#1
True story
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God didnt actually abandon human beings til the 60s.
It wasnt the drugs, it wasnt the sex, it wasnt the decadance or the hippies.
It wasnt the years of self destruction we've perpetuated on our fellow man
It wasnt desecration of his master plans, or divisional lines we indelibly marked on his land

It was more to do with petty affronts to his almighty greatness. Things like microwave ovens. Turns out he was pretty proud of fire.
Thats why most of the world gets a daily treat of a sunrise burning the sky (God despises Scandanavians. They are detestable. Deuteronomy.)
And the message that despite fact that skies fire always burns away
We shouldnt be scared of darkness each night because inevitably it will return the very next day.

He only gave us the theory for the fire when we were mature enough to leave the trees
And far enough from the canopies to ensure we didnt burn to death in our sleep
And char all the other lesser monkeys that evolved concurrently with our own species.

While flames burned foodborne bacterial colonies down
And all the extra protein made our brains grow
We danced around on the newly scorched ground,
It was dinner and a show.
"Yeah, thats great god, but im off out in 20 minutes, and I really need that potato before i go"

That was the last straw, jack.

I heard talk that he'll be back in a few decades to leave paper bags of cancer on our doorsteps,
Then ring the doorbell and run away laughing at how ungrateful we've been.

But he wont bother setting them on fire.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#3
Great! I love the story, as well as the wordings, as wel as everything else in thsi poem.
It is a plausible explanation for global warming, climate change, and geografic differences between regions.
#4
As always with you, I enjoyed this read.

Here are two possible mistakes I found:


"And the message that despite (the) fact that skies fire always burns away"

"Yeah, thats great god, but im *off out* in 20 minutes, and I really need that potato before i go"

the "off out" seems like you were deciding which one to use and accidentally left both in.


I really like how you represented GOD here, for example you weaved together the opposing theories that GOD created man an evolution into one where you state

"He only gave us the theory for the fire when we were mature enough to leave the trees"

as in GOD created evolution thus creating man.

and in the beginning stating that the almighty GOD is faulty and cant control his emotions and would dam all humans because they dont appreciate his creation of fire over all the things we humans have done that are much more morally wrong (and i dont mean the drugs or the sex or anything you mentioned really)

eh im rambling... anyway it was a good read, not as hypnotizing a read as some of your others but maybe cause ive been down this road in my mind before.

anyway, cheers!

If you dont mind leaving a word or two
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25041313#post25041313
#7
I imagine you standing in front of me, smug look on your face, hands moving as you explain, eyebrows occasionally raised, just going....

its sexy and i like it, good read.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#8
thankyous.

have faith. He knows what he's doing. its just as believable as anything else.

and sexy is always good.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#10
I don't there's much I can say that hasn't already been said in the posts above me. Fantastic work.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER