#1
Well I wrote this with a hardcore punk type of melody going on in my head, could use some pointers, criticism, etc. Haven't wrote too many songs but I'm trying.


"Time to Choose"

When money buys freedom
are we really free
from this corruption,
from this tyranny.
What will it take
to end all of this hate,
when everything we know is at stake.

Sit back and watch,
Sit back and wait,
doing nothing,
we decide their fate.

All of these murders being committed
as the guilty roam free.
When people like you,
and people like me
decide to sell some weed,
and are now serving years in the penitentiary.

Sit back and watch,
Sit back and wait,
doing nothing,
we decide their fate.

Would it be right
to take this into our own hands?
(I don't know)
Is this the time
to take a stand
(please help me understand)
against this injustice
or should we..

Sit back and watch,
Sit back and wait,
doing nothing,
we decide their fate.
#2
bump, sorry just trying to get some criticism so I can get better, i'll also try to critique yours thanks!!
#3
the part about the penetentiary is a little off rhythm, not sure how to reword it though.. but overall its good, and i like the message it has
#4
thanks man, yeah ill try to see what i can do to change it. appreciate the advice!