I do consider this 2nd draft complete, which is one of the 1st "finished" songs that I've posted in a while.
It's a revamp of a previous song,"Why The Flies Must Die" and a damn better one, if I say so myself.
Here's a link.

It's still a bit of a cluster****, but I think it accomplishes what I wanted to do with the previous version.
I might remake it again. If I decide to do so, it'll be for the purposes of making a more coherent song.
You'll know what I mean when you hear this.

C4C, of course. Provide the link, and I'll be there.
I really liked this.

I could smell the Mars Volta on this, and it worked really well in your favor. The little dynamic changes around the Requiem bit were fantastic. That melody is so satisfying and meshes really well with the riff. Though, my only complaint is that you like to leave two strings muted here, when you could easily play that octave as that: an octave. I dunno if it sounds better live, but it just looks a bit trashy here. Who am I to say, though, I do the same thing.

I really don't like the intro riff/revisited bit. Something mildly bland about it. Too 1-2-3-4 for my tastes. Maybe some time sig change and stop start 16th rests or something? Either way, the ATDI riff was really good as well, and the transition to the acoustic section was perfect.

The Requiem Finale is quite possibly the best thing I've heard on this site through lurking. Fantastic solo over my favorite riff, with a subtle hint to the melody prior, and a pretty good ending.

9/10. Really couldn't dock you for nitpicking about tablature composition on Guitar Pro, just didn't really like the intro.

C4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1367271
So you remember how you told me when critting my posthardcore songs that you were unable to create any coherent "song"... Well. You've done it.

The riff were, different, especially the venicine, but you know I kind of like that. Very refreshing and all. The ATDI section well that was fab. Nice unexpected leap into the acoustic section [throwing in an acoustic bridge reeeeeeally helps to keep up the variety in a piece of music. its a great technique!]

And the finale... well what can I say about that? hehe it was amazing.

I had one issue which was that some times your chords felt muddy, but if I'm being honest that would be a non-issue in real life as it wouldn't be played in midi haha.

Good job.

I don't have anything up at the moment to crit [maybe you haven't critted everything in my sig yet? I don't know] I have some things in the works, but sadly none of my PHC which is a shame. Though I do have a short snip of something, you know a couple of riffs and that, which I may post up at some point.

Consider this the crit I owed you ... and sorry its not more critical
I love the entire thing, but honestly I liked the "pre-requiem" from the old version better...I felt it built up into the theme more.
I actually really like this. It's very progressive and flows nicely. I like the use of the melodic chords behind the leads in the beginning. That said I like the main riff as well; it's catchy but there is something to it that just won't get stuck in my head like I thought it would.

Detour Town wasn't one of my favorite parts but it's nice that you gave the bass some room in the song.

The next part was nice and it had an interesting variety of different chords.

The bass into beauty was a nice touch. Made it feel huge. But Beauty felt a little too minor at the end.

The rest of the song as well as the end are well done. It still had that feel of Detour Town but I like it much better. The leads compliment the abrupt chords much better than there being no leads at all.

Thanks for the crit man.
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Honestly on the first listen it struck me as too noisy but on the second way through it really clicked and after looking at the GP of it i think i see what you mean by motif but wow how would someone play this live? I haven't studied music or theory just self taught so i cant give you a lot of technical mumbo jumbo.
Crit while listening:

Intro reminds me of Closure in Moscow in a way, yet sounds original. Pre-Requiem is incredible, love those leads. Requiem part, too is amazing in an epic sort of proggy Volta way, don't change a thing. Has a great flow despite of its progressive, and shredy sound. Detour town part would sound great with some high pitched vocals over (although I enjoy high-pitched vocals with anything), really liking it so far. The transition to the ATDI part is creative and works well, I can def hear the influences from ATDI here, which is a very good thing, a tad repetitive but I'm sure it wont be w/ vocals over. Acoustic break, nice calm part which wasnt expected but worked well. Abrupt ending did work well too

Boring crit, I'll agree, but honestly this is great, don't change a thing. And I'm not writing that because you gave me a positive comment, I REALLY like this. It sounds like music I'd have no problems paying for to hear on CD or live, thats how epic this is. Good job! Keep the good post-hardcore coming, there's waay to much shit PHC out there
First crit so bear with me.

I thought that it was pretty good overall. It has a nice flow to it and all of the parts seem to mesh together. It has a kind of unique feel to it that a lot of music doesn't capture. As Personae said, I think Mars Volta is the closest I could get to describe it.

The first section was good. I like the chromatic run and the rhythms are interesting enough as well. Then the trem picking part and it jumping up to the higher notes was well executed as well. The off key notes were well chosen. Makes it sound more exotic and none of them sounded like wrong notes.

The Pre-requiem and the theme were nicely done as well. The arpeggios picked like that and let to ring out to form a chord are always cool to me. Again, the off key, tension notes were well employed... and back to the first riff. It feels very natural for it to return there and it doesn't sound repetitive or stale yet.

Detour town is alright. It serves its purpose well enough and adds some variety. Not the most stimulating section for sure though.
I think that this next section drags on for too long though. It should either be shorter or have something else come in to add some variety to it, in my opinion. It just gets repetitive to me after a while since it's straight eighths in an okay progression.

This next bit with the clean guitar is good. Progression is interesting, has a certain feel to it and is overall well executed.

The next chord bit same as before but it flows well enough into the requiem again and the solo adds more to it. Works well for wrapping up the song. I think the ending was a little cheesy but it's not too bad and it does its job.

Overall, I think it was well done and there isn't too much I'd change to it. I love progressive music like this, especially when it has a feel or sound you usually don't hear a lot of.
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Who's going to stop you? The music police?
Wow. I don't know why. But this was great. Probably your best, ser.

I liked that everything sorta had an underlying groove to it. And it was all memorable, while technical, but not TOO technical [got close at times though ]. The beginning/main riff was a great groovin' intro, and theme to return to, the requiem theme was flat out fantastic, and the end was brilliant. Perfect, perfect end.

I liked the clean/acoustic bit too. A nice breather there. I would say develop it, but don't. That's the only breather in the song really, and it's great.

I honestly have nothing I can crit/suggest you fix. Great work.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
What I like about this song is that it definitely has "character". I don't know what kind of sense, but it made sense to me somehow. I'll just focus on a few things I noticed now.

1:I really like the drums in this piece, especially in the intro taht is very catchy and has a weird mix of sounding familar and foreign at the same time because of its chord progresson. It really pushes you forward.

2: I love the additional guitar in the requiem theme. things like this gives this song its special character. however, the mixing got a bit messy after that, sounded a bit too harsh to my ears. The transition in the intr riff was very well placed,

3: Detour Town. I don't really get the point of this part, it was rather boring and I didn't expect it to be that long. Maybe cutting that in half would help there but I don't know, it would still need some things to spice it up and make it interesting.

Probably you wanted to go for that "the worse the first part is, thebetter will the folloing part seem to be" kind of strcuture and I gotta say, it worked out.

As I was listening to bars 62-63 I was wondering how the hell that sort of transition may work but taht got cleared up real fast. The following rif really is a bold one. It caught me off guard and totally surprised me, it didn't sound too good to my ears but it still attracted me for some reason.

The problem is though, that you sue it for too long and it loses that mystical character. I'd really like to see that riff going to another level after a few repetitions, maybe even a simple one step shift may work here.

4: I'm not a fan of acoustic break in general so I didn't like that one. However at that point of time, the whole piece felt like on of those 15minutes long proggy masterpeices to me and I think, the acoustic part would be the place to extend the song a bit. Because then, the following part will be even mroe epic.

that part is the reason you got that detour part playing for so long. The outro is able to justify every previously made decision, really good job.

Well, I guess everything was said. This is nothing I would put in my cd player, but it surely is an interesting piece and I admire your work.
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