#1
death is not a sad thing. it's not a creepy skin-crawling darkness with tendrils that stalk you from behind an invisible portal and reach out to grab you and drag you into an abyss full of monsters and shadows and more darkness. death is never a sad thing. the color of death is not black. black is the color of sadness and death is not a sad thing. red is not the color of death. red is the color of blood and of love and blood and love are not death things. the immensity of death is real. it's not a petty whimpering soul, a body crumpling to the ground. if there were a movie about death, there would be no guns or knives or nooses or instruments of killing.

death is a concrete thing. the color of death is grey. death is something that happens. it just happens. you are walking along on the sidewalk and bam, a rock comes up and drives itself through your skull. you run your car into a pole. smack. you're dead. gone. death is something that is unknown and undefined. death is just death and when it happens you are dead and everybody else isn't dead(until they die, then they are dead and everybody else isn't dead except the person who died before them when they were one of the ones not dead).

If there were a movie about death there would be no score. there would be no plot or main character. there would be a grey screen for two hours,
and everybody else in the theater would be alive.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
Last edited by Ganoosh at Nov 10, 2010,
#2
cool story bro
-Gear-
Line 6 Flextone III Plus
Behringer FCB1010 Emulating a FBV Longboard
#6
tell me about this when you get the chance

very good though. heavy and trudging but appropriately so. love the idea, quite haunting
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#7
what is it that you want to know about it?
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#8
Quote by Ganoosh
death is not a sad thing. it's not a creepy skin-crawling darkness with tendrils that stalk you from behind an invisible portal and reach out to grab you and drag you into an abyss full of monsters and shadows and more darkness. death is never a sad thing. the color of death is not black. black is the color of sadness and death is not a sad thing. red is not the color of death. red is the color of blood and of love and blood and love are aliveness. the immensity of death is real. it's not a trivial whimpering of a soul, a body crumpling to the ground. if there were a movie about death, there would be no guns or knives or nooses or instruments of killing.

so far this reads more like an informative essay to me than anything else. i like the idea. i like the picture your painting. this might just be a little toooo much of whatever it is. its hard for me to say. i wasn't huge on the listing 'black is the color...' and 'red is the color...'. that just seemed a bit bland.

death is a concrete thing. the color of death is grey. death is something that happens. it just happens. you are walking along on the sidewalk and bam, a rock comes up and drives itself through your skull. you run your car into a pole. smack. you're dead. death is something that is unknown and undefined. death is just death and when it happens you are dead and everybody else isn't dead(until they die, then they are dead and everybody else isn't dead except the person who died before them when they were one of the ones not dead).

i love this starting at 'death is just death'. everything after that i enjoy very very much. the beginning is a little bit shaky. i know the style you're going for but its hard to say if its working or failing miserably. for example, the use of 'bam' and 'smack'. its hard to explain how i feel about this so far.

If there were a movie about death there would be no score. there would be no plot or main character. there would be a grey screen for two hours,
and everybody else in the theater would be alive.

hmmm. i dont know. the ending didn't sell me. i think ending it with the last bit of the 2nd stanza and just removing the parenthesis would serve this piece just as well.


this was a bit hit or miss for me. i love the fact that you aren't afraid to explore though. in that act of exploring you stumble upon things, some wonderful, some average, but its something none the less. you are one of my favorite writers on here for that reason, i never know what to expect when i read one of your pieces, but i am always satisfied.


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1366520
if you have time maybe say a word on my new piece? even if its just 'poop' or something.
#9
Quote by Ganoosh
what is it that you want to know about it?

where this came from and what was going on with you at the time, etc
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#11

If there were a movie about death there would be no score. there would be no plot or main character. there would be a grey screen for two hours,
and everybody else in the theater would be alive.


If this stanza were the entire piece, it'd be perfect.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER