#1
birds on the fence;
dogs in the yard.

consider landlines;
stretched thin like alabaster skin
hanging dauntless
over the bones of the country
and the desert skeletons.
made to weather
the feet of crows and the wrath of rains
the falls and death and stillness
of a whitewashed minnesota
to the tree-soaked fishing coasts of maine.
strung through appalachia and
ornamenting great(er) plains.
all those hours and innovations
countless miles of cable laid in place
towers built and just to hear you say
"i love you-
too."
#2
I got chills after reading that last bit and the message hit me. Wonderful.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#3
what he said ^
this one is perfect. its really tight. your back on and moving better than ever.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#4
This was tight like nothing else I've read for a very long time. Everything is fitting and appropriate and nothing looks out of place. Yet each sentence has a richness to it that forces you to read it on its own as well as with everything else. And that helps it become as detailed or as 'light' as you want.

And the way the whole piece lays down the flow of the 'lines' is so awesome. You don't branch too far off from the original imagery of the telephone lines, and it makes the ending so powerful and simple.

The idea itself - maybe of past inventions that have helped mankind live a life full of communication and excitement - is perfectly simple and humbling. It's not the most dark of topics, but that's great. I don't always want to read something morose and ott.

I'm not sure whether there is anything else in there that I should be concentrating on. I'm really not the best at deciphering poetry. But nonetheless, I thought this was fantastic!
#5
this is the greatest thing I've ever come into contact with that has anything to do with the eastern side of this country.

yes, love is dead, indeed.
#6
I'm changing my opinion of this completely. After reading Spike's comment, I see now what you really meant to say. It's actually quite the opposite to what I thought it was. I'm sure that doesn't bother you, but it's a little embarrasing for me.
#7
Quote by AngryGoldfish
I'm changing my opinion of this completely. After reading Spike's comment, I see now what you really meant to say. It's actually quite the opposite to what I thought it was. I'm sure that doesn't bother you, but it's a little embarrasing for me.



I wouldn't be embarrassed if I were you- how a piece speaks to you is entirely filtered through your thoughts and mindset. your initial interpretation is just as a valid as the composer's- meaning is created in the reading. I initially interpreted it closely to what yours was and honestly, whatever you get from a piece is indicative of you and the person you are. the enchantment of poetry is this exact thing- no one meaning can be deemed correct. the chisels are there- the way you see the statue is completely your own.
#8
Quote by Sticky Tissues
I wouldn't be embarrassed if I were you- how a piece speaks to you is entirely filtered through your thoughts and mindset. your initial interpretation is just as a valid as the composer's- meaning is created in the reading. I initially interpreted it closely to what yours was and honestly, whatever you get from a piece is indicative of you and the person you are. the enchantment of poetry is this exact thing- no one meaning can be deemed correct. the chisels are there- the way you see the statue is completely your own.
#9
Quote by Sticky Tissues
I wouldn't be embarrassed if I were you- how a piece speaks to you is entirely filtered through your thoughts and mindset. your initial interpretation is just as a valid as the composer's- meaning is created in the reading. I initially interpreted it closely to what yours was and honestly, whatever you get from a piece is indicative of you and the person you are. the enchantment of poetry is this exact thing- no one meaning can be deemed correct. the chisels are there- the way you see the statue is completely your own.


I like this guy more and more with every post.
#11
as far as i'm concerned as soon as i post something here it stops belonging to me. whatever message i intended in any given piece is unimportant; it belongs to whoever's kind enough to read it and it means whatever that person wants it to. thanks so much for the responses guys, it's wonderful to be able to write something i like again, and i'm really glad you guys seem to like it too.
#13
This was short, sweet, and left off with just the right touch of emotion. Loved it.

Quote by hippieboy444
i wonder how you guys get such great ideas and write such great poems.

Just live life, and when something comes up that you think you should write about, write about it over and over until you come up with something you like, read it over and over again until you hate it, throw it away, and write some more. That's how I attempt to write at least half-decent stuff, anyways.