Poll: Rate my song (:
Poll Options
View poll results: Rate my song (:
1 - Terrible
1 5%
2
1 5%
3
6 29%
4
8 38%
5 - Masterpiece
5 24%
Voters: 21.
andre27
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
621 IQ
#1
Emarosa/Of Machines influenced piece which I have yet to finish and organize. I believe this demo is enough to get a clear idea on how the song will eventually sound like. I know this song needs better structuring, and better drums, but I'd like to hear more opinions and ideas on how to improve this piece.
This song IS NOT mixed for RSE! Use midi!

Update: more leads, small fixes.

Enjoy "Lilith"

C4C
Attachments:
Andre, Lilith.gp4
Andre, Lilith.gp5
Andre, Lilith.mid
Last edited by andre27 at Nov 21, 2010,
lolometer1
UG's only melon deathstar
Join date: Jan 2009
902 IQ
#2
i love this dude, it's really nice how you've used the piano with the guitar near the end and i think it all works really well
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jackblackyeah17
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2008
539 IQ
#4
Criting as I go:

Intro : Sets the atmosphere well. It could use a better transition into the chorus, but that's minor.

Chorus : Awesome chord choices, just enough dissonance. Both guitars fit very nicely together.

Verse : Cool riff, nice lead. The let ring parts get a little bit crowded at some points but I suppose that's the effect you were going for. Leads into the chorus very well

Chorus: The second time around maybe you could a lead of some sort to make it more climactic. It feels bare compared to the verse

Bridge : As is, it's fine, but I think it could be better. I can't quite put my finger on what it needs.

Break : Not too much to say about this part. It's good, but not amazing

Bridge/Breakdown/Outro : Probably my least favorite part of the song. It's just too dissonant for me. I can see it as a good lead up to a solo, though.

Overall, a good song, although there is definetely room for improvement. 8.5/10
Y'all don't say that
huevos
Signt, oo Jaed?
Join date: Feb 2007
1,892 IQ
#6
Was it wrong to imagine Jonny Craig spittin his mad vocal skills when I heard this song?
No (rhetorical question is rhetorical).

That is because you have gotten close to the Emarosa song style without being derivative.
The beginning piano section is quite refreshing. A nice breather before the song kicks off into 3rd gear (maybe 4th).

Verse and Chorus sections are immense in terms of goodness. They are catchy, have a bit of grit behind them, and never lose sight of the immediate goal; to sound excellent.

Tbh, I didn't find any weak spots in the song. Perhaps that it gets very similar to Emarosa in the Bridge. Still, I enjoyed it quite a bit.
The end as well, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a transition to another song or part 2 of this song.

I can't really give that much of an in depth crit on a song that's pretty much at 100% capacity. Really, the best thing you can do is to not mess with it and record it whenever possible.

I've been meaning to write a chord driven song like this, but I always get trapped in the twiddle zone.
If you take a look here:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1367316

you'll see what I mean.
Oh yeah, plz crit. Kbaithx
Morve38
Band
Join date: Sep 2008
617 IQ
#7
The piano blends smoothly as a transition into the first section, very nice. I really like how the lead is worked into the chords for guitar one and the actual lead in the verse is catchy as well. I wasn't a huge fan of the breakdown though, the dissonance doesn't fit well and seems somewhat forced to me. So yeah, looking back I think my only complaints is with the dissonant chords at the end and the goofy piano lead. It just doesn't fit the song imo.

I'd give it a 8/10, pretty solid.
Seb1uk
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
4,004 IQ
#8
This song's pretty sick man, it's got a similar feel to 'On Letting Go', but it's different enough. It's a really good feel anyway. Loved the intro, the song flows really well together. Kinda makes me think of Dance Gavin Dance actually. I like how the bridge kinda broke up the piece, there's a slight change of atmosphere in the break which is needed. Although I think the song does need a bit more of a change in feel. Like, it's all pretty similar throughout, apart from the outro.

So yeah, really liked the sound of the piece, nice leads and chords, I just think it needs more variation in the feel of the music, if that makes any sense. Nice one man.