xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#1
This is a "song" I've been working on for about an hour a day after work. Took about a month or so. I like it. It's got a lot a genres in it I believe. I know little to nothing about music so... if things don't make sense at times then bash away. I'd love to hear what you think. Oh and it's roughly 7 minutes long and measure 205 on is a train wreck. It should be cut from the song. Feel free stop the song there. But let me know what you think.
Attachments:
Shipyard.zip
slipknotnskullz
I regret my username...
Join date: Nov 2009
208 IQ
#2
I'm Sorry but to me it sounds horrible, just random notes played at random order with no melody what so ever and I even doubt some parts are even playable.

4-7: First main riff sounds really bad, sorry but i gotta be honest

8-25: Is just random notes at random order

26-29: First good part of the song, starts to actually sound like a song and not random notes

33-36: Starts off well but ends up failing, wayyy too many brakes

37-49: Sounds quite good but I doubt you would be able to play this.

50-57: Same old horrible riff

58-63: This part is good, best part so far

64-77: Sounds like nothing but random notes

78-82: Best part so far, really well made

83-87: hurts my ears

88-91: Pretty good, second best so far

92-99: Horrible array of random notes

100-107: An ok part, not that good but nowhere near as bad as some other parts

115-134: Sounds like a really bad joke, why the hell would you put that there???

136-204: Sounds bad and not good

205-end: Best part of the song, really feels like a train wreck, would be a good way to end a song except it goes on WAYYYYYYYYYY TOO LONG like really, TOO LONG OF THE SAME THING
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#3
hey man , here's my crit

allthough i have to agree with slipknotskullz here , but it wasn't THAT bad !

i really liked the the part from bar 18 to 25 , nice groove !

and i loled hard at bar 125 till 132 , funny stuff !

but damn this goes on way to long ! i lost interest quickly , and the drums really seem to bringing the piece down !

all in all you have some good ideas but you need to work on structure and stuff !

6/10

Could you crit any of the songs in my sig ?
MedMantle
Howzit?
Join date: Nov 2008
47 IQ
#5
Quote by MobiuZ
and i loled hard at bar 125 till 132 , funny stuff !


This truely made me smile! Sounds like a song from an old game or something!
Last edited by MedMantle at Oct 17, 2010,
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#6
Thanks for the comments guys. I'm just glad people actually listened. And like I said, I have little to no knowledge of music. That's why I have no structure and bad parts. However, I have fun making these strange, somewhat terrible songs.
patrickaumon
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
488 IQ
#7
Quote by slipknotnskullz



8-25: random notes

not random notes


37-49: would be able to play this.


64-77: random notes


92-99: random notes




Lol random notes? Everything you hear are random notes.

And that part 37/49 is playable. A good compressor and a noise supressor and you can do those perfect chugging.

And next time you crit, don't say, i doubt you can play this.


OT: The song is not my cup of tea, can't crit something i don't know.
slipknotnskullz
I regret my username...
Join date: Nov 2009
208 IQ
#8
Quote by patrickaumon
Lol random notes? Everything you hear are random notes.

And that part 37/49 is playable. A good compressor and a noise supressor and you can do those perfect chugging.

And next time you crit, don't say, i doubt you can play this.


OT: The song is not my cup of tea, can't crit something i don't know.


I wasn't aware that with a suppressor you could play 37-49 because I have NEVER heard anything like that, but it looked totally unplayable and I atleast couldn't play that part.
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#9
It's all playable. With practice. Most of the parts in the guitar pro are something I've made up on guitar and played. The speed however varies. And I thought about what was said all day at work. Isn't any notes played on any instrument "random?" Maybe all notes are "random" but some sound better together. I'm a disgusting guy, I listen to disgusting music, so I wrote a disgusting guitar pro. Haha! Yes it's horrible to most. But I'm 100% positive that someone that hears this will say, "That's pretty good." But then again I could be talking out my balloonknot. O.o But thanks for the comments. I like hearing what people think. I'll try harder next time.
Dayn
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
536 IQ
#10
Well then, I guess I'll be the first to say it's okay overall... it could just use a lot of polish and some reworking. I enjoyed up to bar 114, at which point it sounds like someone's strangling a cat: in an interesting way, though I'm not sure it really fits in with what came before it, and afterwards sounds meandering. I think it could use some consolidation in regards to note choice.

The riff at bars 4-7 could make a good song though. 12-17, the beginning of those dyads were good but before it repeated it just didn't go anywhere in particular. I think instead of repeating that riff twice, you could space it out and just let it play once over those six bars, to build the tension a bit by slowing moving up. That's about all I have to say.
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#11
Oh, a positive comment. Me likey. Yeah, it does need work and I still have guitar to write for some parts. I'm going to cut 205 to the end and let it end at 204. Or something. And I'm not really sure what you mean by building tension, slowing, and spacing. But I'll work on it and i'll get back to you.
z4twenny
UG's resident Psychopath
Join date: Nov 2005
936 IQ
#12
Quote by xcoloncrusherx
. Isn't any notes played on any instrument "random?" Maybe all notes are "random" but some sound better together.


none of the notes are random if you know what you're doing.
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#13
Well said z4twenny. Well said. It makes listening to music more fun when you don't know what to expect next. Almost makes music unique again.
Julz127
And.
Join date: Mar 2008
1,065 IQ
#14
I don't see what's so bad about it. Sounds like just about all the rest of the 'core stuff on this forum. However, I don't listen to metal, so yeah.

That said I lolled hard from 125 - 133. That part was brilliant.

Also, maybe it's just the midi, but it reminded me of some of the classic doom soundtrack.
But seriously... good work, I like.

edit: if syd barret had listened to metal, this is what pink floyd would have sounded like.
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Last edited by Julz127 at Oct 18, 2010,
AA00P
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2008
87 IQ
#15
I liked 119-132 quite a bit. The rest, eh... I'm not into that sort of music.

It sounds like you know what you're doing though.
I think.


EDIT:

OH. 205-222. Awesome. Sounds like something Gojira would do.
Last edited by AA00P at Oct 19, 2010,
Kirborg
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2004
267 IQ
#16
i think it's mostly held back by the execution Like bar 120 with some refinement that would sound awesome but instead we get this weird panning and these weird guitar harmonics which make no sense at all. if you could make the bass a little more even (sometimes its all over the place sometimes its not there) and fix up the drums a bit it would improve your piece a ton I think.
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#17
Tanks for all the comments. I'm glad people are finding parts in it they actually like. Also the drums is something I've noticed people mentioning a lot. I don't really play drums or know what drum to beat and which spot. All I know is a solid beat is when snare hits on 2 and four. But that gets old so I had to do what I had to do. Haha!
xcoloncrusherx
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
120 IQ
#18
Quote by AA00P
I liked 119-132 quite a bit. The rest, eh... I'm not into that sort of music.

It sounds like you know what you're doing though.
I think.


EDIT:

OH. 205-222. Awesome. Sounds like something Gojira would do.



Oh, and yes. I do "know" what I'm doing. It wasn't like I put parts together and said, "I hope this sounds good." I wrote each part exactly how I wanted it and placed it where I wanted to.
uprawrock
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
128 IQ
#19
Work on your moustache, and then you'll have a solid peeeeeeeeeeece.