shreder666
Bummed
Join date: Jul 2006
337 IQ
#1
Hey guys this is the first time I seriously try to compose something and I just wanted to get some people's opinion on what I have made so far.

I was thinking of completely redoing the intro and the drums are only there for a placeholder right now I will make them way better when the song is finished!

Thanks for linstening and I will gladly criticize your song as well if you ask!
Attachments:
7 String djent.gp5
7 String djent.mid
Kirborg
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2004
267 IQ
#2
damn you sure love that chinese cymbal don't you. anyway it's pretty cool, the intro especially is nice and energetic. i feel the riffs are a bit generic and lack inspiration though, it's all a bit too cookie cutter for my tastes. take that as you will
shreder666
Bummed
Join date: Jul 2006
337 IQ
#3
Quote by Kirborg
damn you sure love that chinese cymbal don't you. anyway it's pretty cool, the intro especially is nice and energetic. i feel the riffs are a bit generic and lack inspiration though, it's all a bit too cookie cutter for my tastes. take that as you will


Thanks, I get what you mean and I'll take it as constructive criticism!
DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#4
NEEDS BASS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BASSSSSSSS

It's not bad as it is, but it lacks the body that bass can give it. For this type of song, it NEEDS bass Just make it do the same thing as the low guitar or something.

The intro wasn't bad, but it got a bit repetitive. The ritardando helped that though. Then the riff at bar 8. Pretty standard power metal, not bad, but nothing I haven't heard before.

The change at Bar 16 was good. It only needs one repeat though... 3 is a bit excessive if you ask me.

There needs to be a transition between the part before bar 23 and the thing after. This is probably the only real "djent" part, and even then that's pushing it. The first lead was pretty alright though. Reminds me of The Human Abstract. The "solo" was alright as well, if not a little lacking in creativity. The section right where the song ends, while not bad, is very bland.

I have to agree with above poster. It seems very... uninspired. Kind of like you're going through the motions. Now, that's not a bad thing! We all do that from time to time. I can see you having lots of potential.

Overall, I wasn't too fond of it, but I don't hate it. It's not that it was bad, I've just heard it all before (and written it). The only real issues I had with it was what I mentioned.

Not gonna rate it, as it's not finished.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408814
100%
Metal
Join date: Nov 2009
660 IQ
#5
I thought it was really good. I love that riffs thats at the end. Yea, id say add bass but i'd love to hear the final result
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shreder666
Bummed
Join date: Jul 2006
337 IQ
#6
Thanks for the crits guys. Something I forgot to mention in the OP is that this was originally intended to be something djenty, alas it didn't go in that direction and I forgot to change the name XD oh well. I will get to your song later tonight after class DiminishedFifth (love the username btw :P) if I forget feel free to spam my inbox.
Antiartist
Lead the way
Join date: Jun 2007
55 IQ
#7
Liked very much the riff at the end of the song. Kinda keeped my head banging!(bar36 and on)

Overall you could write a nice song with this. Looking forward to the final version!
...and the eradication of hope is the greatest crime against humanity