#1
we are crumpled by shocks of movement
the only way to last through time is to be resilient


I'm not quite bone but I am getting there.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
I wonder if all the dust from my joints being ground together will fill me up and I'll be a bag of dust and I could make coffee out of my bone dust and call it Ganoosh Coffee.

Anyways, I'm always a fan of this kind of stuff. Short and sweet, nice and concise. I should now say another pair of descriptive words with a third literary device but I can't think of any at the moment.

I enjoy this.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
it didnt really get to me :/ i think there's 1 really really really good line and two that dont do much. they aren't strong enough to stand alone. i didnt think the title helped either and with something so short its usually a good idea to be careful with it.

and theres too much space to work visually (on this forum--i wouldnt be surprised if it worked elswhere.

i dunno im sorry. im not feeling it right now.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#4
it's okay; i dont think i executed it very well, and i hate forum formatting but oh well. too lazy to scan things onto here from paper.

aaron, style's changing i think. lots of short thoughts keep coming to me
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#5
I'm having mixed feelings about this of a kind.

On one hand, I'm loving the title and the layout of this piece is probably the first I've seen of its kind, so I have to pass a kudos your way for that dash of ingenuinty, or at least as it is to me.

Admittedly, I was caught off guard by the format, and that's probably what's messing with my opinions the most. On that note, I'm still not completely sure what the gap between the two phrases is suggesting; I'm guessing it ties in with the ''I am getting there'' of the second phrase, as a sort of metaphor, but that's about the best I can guess. If that is the case, or it's something similar, I really like the idea (not just using the phrasing of words themselves, but the way the piece is presented to make a point, which is something I'd looking toward trying in whatever I write next). If there was another intended meaning though, please throw it my way (if it's okay by you, of course)! =D

If you have the time, could you pass on a bump to 'Mathematics' in my sig? It's a bit lengthy, so just a short comment is completely fine by me. =]