How to handle a situation where someone you know is having suicidal thoughts?

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#1
I just had a long conversation with a cousin of mine. He's 16 years old and seems to be severely depressed and says that the only reason he hasn't done it by now is because he doesn't have the courage. I did my best to try to convince him to seek medical help but it doesn't seem like he will. I don't know if I should tell the rest of my family because they're the type of people that will say "Just pray and think cheerful thoughts and your depression will go away." Telling them might do more harm than good.
Note: He seems to be legitimately depressed, not attention seeking at all.
Also, I'm the only person in the family that knows about this apparently.

Has anyone here been in a situation like this? Any advice?
#2
Just knowing that there's people who care is a good start for most people. What is his problems, can you help him with it, does he have access to a counsellor at school?
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#4
Thinking of suicide at 16 is stupid. This world can be a heaven if you want it to be. It's all a frame of mind. Tell him to find things that make him happy and surround himself with people who also enjoy those things and have a creative outlet.

Best advice is to stay far away from drugs and alcohol also!
#6
Convince him and put it on youtube. /bad answer.

Seriously though he's 16 of course he thinks he wants to kill himself. I did and everyone I know did too. It's sad to say but it's a part of growing up now a days. Help him out and do some fun things with him, he'll snap out of it eventually.
#7
he wont do it hes too scared(pussy)
but seriously just talk to him maybe he has a counselor ot school he can talk to
or maybe help him with the problem he has now
#9
Yeah, he's already way better off than most if he knows that you care for him. Sounds kinda weird but try to get him to do something fun that will occupy his mind too much to think a lot. Depression is kind of a mental obsession about yourself. If anybody sits around too long just thinking about things, they can become depressed. So try to keep him busy (Exercise is good, Movies, Some music, anything where he needs to be pretty mentally involved in the activity.)

I've been there and I didn't have a lot of support with it, so I know that it's crappy. Though a forum like this isn't usually the best place to ask a question like this, I hope you get some answers that help.
Last edited by BananaMartyr at Sep 30, 2010,
#10
Seriously, just being there for him is the best thing you can do right now. Try and show him the brighter side of things, doesn't have to be anything major as long as it takes his mind away from these thoughts for just a few minutes.

The mind has a way of helping you move past bad thoughts as long as you don't dwell on them and make them worse. If there's something specific bothering him then it might also be worth talking it through but if it's just the usual 'teen angst' then it will pass when his mind is finished doing what it has to do
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#11
Quote by Arthur Curry

"Meaning of life" issues won't do much, especially if it challenges well-established beliefs. If those beliefs in any way contradict his, it could do much more harm then good.

That being said, maybe a better example to start with is have a movie night and watch "its a wonderful life."

I agree with Kensai, you gotta see if you can help him with his problems while your also trying to coax him into telling more people.

Sort of like when your on an emergency scene, you call the medical professionals, but you also help the victim even if you don't have the proper training. Some on-the-spot help can do wonders, if only to show him that you care.

But don't try to take it all on yourself, constantly encourage him to seek help.
#12
Tell his parents.
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#13
If you're really seriously worried tell someone about his condition. Depression is a mental illness, which is just as legitimate as any physical condition you can get. Has he actually been diagnosed? If so his school should have records of it, get in touch with them and they can help him. There's nothing you can do by yourself, depression can be held at bay by drugs but sometimes it just needs time, there are places where he can go that can help him get that time, I'm speaking through experience of one of my friends who went through something similar, so trust and get tell someone if you're really worried.
#14
remind him he has plenty more future occurrences to regret before he goes and gets all hasty and pulls the plug. i mean, he has at least five more girls to break his heart. but seriously tho, each one is definitely going to be worth it. so tell him to man up, screw that chick, literally or metaphorically and find the humor in it. good luck
#15
Give him some company, be nice to him, etc etc

why's he so down though? Social issues, family issues, or just flat out apathy?
#16
I don't know if there is anything specific that is bothering him. He's a really shy kid, he reminds me of myself when I was 16. I think he might also be suffering from social anxiety. He also seems to dwell a lot on "meaning of life" type thoughts and he seems to be overly critical of himself. He also said that he doesn't think his family loves him very much, but I managed to convince him otherwise thankfully. (Hopefully also, not sure if he was just pretending to understand what I was saying)
There's some issues with his dad also. His dad used to beat him.
Last edited by Masamune at Sep 30, 2010,
#17
Tell his parents.
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#18
I would still tell his parents, and I would get his friends and other people who care about him. He needs to know that there are people who care about him
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#19
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I would still tell his parents, and I would get his friends and other people who care about him. He needs to know that there are people who care about him


This.

TS most of what you described in your last post seems like the common problems that a lot of teenagers face. There's not a lot you can do without sending him to a therapist or putting him on drugs and this might make him uncomfortable and worsen the problem. Make sure he's always got people to talk to and that those people can do stuff with him to make him happy
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#20
If someone commit suicide, it's natural selection doing his job.
Of course it's sad for friends and family, but hey, someone who isn't strong enough to live will die.
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#21
Quote by Jackal58
Tell his parents.

This
Quote by Jackal58
Tell his parents.

and this.
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#22
Quote by bender424
If someone commit suicide, it's natural selection doing his job.
Of course it's sad for friends and family, but hey, someone who isn't strong enough to live will die.

Ya fuck those people that suffer from clinical depression.
Hell while we're at it fuck those people with cancer. Bastards had what was coming to them
And don't get me started on all those fuckers that have AIDS. Fucking promiscuous faggots.
Ya know what? Fuck those people that have died from swine flu too. That's what you get for fucking a pig.
And while we're at it fuck you too.
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#23
Quote by Jackal58
Ya fuck those people that suffer from clinical depression.
Hell while we're at it fuck those people with cancer. Bastards had what was coming to them
And don't get me started on all those fuckers that have AIDS. Fucking promiscuous faggots.
Ya know what? Fuck those people that have died from swine flu too. That's what you get for fucking a pig.
And while we're at it fuck you too.

My mom died from cancer one years ago today.
Also I'm sorry for my comment, I'm drunk as **** and not thinking clearly. It's a miracle I can type.

Again, sorry.
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#24
Quote by bender424
My mom died from cancer one years ago today.
Also I'm sorry for my comment, I'm drunk as **** and not thinking clearly. It's a miracle I can type.

Again, sorry.

Sorry for your loss. I can relate.

Depression is a disease as much as cancer is.
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#25
Quote by Jackal58
Sorry for your loss. I can relate.

Depression is a disease as much as cancer is.

I know I'm receiving the pills at this moment, I'm really sorry for my other post, I just feel that natural selectionshould have got rid of me by now.
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#26
Quote by Jackal58
Sorry for your loss. I can relate.

Depression is a disease as much as cancer is.


Some people are just depressed for stupid reason, this girl I know said she wanted to kill herself because her birthday party sucked >.<

So I am aware that there are people with real clinical depression, but alot of people are just depressed over small issues that can be resolved easily.
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#27
Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
Some people are just depressed for stupid reason, this girl I know said she wanted to kill herself because her birthday party sucked >.<

So I am aware that there are people with real clinical depression, but alot of people are just depressed over small issues that can be resolved easily.

That's not real depression, that's an ungrateful little bitch who needs perspective that some people don't get to have nice things like bday parties
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#28
Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
Some people are just depressed for stupid reason, this girl I know said she wanted to kill herself because her birthday party sucked >.<

So I am aware that there are people with real clinical depression, but alot of people are just depressed over small issues that can be resolved easily.

If everybody that had a bad day killed themselves we wouldn't be here. That's not clinical depression.

Quote by bender424
I know I'm receiving the pills at this moment, I'm really sorry for my other post, I just feel that natural selectionshould have got rid of me by now.

Don't say that man.
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#29
Quote by Jackal58
If everybody that had a bad day killed themselves we wouldn't be here. That's not clinical depression.


What I am saying is, that those people always say that they are depressed and want to kill themselves but most of them never will kill themself.
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He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


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#30
Quote by bender424
I know I'm receiving the pills at this moment, I'm really sorry for my other post, I just feel that natural selectionshould have got rid of me by now.

Don't take natural selection that far. Obviously if you are still alive, you are meant to be here. I hope things get better for you
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Snake?

Snake?

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#32
Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
What I am saying is, that those people always say that they are depressed and want to kill themselves but most of them never will kill themself.

Some are serious about it and you shouldn't dismiss any talk about it because you had a friend who said she wanted to kill herself because her birthday party sucked...
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#33
Just be there for him, try to help with his problems, and try to get him to look on the lighter side of things. It's really all you can do, unless you force him to see a shrink. If nothing else, make him listen to this over and over and over and over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ
#34
Quote by bender424
I know I'm receiving the pills at this moment, I'm really sorry for my other post, I just feel that natural selectionshould have got rid of me by now.


You doing any CBT? Anti-depressants are more effective as supplements to CBT.
#35
Quote by Jackal58
Don't say that man.

Well , you're right

Maybe it feel better tomorrow, if I ignore this hangover who shall strike me

TS I'm sorry for my stupid post
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#36
Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
What I am saying is, that those people always say that they are depressed and want to kill themselves but most of them never will kill themself.

What if he is serious and you dismiss it? Always take this shit seriously because you don't know if they're serious or not. If nothing comes of it, you've lost nothing. If something does, then you have that on your mind the rest of your life.
#37
You know you're depressed when you have everything and you still live in a black and white world thinking about the wonderful patterns of bloodspatter you could make on the wall behind you.


I'm excited to see the psychiatrist next month.


As for the TS, don't tell his parents yet. Do everything you can to persuade him that he still has a good year at least left of pure freedom from responsibility and law. Maybe if it's not that serious he'll snap out of it. If not, persuade him the doctor has a nice collection of drugs to make everything normal again. Don't tell his parents yet. That'll make it worse (depending on the parents I guess).
#38
I agree with Tedward. If word gets out about his depression he may feel more ostracized than he already does. Let him try to resolve this himself with the help of CBT.
#39
Just so you know the Pit sucks with suicide advice. And suicide threads in general.

The best thing you can do is be there for him. And let him know that you're there for him. And that you don't judge him or anything like that.
*-)
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#40
Well you could tell him that 4 years from now, he'll be in college and whats happening now will be a distant memory. That he feels like shit, but one day will pass. Then another day, then another. Soon a week will pass, and he might not feel better. Then a month will pass, and he still might feel better. One day, though, he'll look back and say "Man, I don't know how I got through that, but I did." You've just got to stick to your guns.
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