lower quality than the rest of the song. The acoustics sounded great! With some higher quality drums this would be an excellent song, in my opinion. Keep it up!

Before I Close My Eyes: Not crazy about the harmonized vocals toward the beginning, sounds a bit off and the vocals seem to get too loud during "before the storm subsides" part. I like the harmonies and vocal effect at 2:15ish way better than at the start. The guitar lines complement your singing well during the verses. Solo isn't too great, didn't much feeling from it. Over all this song isn't bad, I just feel it's lacking compared to Eyes Wide Shut and the chorus needs some work.

I really like your acoustic sound with the added keyboard, and hope to hear more in the future. Keep it up!
Let's party.
#7
I listened to Eyes Wide Shut, man. Sounds brilliant. Loved the change at 19 seconds, the song takes a great spin and holds the steady groove threw on. The drums maybe need a little work, as they didn't seem to fit in parts. Other than that the recording was nice. I enjoyed it.
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#8
Thanks for the crit on mine!

I listened to both of yours, and I liked Before I Close My Eyes the best out of the two. The beginning with the panning was pretty awesome, and the way it launched into that instrumental bit was good. Your voice suits it very well. I get a Snow Patrol vibe from it, which is good in my opinion. I'm gonna disagree with the other guys and say the vocal harmonies were cool. The piano part was excellent, a nice addition. However, I didn't like the second line in the piano section... "I'm just a little behind" or something... it didn't rhyme, and to me it felt like it should have. Kind of awkward for me to listen to. Left me feeling a little unsatisfied. The only part I didn't like in the chorus was the part where the vocal melody sang "before I close my eyes." Once again, it just felt awkward. I liked the vocal melody aspect of that part, but I think it didn't blend too well with the instrumental part of it. The solo was nice, but totally outshined by the piano/vocal outro section right after it. Great way to end the song in my opinion. Overall, good song!
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#9
Eyes wide shut is a pretty strong song. very clean vocals, catchy hook. if anything perhaps the electric guitar tone sounds a bit dry, but I guess that's what you were going for so it's all okay, good job.
#10
mmm!! eyes wide shut!!! awesome! sounds like Pink Floyd... ahh yeah specially the cellos stuff.... i didnt like much the drums.. too dry for the mellow stuff.. ah the small distortion interlude.. sounded just fine with the drums... but i still think the drums (bass specially and may be) are too dry! oh and i guess the harmonized part.. it was a bit errmm second guitar bossted teh whole guitar sound.. which was too loud.. may be lower the voice at that moment??

overall nice piece out there!!! im totally loving acoustic guitar sound!!!
#11
I'm listening to Eyes Wide Shut.

I like the melodies and how the song progresses.
But I think the song should build up as it goes on, and the singer should try getting a little more intense ; Sound like they mean what they're saying.

I like the acoustic ending. could be pretty good.
Oh, you DO want a free demo?
#12
nice one for the comment on my thread really do like eyes wide shut! i'm a big fan of strings in acoustic music, diggin' them a lot, also the harmonies in the voice are nice
one thing i would say that would be great would be if it build up fully from start to finish and at the end had a massive rockout rather than little bits of 4 second rock out throughout, but generally sweet melodies harmonies and composition
#13
Listening to Eyes Wide Shut:

At first it reminds me of DCFC. I like the violin/string sounds and the keyboard sounds, they really compliment it imo. The mix is done quite well. I get the vibe that you didn't autotune the vocals, which I admire because they're still mostly spot on. I'm slightly thrown off when the first distorted guitar part comes in, just because I feel like it should be louder (just a touch). Like the guitar solo a lot, but I can't help but wonder if lighter distortion would compliment it a little more. The drums throughout the song sound believable, not contrived which I admire. The overall arrangement is successful, and I could totally hear this being played at the end of Scrubs or that other hospital show that's more serious than Scrubs. The lyrics are good too.

I like it a lot, but I have to ding you one point only because of that distorted guitar part. You get a 9.5/10. Good work man.


Before I Close My Eyes:

The start reminds me of Radiohead fused with Muse (this is a compliment). I like the verse, but I'm debatable about how I feel about the drums. They don't take away too much, but I can't be sure if it's what the song needs. You're vocals sound eversoslightly out of tune at the prechorus (reminds me of Modest Mouse). There was one part in the chorus ("Before I close my eyes") that sounds like the music skips and doesn't flow well. However, I love the hook of it. And the next verse is pretty nice, namely because of the effect. I like the guitar solo, but I feel like a little more delay would compliment it well. The breakdown at the end is beautiful, I like the harmony.

I liked both songs, but I preferred Before I Close My Eyes, only because of the hook. I give this one a 10.
#14
Before I Close My Eyes:

Liking the rhythm a lot! When the drums and guitar kicks in at 0:20 I was a bit dissapointed. The production is not that good. It doesn't "explode". The drums sounds weak and the distorted guitars sounded poo and lacked technically as well. Especially at 0:20 you need a lot more punch! Sound like you're too careful with your pick. I like the verse, but the pre-chorus and chorus also left me a bit dissapointed. Vocals are OK, but could've been a lot better. Intonation is off which is VERY noticable when you're harmonizing (the harmonizing itself is really good, but poorly executed).

Overall I think it has a lot of potential. Songwriting is good, and the arrangement is OK. Production however drags it down a lot. Good job nonetheless, keep it up! (:
C4C
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#15
Hey man, thanks for the crit. Sorry if mines a bit messy. Criting as I listen.

Listening to Eyes Wide Shut right now.
Intro, very soothing - sets up the whole song. The violin fits perfectly with the song. The guitar with the gain at about 1.10 comes out of nowhere abit though in my opinion. Also be careful not to overkill the 'eyes wide shut' line. Its cool but you use it abit too much maybe. Just imo. People are really harsh on vocals on here but i thought you did a good job. Abit of flare would be nice though. In the end - a great soothing song.

Before I colse my eyes -
Some of the synth doesn't really fit with the song too well at the beginning. When it comes in at about 0.22 that riff fits perfectly though. I like how you brought the vocals in, but backing yourself up during the 0.50 mark doesn't quite fit with me. The song could do with some more feeling in general but it sounds great in general.

Great work man.
#17
Listening to Eyes wide shut - nice lyrics like the intro and then the follow into the strummed acoustic.

The drums sound too midi to me, but thats the only thing I'd look to improving.

Good arranging theoughout

Great voice

Nice job

Dave
#18
Listening to Eyes wide shut - nice lyrics like the intro and then the follow into the strummed acoustic.

The drums sound too midi to me, but thats the only thing I'd look to improving.

Good arranging theoughout

Great voice and awesome solo, much better than most the over exciting crap I hear!

Nice job

Dave
#19
I like the guitar work on eyes wide shut, also what sounds kinda like a violin or something is really nice, great job on it, also really liked the flow of it
#20
As I listen...

Eyes Wide Shut: I like the flute, good way to start. Some plosives from the "p" sounds, though. I like the synth sounding things altogether, nice strings, the synths give good ambience. I also like the vocal melody. The distorted guitar sounds out of place and of low quality. I thought I heard more plosives, but maybe you're hitting the mic (since I didn't hear it on a "P")? Or is it on purpose? Again, the distorted tone could use more work. I also like the vocal melodies.

Before I Close My Eyes: The high hats sound awfully synthesized, but there's not much you can do about that. The distorted tone needs work in this song as well, it's too dry, brittle/harsh, and it's all very centered, which doesn't help, either. I like the vocal melodies. There's something I'm not really liking about the vocals, though. I think you should put more into it, it almost sounds as though you're bored (mostly just talking about the higher/louder parts). Maybe it's just me, though.

I liked the songs, though! Just work on that guitar tone. :P
#21
Hey mate, cheers for the crit!

Listening to "Eyes Wide Shut" as I type this. Beautiful intro clean riff, really catchy tune. Once the strumming begins, the acoustic guitar could do with some depth and reverb. Electric guitar also needs some punch I think. Drums are kicking in, sound great for what they are, programmed, I'm guessing? Solo is artful, suits the mood of the piece. Overall a very catchy tune, sounds sort of Pink Floyd-y, and very well written. You sir, have talent! I have a feeling it's gonna be stuck in my head for a while now =P.
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#22
You reviewed another one of mine and left a link, but I already reviewed both of yours!
So, thanks for the crit on both of mine!
Call me Michael...

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#23
I just listened to Eyes Wide shut. The song has a lot of potential. Though I would prefer that you sung it with more emotion. I am also curious of what it would sound like if you rocked it out and added a heavier feel starting in the middle. The song is good but you can make it better.