I am pretty happy with this one, going to record it soon. Let me know what you think.

edit. re-uploaded with some good changes
Steep the spiral.gp5
Last edited by swashbuckle50 at Sep 30, 2010,
Sounds pretty good. Could maybe spice up some of the rhythm riffing with some different variations and stuff (like fills instead of more chords), like you did at the very start. I also liked it better with the tempo faster. 140 sounded much better to me.

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There are some riff that are pretty good bar 48-63. But the drum really need to have more fills/variation. So does the rythm guitar. Instead of powerchords you could try some picking on the same powerchord. Hard to explain.

Thanks for the crits.. i took you advice and spiced up the drums and did a slight change on the guitars and re-uploaded it.
Cheers for the crit

The intro was alright, the piano break was a nice touch. I like the change of rhythm at bar 25, adds a nice dynamic to the section.

Nice riff again at bar 35, I feel it could have repeated.

The piano fill at bar 47 I feel had entirely the wrong tonality. The idea is good, but it wasn't quite dark enough a fill.

The piano break at bar 64 is much better.

Although I like the shift in rhythm to 16ths at bar 88, the change back robs it of a lot of pace.

The fade out piano another nice touch.

Overall it is quite a good song, but nothing shone out at me as being particularly outstanding. Hope this helps
Thanks man, I took your advice on that piano fill and the riff at bar 88.. much better now.
Returning crit.
First, lemme say that this isn't really my style/taste at all.

but onto the crit.

...First, and this is prevalent throughout the whole song, I really, really hated the excessive closed hihat use. It just started to get annoying, but that might be personal taste. And it might not be so on recording; I dunno.

Second, there are these... breaks, that I don't feel are very necessary, or serve much purpose... Like in/around 45, and earlier too.

The piano also bugged me. There is such better ways you could've used the piano, I find. Especially on the only piano break for four bars, that'd almost just be better served as an acoustic guitar. There's no bass notes in the piano playing, no rhythm part, etc... Give a listen to some of zakatak's songs if you haven't, for an idea as to what I go for with piano/good ways to use piano. that said, the main melody the piano plays is fine. But for instance, on the piano solo break, some bass rhythm/notes would make it much less jarring when the super low bass line enters with the drums.

Finally, I feel like this song could use a bit of both of these: MUCH more adventurous chords, and more interesting drums in places [ie: drums that have active cymbals, really. Drums that accent the climaxes/accent the rhythms, etc]. By chords though, I mean experiment with diminished, experiment with sevens, thirteens, nines, etc etc etc. They can all sound good when used well.

S'all I got, really. Other than those points, not a bad song. Nice job.
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Last edited by Burning_Angel at Oct 5, 2010,