timfoley
foofighter
Join date: Aug 2010
156 IQ
#1
lol just checked its actually gp5
attached are two pop punky songs i wrote,
any opinions?
constructive critisism welcome.

for now we'll just call them pop punk 1 and 2
btw, if you look in the vocals/synth track you'll find lyrics
Attachments:
pop punk1.gp5
pop punk2.gp5
Last edited by timfoley at Oct 1, 2010,
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,868 IQ
#7
I listened to "1", and it definitely needs a better drum track. But the lead part is catchy, as are the vocals, so you may have a decent track there
timfoley
foofighter
Join date: Aug 2010
156 IQ
#8
Quote by Mean Mr Mustard
I listened to "1", and it definitely needs a better drum track. But the lead part is catchy, as are the vocals, so you may have a decent track there


yea, im no drummer. it would be cool if someone could change the drums and then put it up here.
Christopher S
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2010
880 IQ
#9
I liked the catchyness of both of your tunes. As with most pop-punk, you kinda find yourself cheering up as of it's sheer positive energy. I like how you captured that part.

The vocal melody is very good, though, as mentioned, the drums aren't all that great.

Keep working on it - it'll be awesome.

Feel free to critique my tune here; https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1367887
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,868 IQ
#10
hey, I tried making some edits to the first one. I changed the drum track, fixed the bass track and I changed the melody of the vocals just a smidge (like changing to quarter notes to eigth notes because i thought it sounded better). So see if you like it.
Attachments:
pop punk1-1.gp5
timfoley
foofighter
Join date: Aug 2010
156 IQ
#12
pretty much just took away the legato slides in the vocals, cause they sounded weird, simplified the drums a little in the chorus, cause i felt it was talking over the song, and then i took the funky bits out the bass, and there one bit that was on the wrong string. check it out.
(the drum and bass are done thanks to mr mustard)
Attachments:
pop punk1-1.gp5
timfoley
foofighter
Join date: Aug 2010
156 IQ
#13
Quote by Christopher S
I liked the catchyness of both of your tunes. As with most pop-punk, you kinda find yourself cheering up as of it's sheer positive energy. I like how you captured that part.

The vocal melody is very good, though, as mentioned, the drums aren't all that great.

Keep working on it - it'll be awesome


thanks, im not really into poppunk in a big way but i thought i'd give it a go.
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,868 IQ
#14
Quote by timfoley
thanks for that mr mustard, digging the drum track, and the bass ( althought its a little bit off at some points and sometimes it gets alittle too funky) i'll change it abit and show you guys what i've doen

haha sorry, i didnt really know what you wanted, so i just put what i figured would be good, without having a bass or a drumset. Basically, I wanted to put the bass in the right tuning (not the guitar tuning) and I just added some random fills to make it less boring (I figured they could be changed easily). But it still sounds great, nice song