Ok, first of all, I normally don't really like post-hardcore. However, this piece was pretty good.

Intro: Worked fine, the rhytm guitar was a bit simple but the lead guitar compensated for that. Nice riff. Bar 18 - 37 worked good, nothing more to say.

I was not a big fan of the breakdown. I know it's part of this music, but I just really dislike them. They are generic and boring, IMO. This one did nothing to set itself apart from the trillions of others. Sorry, but the song might be better of if you removed it, or atleast not put it in the beggining of the song.

Ok, the verse-ish thingy was good. Nice lead riffs and the rhytm guitar worked good. Bar 61 - 68 were pretty good, the drums gave a nice touch.

The outro was good, a bit slow but it set the mood fine. I give the song a 7.0/10 It was a bit generic, but for it's generic-ness it was good.

I know it's not a very good crit, but whatever

Can you crit mine?
Im a huge fan of the genre and i think this is excellent.

-The intro is great, I really like the lead part and the rythm compliments it well.
- into the breakdown, its good and i really like the first half but im not a huge fan of the second half, its just me though.
-Im guessing the next 8 bars is the chorus because it is very catchy but still would let the vocals soar here.
-61-69 are just kinda meh but its not bad, it would let the vocals soar here too.
-69-76 are very good here too, the same lead as the other i think?
The outro is kinda plain but it works, especially if thats how you meant it to be.

Anyway i think its excellent. 9/10

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408489
a little to for the fallen dreams to be called post hardcore, no?
great song, just great. i loved the way you built up the intro for a long time [im a big fan of doing the same] it really gives a great mood setter for how you want the song to be. the next couple riffs are very clear and cut, and i like that a lot, but then we get to the breakdown, and its just way, way to short. let that thing live a bit longer it'll be a massive help to the overall length and feel of the song. or better yet would be to reintroduce it further down the road in the song. the next couple of riffs get a little repetitive and could be benefited greatly from a solo or even a vocal melody track. and then final breakdown kinda riff ends the song a little too abruptly it seems, you may want to venture off a little further to really put a cap on it so to say. overall great great song, and id love to hear more like this.

take a look at mine? youd probably like it, we have similar writing styles https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408874
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Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Feb 4, 2011,
You had me going bigtime until the breakdown dude. I'm a big fan of the genre (listening to ADTR, HTD, Emarosa, a.s.o. 'bout every day), but the breakdown kinda threw me off. The riffing from Bar 18, guessing its the verse, is awesome. The melody is fantastic, and suits it really well. Though, the breakdown does not fit in. It's extremely badly placed. I'd loved it if you'd taken the melodic lead step a step further instead and started playing som fullchords with a nice lead or something.

The chorus is as catchy as it should be, lovely part. Though, I found myself thinking the pre-chorus was the chorus.

It's a good song, this far, but I too think you should spend a little more time writing on it, and possibly adding a few bars. I didn't really want it to end just yet, and thats a good sign.

My tip for you is to try this; tell yourself that writing a breakdown is not allowed. Try everything else. Using breakdowns to often simply removes the effect, beware of that.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1409313
The breakdown was a mood killer and the outro was really disappointing. Everything else was great.
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