Join date: Apr 2010
944 IQ
My last work for my current EP in writing (now I get to go back and retouch them all, yay!).

As always, drums are iffy, not my strong point and will hopefully be redone in some way.

My main concern is that the ending feels somewhat weak and for a while I definitely meander all over the place really fast I think.

It also didn't come out quite as 'big' as I wanted it to for the image I wanted, but that's up to me to rework in the future if I care enough.

I now have stuff set up to probably record this project this summer hopefully, given that feedback continues to be positive enough.

Again as always, thanks in advance for any feedback!

Leave a link or something to something of yours and I'll be sure to crit back for you. ;D

(sorry for .zip, GP file was too large cause of the my silly amount of tracks.)
Arms Of Empire
^ ^ ^ Band I am involved in ^ ^ ^
Please check it out? ;D

Axe FX II + EBMM JP6 + Jackson DK2S
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
I don't know man. I'm not not trying to be an ass here, but this is more a collection of random noise than it is a song.

The drums are a random collection of fills, the bass and guitars are just as random. There's no rhythm, or melodies, there's no real phrasing either instead just a huge number of 16th notes.

The clean bit at bar 26 has a lot of promise. It still suffers from a huge amount of randomness and would really benefit from better drums and bass. I also thought the intro you posted in another thread had quite a bit of promise as well, but still suffers from the same frantic randomness that this song suffers from. I really like the fact that you try to use instruments that we don't hear too often as well.

It's obvious you have a lot of good ideas but you're trying to write far beyond your actual capability. My advice to you is go back to basics. Write a simple drum pattern (kick on 1st beat snare on 3rd and either 1/4 or 1/8 note hi-hat) no fills nothing. Then figure out a 4, 8 or 12 bar chord progression. Add a very very simple bassline that follows that chord progression, then finally add your lead guitar and all your extra bits.

Once you can write simple songs like that in your sleep, then it's time to move on to more advanced stuff.

Also, find tabs for all your favorite songs from your favorite bands. Take a good hard look at the drums and the bass. Take their ideas and try to figure out how you can use them in your own music.

Good luck and stick with it.
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2008
306 IQ
its an okay song you know how to write music i dont think you need to go back to the basics ^ but there is alot you can do to make this better one would deffently be the drumming and two would be to change the guitars a bit... they stay the same the whole song like diffrent riffs but its very similar how about adding a few bass notes rather than it all be so treble...... not that doing all trebble is all bad there are some songs were its good but i think this just gets to boring without the varitation so change things up a little

i think u could ad vocals to this to.. just saying... dont add vocals as a track its stupid when people write vocals as a instrument hate it so much but yeah dont know what else to say..once again its a okay peice! just go back write some better drums for it and 2nd go back and make some tweaks to the guitar put in a little variation
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,884 IQ
Quote by dylann
dont add vocals as a track its stupid when people write vocals as a instrument hate it so much but yeah

Haha why do you say that?