#1
I just randomly wrote this. Let me know what you think. Some of it probably sounds a bit forced.

As I look into the sky
I begin to wonder why
Why she tore my heart out
and left me to die

A pathetic life,
is that which I lead
without her smile
to save me a while

Her love I will fight for
I will not wait in line
I will battle against
her rejection of mine
#2
the rhyme does sound a bit forced. loosen up a bit. other than that, if you tweak it a little and liven up the language you could have yourself a decent tune
keep writing. keep dreaming.

keep the notes coming...

ibanez ftw