#1
please come back i am sorry
about what happened before
i asked her what i could do to make her happy
but she said things i didn't know

she asked me to get her a shotgun
but i can't get her one
she asked me to give her a hug
but i'm too far away

she is so outspoken
about how sad she is
she talks about sex
like it doesn't mean a thing

and it makes me feel kind of heavy
but i bet if she got to know me
we could fall in love
and every time we were together
we would ****.
#2
Quote by Dylan_
please come back i am sorry
about what happened before
i asked her what i could do to make her happy
but she said things i didn't know
^^Very good

she asked me to get her a shotgun
but i can't get her one
she asked me to give her a hug
but i'm too far away
^^First 2lines could be reworked,last two i like

she is so outspoken
about how sad she is
she talks about sex
like it doesn't mean a thing
^^Whole stanza could be expressed way better

and it makes me feel kind of heavy
but i bet if she got to know me
we could fall in love
and every time we were together
we would ****.

^^You need to change the last two lines

Overall there is nothing different from the many times this theme has been done by others but it's decent

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1366544
Last edited by BloodCold at Oct 4, 2010,