Page 1 of 16
rockingamer2
Larmarky Remark
Join date: Nov 2006
408 IQ
#1
Due to some lurking in the You Laugh, You Lose thread, I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread specifically about cooking.

Post recipes, advice, shortcuts and all the like. Discuss dishes and cooks and other delicious stuff.

To start things off, here are two links:

Chocolate Muffin Recipe

A bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
poopsmith666
UG Nerd
Join date: Aug 2006
1,396 IQ
#2
^i think there's actually a recipe thread, but its grossly underused.

this may be different though.

i dunno

why am i even here, i dont know how to cook
Quote by -Collapse-
Oh, hello mister tracer! Lets dance!
Quote by CodySG
And we all poop in the sandwiches!


New Drug Chat, Eh? CLICK HERE


pass: misterhoffman
rockingamer2
Larmarky Remark
Join date: Nov 2006
408 IQ
#3
Quote by poopsmith666
^i think there's actually a recipe thread, but its grossly underused.

this may be different though.

i dunno

why am i even here, i dont know how to cook


I searched "Cooking" and came up with nothing.

I don't know how to cook either. I've made those muffins, but that's about it.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
rgrockr
cdesign proponentist
Join date: Mar 2010
350 IQ
#4
I tried making these yesterday, but I couldn't get the dough to stick together and they just ended up as little bowls with pie filling. What do you think is a good way to make the dough sticky again after I add the filling?
I'm rgrockr and I do not approve of this message.
-xCaMRocKx-
Alligators gonna alligate
Join date: Jun 2007
888 IQ
#5
I hope this thread is successful, I love cooking.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
biga29
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2008
1,157 IQ
#7
Made these yesterday. Was good.



You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
ICOG
Lavender Feminist.
Join date: Jun 2007
151 IQ
#8
Mmm, I like cooking, I shall hang around this thread.
The last thing I cooked was vegetarian lasagna with home made pasta very nice.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

Steel8909
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2007
1,864 IQ
#9
Chili:

Throw some meat, peppers, onions, garlic, mushrooms, diced tomatoes, jalapeño, and whatever veggies you have in the mix. Cook on low for a few hours, done.
Sizzleby
UG Newbie
Join date: Aug 2008
233 IQ
#10
The most complicated thing I cook is Kraft Dinner. I'm staying clear of this thread
Quote by maidenrulz19
When playing any pokemon game and encountering a fisherman with 5 or 6 FUCKING MAGIKARP!!!!!!! I mean the thing is useless and it only gives like 7 exp points each. Yeah eventually that guy can have an army of gyarados but still.
rgrockr
cdesign proponentist
Join date: Mar 2010
350 IQ
#11
Quote by Sizzleby
The most complicated thing I cook is Kraft Dinner. I'm staying clear of this thread

If you buy premade dough and pie filling, the stuff I mentioned earlier is actually easier than that.
I'm rgrockr and I do not approve of this message.
CodeMonk
UG's Old Fart
Join date: Apr 2004
1,580 IQ
#12
You guy should check out some of Linda McCartneys cookbooks.
Yeah, its all vegetarian stuff, but alot of it is really good. Especially the Spinach Pie.
ICOG
Lavender Feminist.
Join date: Jun 2007
151 IQ
#13
Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food is a great cookbook for beginners. It covers a lot of basic recipes and explains things fairly clearly and simply. It's layout is a little annoying but it covers a wide variety of food.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

That_Hot_Guy
UG's Revolver Ocelot
Join date: Aug 2008
91 IQ
#14
Might as well be called "The Women thread"
Quote by travs2448

How many of you are vegan?
Hopefully none

Does anyone know any fun recipes?
Yeah a big juicy flank steak

What can be done with tofu?
Nothing it taste like crap

Is there such thing as vegan meat? Vegan sausages ect
WTF ARE YOU ON?
ESPLTDV401DX
hey fam
Join date: Jul 2009
351 IQ
#15
I LOVE cooking haha. I'm the only vegetarian in my family so my parents said if I want to eat vegetarian then I have to cook it myself. Has anyone ever tried grilled watermelon?
e-married to Jack (bladez)
ICOG
Lavender Feminist.
Join date: Jun 2007
151 IQ
#16
Quote by ESPLTDV401DX
I LOVE cooking haha. I'm the only vegetarian in my family so my parents said if I want to eat vegetarian then I have to cook it myself. Has anyone ever tried grilled watermelon?

I'm not sure if its the same thing, but I've had a watermelon curry where the watermelon is cooked a little. I didn't cook it though.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

oneblackened
Better Than You At Mixing
Join date: Oct 2007
3,210 IQ
#17
So I'm likely to be making pizza dough tomorrow. I've gotten really fed up with how completely shit the store-bought frozen dough is, so I decided to make my own. I also make mac and cheese from a bechamel, which is basically the epitome of mouthgasm. I improvise every time, it's never exactly the same. Though, I have a tip: if you want it really creamy but you don't want to use whole milk/cream, use 3 parts evaporated skim milk to approximately one part skim/1% milk. A little bit oddly colored, but if you use enough orange cheese (ie orange cheddar or w/e) you won't notice.


On another note, southern-style biscuits are a bitch and a half to make. One has to handle the dough VERY very carefully or they won't rise.
Current Gear:
LTD MH-400
PRS SE Custom 24 (BKP C-Bomb/VHII)
ESP Horizon NT-7 (SD Full Shreds)
UA Apollo Twin Duo
Peavey Revalver 4, UAD Friedman BE100/DS40
Focal Alpha 65 monitors
Quote by Anonden
You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.
Last edited by oneblackened at Feb 27, 2011,
Carswell98
*heavy sigh*
Join date: May 2007
393 IQ
#18
last thing I cooked was my version of an eggs benedict, I substitute flax toast for the english muffin and back bacon for the ham, it's probably the greatest meal on planet earth
Last.Fm

“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”
― Terry Pratchett

qft...



Jeremy Clarkson is a knob.
cornmancer
Thou mayest
Join date: Jun 2008
814 IQ
#19
I was making apple pie just now and remembered we had this, so I thought I'd give it a bump.

If you're making apple pie, lightly coat the crust with milk before you put it in the oven. Makes it better. Trust me.
Luncbox1
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2007
344 IQ
#21
Quote by due 07
I failed my cooking class.

I almost did too, but that's because I refused to be bound by the recipe. So I would experiment with every single recipe with different herbs (didn't really have the option to mix with ingredients, we got what we got). I invariably improved on her recipe. But it wasn't her recipe, so I got crappy marks on every one.

In the words of Food Network Canada's Michael Smith: My favourite recipe? Cooking without a recipe
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#23
Quote by That_Hot_Guy
Might as well be called "The Women thread"


Get the fuck out of my kitchen!

I love cooking. I worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher, but every now and then I got to do salads and stuff, and I really enjoyed that. Before that job I knew squat about shit and half the time didn't even wash dishes correctly. Having a short balding man yell at you for leaving spots on the plates for 7 hours in a row is a little different than having your mom tell you to wash properly

But as for recipies, I have a couple of favorite ingredients that I use 90% of the time and that are healthy and good for you:

Garlic
Garlic is an amazing vegetable. Not only is it good for your heart and respitory system, it gives an incredibly distinct and delicious flavor to anything you put it in. Throw some chopped garlic in ground meat when making patties, throw it in with your noodles, you can do anything with garlic.

Onions
Same thing goes for onions. I friggin love onions.

Olive Oil
Using olive oil for cooking is good for several reasons: 1. It tastes better and 2. it's better for you.

Black Pepper
This is a spice you can never have to much of. Much like garlic and onions, a good shot of pepper can add depth to any dish.

Tomato Purée
If you're like me then you like to play around in the kitchen to try and discover new things. Something I really love to play around with are sauces, and tomato purée is an excellent base of any sauce.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Mar 15, 2011,
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#24
Quote by Luncbox1
I almost did too, but that's because I refused to be bound by the recipe. So I would experiment with every single recipe with different herbs (didn't really have the option to mix with ingredients, we got what we got). I invariably improved on her recipe. But it wasn't her recipe, so I got crappy marks on every one.

In the words of Food Network Canada's Michael Smith: My favourite recipe? Cooking without a recipe



Everything I cooked was ****ing delicious, except for a Spaghetti "improvement plan" that went horribly, horribly wrong. I didn't do these presentations on diets throughout the semester.
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#25
Quote by oneblackened
So I'm likely to be making pizza dough tomorrow. I've gotten really fed up with how completely shit the store-bought frozen dough is, so I decided to make my own. I also make mac and cheese from a bechamel, which is basically the epitome of mouthgasm. I improvise every time, it's never exactly the same. Though, I have a tip: if you want it really creamy but you don't want to use whole milk/cream, use 3 parts evaporated skim milk to approximately one part skim/1% milk. A little bit oddly colored, but if you use enough orange cheese (ie orange cheddar or w/e) you won't notice.


On another note, southern-style biscuits are a bitch and a half to make. One has to handle the dough VERY very carefully or they won't rise.


Southern style biscuits are exactly as annoying as making regular pie crust. It's the same concept: keep the butter/shortening cold and in chunks so it melts when baking and creates flaky goodness.

Also, I just get my pizza dough from whole foods. It's really just as good as homemade, because they have chefs there who make EVERYTHING. But I have a bread machine anyway (best invention ever. You can set a timer and wake up to freshly baked bread every day) so it's really easy.

I don't use a sauce for my macaroni and cheese. I just take the cooked macaroni, add some butter, some sour cream, some whole milk, one egg, and a shitload of freshly grated cheese (I usually use a block of extra sharp cheddar and a block of pepperjack), some salt and pepper, and then put a whole bag of cheddar on top to get a crispy, cheesy crust. It's really easy and more cheesy and delicious than regular macaroni and cheese.
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#26
Quote by jetfuel495
I went out and bought rice noodles today to make pho.

But I don't know how to make pho.

Someone please teach me.


Pho is pretty simple to make. If you aren't going to make your own stock, take a premade stock, like vegetable stock or beef stock, etc. and get it simmering. Take cheesecloth and put some cinnamon, anise seed, and any other whole spices you may want your pho to taste like, tie the cheesecloth in a bowl, put it in the stock and simmer away, along with a mirpoix (that's how I like mine) and a little soy sauce and toasted sesame oil. And salt and some sugar.

Then taste it to check if you like where it's at. Meanwhile, prepare some form of protein, be it chicken, pork, beef, shrimp, etc. Put the rice noodles at the bottom of a bowl, put protein in bowl, along with any other fixings you like (raw onion, bean sprouts, scallions, etc.) and then pour broth in bowl.

If you chose beef, if you slice it thinly enough, you can actually put it in the bowl raw and watch the broth cook it. I like mine with grilled chicken. It adds a nice flavor.

Quote by rgrockr
I tried making these yesterday, but I couldn't get the dough to stick together and they just ended up as little bowls with pie filling. What do you think is a good way to make the dough sticky again after I add the filling?


If you wet the tips of your fingers it helps.
metal4all
Always tripping
Join date: Jun 2004
922 IQ
#27
Quote by rgrockr
I tried making these yesterday, but I couldn't get the dough to stick together and they just ended up as little bowls with pie filling. What do you think is a good way to make the dough sticky again after I add the filling?
That looks so bomb. An egg wash might help seal it?

Edit: ^I assumed you already tried that as it was in the instructions.
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
Last edited by metal4all at Mar 14, 2011,
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#28
Quote by metal4all
That looks so bomb. An egg wash might help seal it?

Edit: ^I assumed you already tried that as it was in the instructions.


I've found that egg wash only helps with that if it's yolk only. The white is too liquidy in my experience.

Also, melted butter/margarine helps. When making wontons/egg rolls/any other sealed and fried food, you can use either egg wash or melted butter. I like the flavor of butter better, so I use that.

And I didn't actually click the link, so I wasn't aware the water method was suggested. Guess that learned me
rockingamer2
Larmarky Remark
Join date: Nov 2006
408 IQ
#29
Here's some Scrambled Eggs.

IMO the most useful part is the technique.

Also:

14 EASY MEALS

It's also a somewhat entertaining read.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#30
Quote by rockingamer2
Here's some Scrambled Eggs.

IMO the most useful part is the technique.


I have SO got to try this - first thing tomorrow morning. But I don't have any créme frâiche!!

I can't cook without my secret ingredient!
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#31
Nobody's really sharing their own recipes. Fine. I'll git it poppin'

I cook a lot. I started when I was about 4, because my dad was grilling and I saw fire, and my dad was doing it. So he taught me how. My mom was awesome at baking (owned a baking business for a while) and she taught me. I experiment a lot with cooking and baking. I am awesome at pies.

Peach-blueberry pie:

As many peaches will fit in your pie tin to your liking.
As many blueberries as you want. But make no mistake: the peach is the star of the show.
Graham cracker bottom crust (make your own, lazy bastard it's easy as falling down stairs). I have my own recipe, find your own. I generally take a package of graham crackers, double bag it and whale away at it with a hammer. The reason I prefer the hammer to a blender or Cuisinart is because most of it gets to graham cracker powder, but it still leaves some texture. Then melt some butter. Enough to the point where the graham cracker crumbs are a dark brown and completely stick together. Then add a little more. The little extra you put at the end makes the crust nice and chewy after it's baked. Then add sugar and whatever spices you like. I add some cinnamon, nutmeg, and sometimes ginger and cardamom when I'm feeling adventurous. You can add some chocolate chips (I often add cocoa powder). Mix it all up and form it in the pie tin. Bake for 7 minutes or to desired doneness (if you've added enough butter, it will puff up. When it's puffed up for a little while, take it out) and let it rest.

Mix some flour with sugar (or brown sugar, your call) and cinnamon. Take sliced or chunked peaches and coat each one in this mixture. Place on top of cooled and rested graham cracker crust. This will add enough sweetness and cinnamon to the pie without being too sweet (I don't like my pies too sweet)

AND IT WILL SOAK UP ALL THE EXCESS MOISTURE!!! This will give your pies the perfect consistency. I hate when my pies are all oozy and sliding around. If you do this, when you have cut into the pie (after letting it rest a little) there will be NO oozage. Then add the blueberries.

I like to have a regular pie crust on top. Make one, put on top, cut some arrowhead slits and cover with melted butter or eggwash. Melted butter adds more flavor IMO.

Bake until top crust is beautifully golden brown. Let it rest for 15-25 minutes. Devour.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#32
guys, I have a real problem with fish.

The thing is, I love fish, but whenever I make it it turns out like crap. I've tried frying in a pan and baking in tinfoil, but for some reason it never comes out good. Maybe it's because I'm using frozen fish?

Any ideas?
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#33
Frozen fish is an issue, because it tends to get mushy when cooked.

What specifically is your issue? Does it not taste good? Is it texturally boring? What?
breadstick
Stop that. Now.
Join date: Jun 2006
2,150 IQ
#34
I made a revolutionary discovery the other day....You can flip a fried egg WITHOUT breaking the yolk! My breakfasts will never be the same.
PPPPPPPOSTFINDER
cornmancer
Thou mayest
Join date: Jun 2008
814 IQ
#35
I'd share my recipes are. I just make stuff. I have a good idea of what I need to make the things I've made before, and look at a recipe once if I'm making something new.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#36
Quote by trueamerican
Frozen fish is an issue, because it tends to get mushy when cooked.

What specifically is your issue? Does it not taste good? Is it texturally boring? What?

it tastes aweful and either comes out waay too dry or slightly undercooked where it still has that "overly fishy" taste, if you know what I mean. It's either completely falling apart or just feels like mush.

I'll try fresh fish next time, maybe that'll work better.

EDIT:

in return, my secret recipe for the most amazing nacho dip:

10-15 chopped up slices of chestar sandwitch cheese (the kind that comes in those plastic sleeves)
200 grams of cream cheese
50ml of milk
150ml of salsa
half a cup of sliced jalapenos

Process: Heat the milk until it starts evaporating. Continue heating, but gradually add the chestar slices and cream cheese. Once most of the lumps are gone, add the salsa. Continue stirring and heating until the lumps are gone, then dump in the sliced jalapenos. keep stirring and heating for about 3 minutes, then take it off the heat and let it cool down a bit.

Serve with bread, nachos, tortillas or just a big fucking spoon because that's all you'll really need.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Mar 14, 2011,
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#37
Quote by CoreysMonster
it tastes aweful and either comes out waay too dry or slightly undercooked where it still has that "overly fishy" taste, if you know what I mean. It's either completely falling apart or just feels like mush.

I'll try fresh fish next time, maybe that'll work better.


When you freeze something, especially something with as high a moisture level as fish has, if it isn't frozen quickly enough, it dries out and gets gross.

I'd recommend that you use marinades and/or breading when cooking that fish because it's really not good enough to stand on its own. Marinading in something like soy sauce, sesame oil, hot sauce, mustard, garlic, oil, ginger, scallions, and whatever the hell else you want to throw in for 4 hours MAXIMUM and then breading it with breadcrumbs (add spices to breadcrumbs. I like garlic powder, lots of black pepper, some cayenne, mustard powder, and whatever else you like) and then frying it in oil will make it better.

COMMON MISCONCEPTION: if I use too much oil, whatever I'm cooking will be greasy and oily.

REALITY: If you aren't using enough oil, the temperature won't be high enough and the oil will seep into whatever you're cooking, making it greasy, possibly mushy, and gross. Plus, if you use enough oil, it's healthier than not using enough, for the same reason.
metal4all
Always tripping
Join date: Jun 2004
922 IQ
#38
Quote by CoreysMonster
it tastes aweful and either comes out waay too dry or slightly undercooked where it still has that "overly fishy" taste, if you know what I mean. It's either completely falling apart or just feels like mush.

I'll try fresh fish next time, maybe that'll work better.
I like my fish cooked on the grill. After initial prep, throw the the fish in aluminum foil. Put a bunch of sea salt and ground black pepper on that bitch. Maybe throw some lemon in there and some herbs of your liking. Close it, throw it on the grill, med heat, until cooked. That's with cheaper, fish I guess.

Although, if I had a nice piece of tuna or something, you know damn well that's getting pan-seared.
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#39
Quote by trueamerican
COMMON MISCONCEPTION: if I use too much oil, whatever I'm cooking will be greasy and oily.

REALITY: If you aren't using enough oil, the temperature won't be high enough and the oil will seep into whatever you're cooking, making it greasy, possibly mushy, and gross. Plus, if you use enough oil, it's healthier than not using enough, for the same reason.

This's probably the problem, I'm always VERY stingy with the amount of oil. But it's true, whenever you see cooks on TV they always have their pans with at least a millimeter high layer of oil. I'll try that out, thanks!
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Mar 14, 2011,
trueamerican
Banned
Join date: Jan 2011
633 IQ
#40
Quote by metal4all
I like my fish cooked on the grill. After initial prep, throw the the fish in aluminum foil. Put a bunch of sea salt and ground black pepper on that bitch. Maybe throw some lemon in there and some herbs of your liking. Close it, throw it on the grill, med heat, until cooked. That's with cheaper, fish I guess.

Although, if I had a nice piece of tuna or something, you know damn well that's getting pan-seared.


I sear my tuna on the grill. Get the temperature as high as it will go, oil the grate, and slap that bad boy on there for 30 seconds a side. And I baste it with my secret sauce. It comes out beautifully.

And if I'm in a special mood, I make Asian fish tacos with my seared tuna. I take wasabi powder, add as much as I want to some mayo, add lime juice and zest, some sriracha (my favorite hot sauce), some soy sauce, and some sesame oil to make my sauce. I heat up some fresh tortillas, no cheese for my tuna, add an Asian cabbage salad, place some sliced tuna on it, add my wasabi-mayo sauce and enjoy

Quote by CoreysMonster
This probably the problem, I'm always VERY stingy with the amount of oil. But it's true, whenever you see cooks on TV they always have their pans with at least a millimeter high layer of oil. I'll try that out, thanks!




Enjoy.