Signt, oo Jaed?
Join date: Feb 2007
1,892 IQ
Hyper prog, I must say.

I must begin by saying that isn't inherently a bad song, as it has plenty of great elements, but there seems to be little communication between all the instruments.
No common ground. Everyone is just playing to the same tempo, hitting the same beats, but no overall motif.
It's not to say that it's "technically incorrect" (I like making up my own tropes, so bare with me), as I see plenty of instrumental and musical proficiency.
The problem that I have is that is sounds more like a musicians clinic rather than an actual song.

I'll explain what I mean in tri-fold form:
1)The song structure is inconsequential and perhaps even non-sequential (again, not an inherently bad thing).
2.) Far too many ideas crammed into nearly every bar, aside from the clean break.
3.) The lacking harmonic/melodic motif.

All three of these are interrelated, and as such, if you were to work on one aspect (say the motif), you'd get much more cohesive song in terms of structure (#1).
That's not to say that you have to follow an ABAB, AABB, ABBA, or whatever standard structure you can think of, but it is good to have some guide so as to not confuse the listener.

One thing that I found very obfuscating was the drumming actually. Everything else sounds somewhat sound, but the drumming has no pulsations or groove.
I do prefer rhythmic-orientated work, so there is that bias on my part.

However, I just couldn't get into the songs rhythm. It was just to much going on at once, with no real expectation as to what was gunna come next.
This works in the avant-garde genre, but the avant-garde is usually about the pushing the limits of what's been established. As a sort of deconstruction beacon, removing elements while still retaining some semblance as a song.

Anyways, this song has plenty of potential.
I don't hate it at all, but with the amount of potential within it, I was a bit disappointed that it didn't really amount to anything.
Not to be offensive, but it was a technical charade; technical for the sake of being technical.

This shouldn't deter you from writing; no quite the opposite. I remember writing pieces like this and then being given a guiding light by the forum regulars here. They can help you immensely into shaping songs that you never thought possible.

If you would find it in your heart to C4C, I would appreciate it: