#1
I'm really just an idea,
a picturesque rhyme,
the convergence of syllables in a language sublime.
I'm a concept my dear,
And though you lust for my care,
All you'll receive is my mannequin's glare.
Trust me, I've seen others like you before,
But all they ever got was this imperical *****.

I know that you see me, but I'm not really there,
I fire billions of neurons just to give a blank stare.
If you touch my body,
Talons on flesh,
I may feel emotion
Through a wide angle lens.

But remember, if you love me, I'm not really there.
Last edited by littledude65 at Oct 1, 2010,
#2
This to me, is fantastic. I love the concept. You really thought outside of the box here, and it really makes you think. Great idea. I'd love to see more writing like this. EDIT: I really light the mannequin stare line.
My Solo Concept album Lyrics:
Void
Last edited by RockynBull at Sep 30, 2010,
#4
Yeah, I like it, but you basically drop the same line twice. Even ending it with the same word, "stare", could have tried "glare" for the mannequin line? I dunno.
Just seems weird.
#5
^^What he said 'bout substituting "stare" for "glare" in the mannequin line otherwise this I really like especially the very last line
Last edited by BloodCold at Oct 1, 2010,