#1
Her graceful silhouette calls for me
As I'm mesmorized by the way the wind blows through her hair
With every breath, every laugh
I find myself exilerated
Though honestly I wonder if she even knows I'm there
I fantasize her in my grasps
The sweat breaks out, my lungs collapse
But as quickly as the thoughts come on, they're gone
For I don't even know her name
So who am I to play these games?
The only ice I'm breaking's in my heart
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all comments and criticism r welcome
Last edited by jazar94 at Sep 25, 2010,
#2
I'm sorry, but this is really cliche. This particular thought pattern for poetry has been overdone since the dark ages. When approching something of such a cliche genre, you need to be very creative in the the way you write it. Here you just have typical metaphors and images so it doesn't stick out to anyone. A couple exercises that I do to to enhance my creativity (though don't judge my creativity on poetry, for some reason I can never write a good poem,) is first to meditate. Now this is simple, just sit back and relax, think only of your breathe; in and out and in and out and in. And like everyone else you will have every thought in the world come through your mind, all your suppose to do is to just awknowledge them and let them drift away in the wind. And when you feel completely relaxed, write down some of those ideas before pushing them on their way. Now keep in mind, what your writing down is rarely poety, it's just ideas for future poetry.

The second exercise in to put your walking shoes on and walk all through your nieghborhoood. And pretend you have a blind man with you and your job is to describe every little thing you pass by. This will eventually enhance your imagery abilities.

That's all I have for you at the moment, remeber, writing poetry isn't hard; writing poetry that everyone will want to read takes a lot more Keep on Writing
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