#2
Sounds great, prety heavy. I like bar 37 to 35, sounds realy metal. Nice work, though I'm as school so I couldn't listen it very loud, I'll try it on my guitar tonight and give you feed back!
#3
Hey I'm back, I just listened to you song with headphones! WoW! That's great!
But, I gotta be contructive, otherwise, I would have shut my mouth!

Bar 98, you have a lead that's played twice right? Let it like that, but I would double it, you know like at the 5th or octave, but after the first one. You know, you play it with one guitar like you wrote, then you overdub with a second guitar and you play the same thing for the first 8 bars. The one goes up (or the other goes down whatever but up is better) and you play the exact same thing. But it's more a recording trick than live trick because you already have 3 guitars (If you have 3 guitars in a band that's great, but I think this is more a studio version right? That why I propose!)

Second: bar 158 to 164 looks like tapping right? Try something faster! 16ths instead of 8ths.

Anyway, that's just my thougths because, in fact, the song is realy great by itself. I wouldn't cut anything nor modify the main structure

Good work my friend, keep on writing!
#4
i gave it a listen and noticed that bridge at 64+
i felt that it should be longer, like 4 bars longer. (even thought i think that there could be a better bridge)
i edited it, but you dont have to use it though.
oh, and i changed the last 3 notes of you last riff. thought it sounds more finished..


c4c?
leave a short comment on that:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1407165
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
Last edited by Nemesis@Germany at Feb 3, 2011,
#7
OH wow this is cool man
The reverse cymbol is mint.

I have to say it is fairly generic though. I would put more harmonies. The chugging is good though, really good timing man. I really like the section at bar 37. Maybe for that part, instead of the rhythm just chugging the open note the whole time put some power chords in there..just for a quarter note or so to add some texture to it. Bars 49 - 64 the leads are weak, if you are going to just hit one note and let it ring use an octave chord, it will sound better. Good note choices though! Metalcore riffs are awesome at bar 69. The rest is good, except near the end the leads are drowned out by the chords so I'd mix the rhythm lvls a but lower.

Over all it's a good tune, just needs some tweaking

7/10

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408628