defiance64
>:) Imma mad-smiley! Raha
Join date: Feb 2007
2,255 IQ
#1
The only transition that I forgot to work on is the transition from Track 1 to 2. Track 1, is an intro track.

Crit4Crit...

ALSO! The download that isn't "Remind Me..." is the older material to judge the difference in my writing in 2007, and my writing in 2010!
Attachments:
[2015] Remind Me...What's a Smile [GP5].zip
[2015] Remind Me...What's a Smile [MID].zip
old_1.zip
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
JesseBlanchard
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
626 IQ
#2
Alot of this reminds me of Chiodos. I think you should utilize the piano more. Not synth, synth is gay. Piano rules.

In general, what i didnt like about it was;

too many solo type leads
most songs were in the same key
too many solos, this isnt 1986. lulz.
not using enough piano and keys. everytime you did, it was better than most of the song.
alot of it very same sounding.
hit retry, didnt really translate well to gp. but thats not your fault. i can imagine it sounding really weird and awesome when recorded.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#3
Not saying any of it is badly written, it's all well thought out and well put together. It's just so damn generic in a very saturated genre which is on it's last knees. Metalcore will be dead in a few years so if you want to get any where I'd stopped writing this kind of music. But keeping written, because you have great writing talent, you're just writing in the wrong genre in my opinion. And basically everything Jesse said is true. I was getting raped by solos over a barrage of the same minor key. Major it up sometimes.

EDIT: Also in some places the drums seem like an afterthought. And just thought I'd mention the breakdown in the sky is black is epic.
And I like the return of the intro as the outro, ignoring that it was another super generic breakdown.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Sep 22, 2010,
defiance64
>:) Imma mad-smiley! Raha
Join date: Feb 2007
2,255 IQ
#4
Thanks for the critiques, even though they killed me inside... :"( jk. I appreciate honesty, and that's what I'm here for.

Anyway that album was my Metalcore material, the next material that I release will be from What Happened That Night, again. That's my like...Punkish Post Hardcorey stuff. It felt painful trying to write this stuff kinda in the first place. :\

What exactly do you mean by "Drums were like an afterthought?" because if you mean I didn't spend too much time being creative with them, you pretty much nailed it.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#5
Quote by defiance64
What exactly do you mean by "Drums were like an afterthought?" because if you mean I didn't spend too much time being creative with them, you pretty much nailed it.


Yeah that's exactly I meant haha, it's like you wrote then songs and then wrote the drums. The drums are part of the song, that deserve as much attention as any other part in my opinion otherwise you'll never create good music.

But yeah generic metalcore songs are generic metalcore songs, some people will like them because they like generic, other people will be left wanting more.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus