#1
This is my first poem in my upcoming series that is going to cover every common form of poety. This one being the ABC Poetry. And one thing that might sound interesting, I cannot say my alphabet forward. I can only say it backwards, so I had to use a dictionary to get the order right. Maybe someday I will post a ZYX Poem. Here goes the first of fifty-one...

Abrasions all form your face and
Blood fills the void within and
Cold, salty wet tears are
Dripping from your long sad face, you are
Enclosed from the world,
From this small cold
Gutter we all try to live in, with

Headstones lining the streets and
Indecision of where you are, because you have
Just been killed in the game of
Love where there was beautiful
Music playing all day long

Now we are both living in
Oblivion

Please help me
Quench this terrifying
Rapture

Some people can walk around, not
Thinking about the consiquence
Unleashing the hell of anguish, I will
Vanguard these pains that the
World tries to give

Xerxes has now come again, so will
You come again and be my
Zealous Queen
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I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
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Last edited by 24WildRovers at Sep 20, 2010,
#2
Quote by 24WildRovers
And one thing that might sound interesting, I cannot say my alphabet forward. I can only say it backwards, so I had to use a dictionary to get the order right.


lolwut
There's something living in these lines.
#3
^^Really if you were droping by to lol you could atleast have said whether you like it?

In the first para you repeat "cold" twice and in the second last para u repeat "pain" twice and i dont see what's the use of the repeats so maybe fix that?

I dont like this but that could be just me...
"Please come again and be my
Queen and we can start our
Recovery"

The ending was good although I dont know who the hell 'xerxes' is!

Overall i think it's pretty goodKeep writing!

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1363218
Last edited by BloodCold at Sep 20, 2010,
#4
Quote by BloodCold
^^Really if you were droping by to lol you could atleast have said whether you like it?

In the first para you repeat "cold" twice and in the second last para u repeat "pain" twice and i dont see what's the use of the repeats so maybe fix that?

I dont like this but that could be just me...
"Please come again and be my
Queen and we can start our
Recovery"

The ending was good although I dont know who the hell 'xerxes' is!

Overall i think it's pretty goodKeep writing!

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1363218
Xerxes was a Persion War-Lord that attacked greece and won I think.

But thank you very much for you advice, I will fix that right away
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
: