Remember C4C! Let me know what you think and all that. I've been working on this for a couple weeks.

EDIT: Ignore from bar 52 on. That's not where the song ends either, I'm just not done.
Last edited by QAZAR at Sep 24, 2010,
I'm surprised no one has commented on this.
It's quite solid. And Verse A is so groovy, that my balls have their own swagger now.
Disregard that.

I must say that the song is heavy as balls.
The intro reminds me of a much slimier and filthier Mastodon, with excellent groove throughout. Hell, I could say that (impeccable grooveness) about the whole song. And the grimness at bar 61?
I think it definitely works as a closing bit.
As such, I'm kinda iffy about incorporating the other bits after this section. You should try to work them in beforehand or remove them entirely.
(I was referring to ver. 2)

Good stuff mang.
I was thinking of writing some heavier stuff. Now I have a good template to work off of.
Crit this if you please.
the riffs after bar 77 in version 2 aren't in the song, and i made some minor changes so ill just post it for shits.

and giggles.

tell me what you think people!
JACKAL r.gp5