#1
Its kind of emoish but here it is anyway.


Watch me break down

i'm afraid of the sun, cos' it sheds light on the truth
i cant hide from the fact, that every thing crashes
im trying so hard, but nothing is right
its a circle of the life that i used to lead

come join the crowd, watch me breaking down
come join the crowd, watch me breaking down

why is misery so familiar?
how come good things never stay?
i wish i could find my place in life
because right now im standing
in the middle of logic and faith

i'm scared of the truth, i dont want it to come out
it's too complex to decide, i'm aching inside
it's too hard to confide, the thoughs that reside
i'm as broken as shattered can be

come join the crowd, watch me breaking down
come join the crowd, watch me breaking down

The say when life give you lemons you make lemonade
i try to stay positive yet i'm pessimistic
if i could choose to just be i'm sure it could work
but in the end all that matters is that every action has a reaction

why is misery so familiar?
how come good things never stay?
i wish i could find my place in life
because right now im standing
in the middle of logic and faith


Edit: Some grammarrr
Last edited by RodeoBrunslid at Sep 27, 2010,
#2
You critted mine, I thought I'd do the same.

I liked it.

The say when life give you lemons you make lemonade
i try to stay positive yet i'm pessimistic
if i could choose to just be i'm sure it could work
but in the end all that matters is that every action has a reaction


This part I didn't particularly care for, I don't really know why, it just seemed to not have much flow. Re-write it, leave it, it's up to you. Just my thoughts.

Why is misery so familiar?

I really like this line. It's so true.
Well done dude. Great job.
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#4
It's cliche in parts especially the whole stanza that skylerjames pointed out and is not the first line in this stanza taken from some show on star world?

3rd line in the first stanza is probably the biggest cliche,though I really like the first line overall this stanza does not rhyme but that depends on the way you sing it anyway, still I would suggest expressing this thought better cuz the first few lines should be able to captivate the reader and they were not...

Really like the last three lines of chorus and this which is the pre chorus no?
"Come join the crowd, watch me breaking down
Come join the crowd,watch me braking down"

Would suggest adding a break here....
"I'm as broken, as shattered can be"

This was what I felt...Overall it's pretty nice but needs some changes

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1363218