#1
Hey everyone!

Another lil song from me like I would like your opinion of. My girlfriend is currently coming up with some music for this and I'm expecting some soft rock although I may be wrong.

Man got his woman,
in the house of spades,
loving each other yhh,
loving every day.

Clinging on to whatever they can hold to,
they know the tides are turning, times they can renew.

The Queen of cards is looking,
for what she cannot find,
she looking so hard yhh,
through the peoples minds.

Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know

The jacks and kings are huddled,
amongst the black and reds.
the guillotine is sharpened yhh,
to cut off queenies head.

The mass of numbers creep up as far as they dare go,
mustn't be to quick now, mustn't be to slow.

Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know

They creep up behind her,
take her by the neck,
march her to the guillotine,
wheres the power in the deck.

Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know

Any opinion, criticism or comment would be great. Thanks
#2
I'm a beginner at critiquing but i'll let you know what i think


Man got his woman,
in the house of spades,
loving each other yhh,
loving every day.

I liked this opener, it wasnt until the second time through that it made sense to me, but that just makes it more dynamic

Clinging on to whatever they can hold to,
they know the tides are turning, times they can renew.

This part just seemed a little out of place to me, I didn't see how it related to the rest of the song

The Queen of cards is looking,
for what she cannot find,
she looking so hard yhh,
through the peoples minds.

I really like this verse, my only suggestion is to change the last line, i would love to see an adjective in the place of "the" to describe the people

Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know

The jacks and kings are huddled,
amongst the black and reds.
the guillotine is sharpened yhh,
to cut off queenies head.

I really like how the "playing cards" theme goes through this verse. Another strong verse

The mass of numbers creep up as far as they dare go,
mustn't be to quick now, mustn't be to slow.


Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know

They creep up behind her,
take her by the neck,
march her to the guillotine,
wheres the power in the deck.


Only numbers know
Only numbers know
Only numbers know


It's an interesting song and I think you did really well
#3
First of all thanks for your input, it is appreciated

In relation to your second comment it's supposed to show that the rebellion hasn't quite yet begun but it's stirring and just about to kick off. Hence why they cling on to what they have at the moment but they know things are going to change very soon.

I'm not sure about changing "the" to an adjective. I only say this because when talking about the general populace you general say The People and that is what that line is referring too.

I'm glad it had the desired effect on you which was to make you read it again and not be straight forward straight away.

Once again thanks for the comments.