#1
Hello forum junkies of the internet. I inquire your feedback on my situation that i am about to unfold.

We are a Christiian-Metalcore 4-piece. It has come to our understanding and awareness that letting go of our drummer might be the best decision. Here are our reasons for thinking this:

1. He has a family and can't tour full-time
2. His skill level has platuead while the rest of us continue to grow musically
3. He is constantly unable to practice more than once a week, if that. Today we practiced with him first time in two weeks, he has a family and all this other necessary commitments that get in the way
4. He gets worn out way faster that we do.
5. He can't invest financially into the band.

Those are our reasons and it seems like letting him go and replacing him with someone better would be our best interest, but here is the catch.

We are about to finish the drum tracks of our EP in about a month

you are probably how old this guy is compared to us?
vocals 20
bass 20
guitar 18
drums...41

Sounds weird, but it has worked fine until now.

We need advice on how to let him go, here are my questions
1. Should we tell him we are kicking him out before or after he finishes drums, he is the type of guy that would agree to finish, but idk if that is best
2. How do you tell one of ur best friends he's not in the band anymore with hurting friendships?
3. Should we all talk to him, or just one person with the band altogether?
4. Will you be our replacement drummer
#2
during band practice just be like "ah cmon, drummer. youre messing it up. get the timing right..you know what fuck it..youre off the band"
"
Last edited by psycho826 at Sep 29, 2010,
#3
There's no easy way to go about it. Just let him know that you all plan to invest more time and effort into the band, more than he can offer. I'd do it before your done, otherwise he might feel used, I know I would. If he's a cool guy it shouldn't be too bad.

I wouldn't just tell him he's out though, make it clear that he can't commit and that its in the best interest for all if he left. I also wouldn't mention his skill level being a factor as that could be pretty hurtful, focus on the fact that he has a family.
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#4
christian metal-core has no importance anyway, if God does exist, then he definatley doesn't like the idea of chirstian metal-core, i could imagine him liking a bit more of a ska/ reggae feel, whilst bopping down the street saying hi to everyone.

So in my opinion, you should kick the drummer out, because he sounds fa too comfortable where he is, and get a 3 piece brass section, and skank it up!

Peace Mon !
#5
... Tell him like you told us?
You have very good reasons to let him go. It's for the better of the band, and if he cares, he'll accept on those grounds. If not, then he didn't care in the first place.

Having him finish then kicking him out is a douche move, but telling him could make him leave before finishing, or the work will be supbar. If you don't have a replacement lined up I'd have him finish.

Settle on one person to talk, with everyone there. Don't be hostile. If he overreacts, just let him cool down.

These things happen though; given the age difference he's probably been expecting it for a while. If he gets pissy about it, tell him that the rest of you are making the commitment, and that unless he can, he shouldn't be part of the band.
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#6
So, he's good enough to lay down the drum tracks, but not good enough to stay on?

Doin' a head scratch on that one.
#7
Quote by KG6_Steven
So, he's good enough to lay down the drum tracks, but not good enough to stay on?

Doin' a head scratch on that one.


he isn't available to tour, and practices have been cut down to once a week because of him. he is good enough, could be better obivously.
#8
I understand. Well, he's 41. By that age, most guys are fairly mature and can handle it. As others have mentioned, approach it from the angle that everyone is dedicated to practicing x number of times per week and that you're looking to tour. Ask him if he can commit. He'll probably admit that he can't. Chances are, he's only doing this for fun anyway. If he won't commit and has no interest in touring, offer him the chance to stay on and finish the EP tracks and until you find a replacement. I'm sure he'll have no problem with that.
Last edited by KG6_Steven at Sep 29, 2010,
#9
Quote by KG6_Steven
I understand. Well, he's 41. By that age, most guys are fairly mature and can handle it. As others have mentioned, approach it from the angle that everyone is dedicated to practicing x number of times per week and that you're looking to tour. Ask him if he can commit. He'll probably admit that he can't. Chances are, he's only doing this for fun anyway. If he won't commit and has no interest in touring, offer him the chance to stay on and finish the EP tracks and you find a replacement.


spot on, except all he talks about is how he wants to be a big band and this and that. i guess he jus doesn't understand the commitment level he would have to dish out. he works an hourly wage job with three kids and a seasonally employed wife, he cant leave unless there is big money, which wont happen right away obviously
#10
you're in a shitty metalcore band, how good/diverse does he really have to be?

On A Serious Note: just tell it to him straight. he is 41, he will understand and will probably respect you more if you do it that way versus making something up or whatever.
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#11
Quote by jimihendrix6699
you're in a shitty metalcore band, how good/diverse does he really have to be?

On A Serious Note: just tell it to him straight. he is 41, he will understand and will probably respect you more if you do it that way versus making something up or whatever.


what do you have to gain by calling my band which you never heard, "shitty"
#12
Quote by Mbraney
what do you have to gain by calling my band which you never heard, "shitty"

'twas a joke

notice how later in the post i put "On A Serious Note" meaning the previous statement was a joke. but i dont like metalcore at all so im going to infer i would think it's bad. but don't take that personally because i dont like the genre in general.
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#13
Quote by jimihendrix6699
'twas a joke

notice how later in the post i put "On A Serious Note" meaning the previous statement was a joke. but i dont like metalcore at all so im going to infer i would think it's bad. but don't take that personally because i dont like the genre in general.


appreciate the advice buddy
#14
Quote by KG6_Steven
I understand. Well, he's 41. By that age, most guys are fairly mature and can handle it. As others have mentioned, approach it from the angle that everyone is dedicated to practicing x number of times per week and that you're looking to tour. Ask him if he can commit. He'll probably admit that he can't. Chances are, he's only doing this for fun anyway. If he won't commit and has no interest in touring, offer him the chance to stay on and finish the EP tracks and until you find a replacement. I'm sure he'll have no problem with that.


Great advice there. It just seems to be a clash of goals.

I'm honestly under the impression that a good set of musos can get away with just one practice per week, but if you guys want to do more and made that clear from the start it doesn't seem like he can commit.

As for touring, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone over the age of 25 who really has time for that sort of thing.
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#16
Quote by Mbraney
spot on, except all he talks about is how he wants to be a big band and this and that. i guess he jus doesn't understand the commitment level he would have to dish out. he works an hourly wage job with three kids and a seasonally employed wife, he cant leave unless there is big money, which wont happen right away obviously


He wants to be in a big band, but isn't willing to tour to get there? If he's 41, and he still thinks that stardom is going to just knock on his door without major sacrifices, the guy is delusional. If at 41, he's still holding onto the "rock star" dream, instead of thinking about the best way to support his three kids, then he's a selfish jerk.
And if you're worried about finding a way to avoid hard feelings, don't worry. There's pretty much no way to avoid having him be at least a bit resentful, so just accept it now.
#17
Quote by Mbraney


you are probably how old this guy is compared to us?
vocals 20
bass 20
guitar 18
drums...41



Just tell him it's not a fit. If I were him, I wouldn't want to be playing with guys so young anyway. There's tons of amateur bands with guys his age around.
#18
Quote by psycho826
im 26 and i have time for touring and that sort of thing


Sorry I should have rephrased.

You'll be hard pressed to find a 25 year old who isn't studying or working full time, and that is the reason they don't have time to tour.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#19
Quote by psycho826
during band practice just be like "ah cmon, drummer. youre messing it up. get the timing right..you know what fuck it..youre off the band"
"

Shut up.
Quote by skankinallthewa
christian metal-core has no importance anyway, if God does exist, then he definatley doesn't like the idea of chirstian metal-core, i could imagine him liking a bit more of a ska/ reggae feel, whilst bopping down the street saying hi to everyone.

So in my opinion, you should kick the drummer out, because he sounds fa too comfortable where he is, and get a 3 piece brass section, and skank it up!

Peace Mon !

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#20
Quote by koslack
He wants to be in a big band, but isn't willing to tour to get there? If he's 41, and he still thinks that stardom is going to just knock on his door without major sacrifices, the guy is delusional. If at 41, he's still holding onto the "rock star" dream, instead of thinking about the best way to support his three kids, then he's a selfish jerk.
And if you're worried about finding a way to avoid hard feelings, don't worry. There's pretty much no way to avoid having him be at least a bit resentful, so just accept it now.

Why do you think he's still hanging onto his job and not touring full time then? Seems about as anti-jerk as you can get to me... Also why stop dreaming as you grow up? That attitude seems more like giving up to me...

On topic: Tell him before and give him the option. How would you like it if you laid down your tracks and then got told you weren't wanted? If it was me, I'd feel pretty used... Just when you next see him tell him how you told us, just make sure you're polite and reasonable... also probably best not tell him that musically he's 'plateaued' just emphasize that you need someone who can tour full time.
#21
Quote by psycho826
during band practice just be like "ah cmon, drummer. youre messing it up. get the timing right..you know what fuck it..youre off the band"
"

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#22
Quote by EL2T
Why do you think he's still hanging onto his job and not touring full time then? Seems about as anti-jerk as you can get to me... Also why stop dreaming as you grow up? That attitude seems more like giving up to me...

On topic: Tell him before and give him the option. How would you like it if you laid down your tracks and then got told you weren't wanted? If it was me, I'd feel pretty used... Just when you next see him tell him how you told us, just make sure you're polite and reasonable... also probably best not tell him that musically he's 'plateaued' just emphasize that you need someone who can tour full time.



You can dream and put in the work, or face reality. If you want to be in a rock band for a living, you tour. That's not opinion, that is a fact. You don't get paid a lot of money and then go on tour for the first time. You hit the road for years, and you probably go into debt in the process. If he's expecting nice Mr. A&R man to come with his cheque book without putting in his years on the road, he's living in a magical fairy land populated by talking unicorns and walking lollipops.
If that's the kind of dreaming he does, he should start buying lottery tickets, hoping that lightning hits him at the exact moment he wins. That's a much more likely dream.
#23
In any job, it is customary to first give a warning of some sort before firing a person (infact it's usualy a legal requirement) so that they have the chance to redeem themselves.

Just tell him the band's plans, include the 'practicing more than once a week and touring' stuff and ask him if he thinks he can realisticaly handle the timetable. If he's sensible and says he can't, ask him what he thinks you should do.

If he's a reasonable person, he'll probably suggest himself that he should be replaced so that he's not holding you back, making the need to fire him obsolete.
#25
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why did you resurrect this thread?
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