#1
Does the rainbow leave you cold
Do you do just what you're told
Does the sunlight burn your skin
Did you really have to win
And does victory
Taste like ashes

Am I really getting old
Were those ages ever gold
Was there any other path
Are these memories all I have
Why does victory
Taste like ashes
#2
Quote by Nilchii
Does the rainbow leave you cold
Do you do just what you're told
Does the sunlight burn your skin
Did you really have to win
And did victory
Tasted like ashes

Am I slowly getting old
Were those ages really gold
Was there ever another path
Are these morbid/distant memories all I have
In the end, why does victory
still tastes like ashes

I like this,just a little re arrangement from my side but it's your song so you can always keep it as it is

If you have time drop a word on one of my pieces (as of now two are hanging somewhere on the front page)
Last edited by BloodCold at Sep 26, 2010,
#3
LOL i wrote a long song that just rhymed over and over every line..i hated that song..i never sang it or nothing..finally i go thro my old song book..ya know see what kinda stuff i could do...

its all in your rhyme patterns
so look at it like this

cold
told
skin
win

old
gold
path
have

switch the lines around..so its not all back to back rhyming
add melody to it i think..

Does the rainbow leave you cold
Does the sunlight burn your skin
Do you do just what you're told
Did you really have to win
And does victory
Taste like ashes

Am I really getting old
Was there any other path
Were those ages ever gold
Are these memories all I have
Why does victory
Taste like ashes
#4
mmh, good suggestion, although the second verse makes less sense your way. reversing lines 2 & 4 makes it work again, tho. thanks
#5
Quote by Nilchii
And does victory
Taste like ashes

I loved these lines,
but the rest was all fill
#6
hey, what's up Professor?

I like this. Obviously the feeling of finality is there and presents itself as the main theme, but I'm not buying it. I prefer the more philosophical and judgmental 'I had a better plan for you/us/this/me and this is what it turned out to be,' but I suppose that doesn't matter much.

Have you some guitar work that accompanies this?