Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#2
Intro reminds me of Iron Maiden a bit, so I suppose thats good. Although at bars 17-24 I lose that feeling because of the no guitar. For a song this short, I think there is too much repetition. Most of the song is the same riff played over and over. I like the vibe from it though, like I said it reminds me of Iron Maiden. I wish I could say more but its a short song so yeah :p
Tster
is totally awesome
Join date: Mar 2007
1,935 IQ
#3
Its okay man. Try changing the song about a bit unless you want it really vocal driven since its so repetitive.

The bass and drums bit could probably do with a rethink. I don't think its really well placed.
Lacunallica
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2009
457 IQ
#4
Yes the song is meant to be vocal driven, Hence the repetativeness.
I was going for a maiden sound so thats good.
Zeroxk
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2008
364 IQ
#5
Sounds a lot like Metallica to me, the riffs are fine. I look forward to seeing how the song develops
Majin Gaara
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
504 IQ
#6
I'll give you a great reviewing and critiquing artistically
Listening to it for the first 28 measures, here's what I notice:


Measures 1 - 24
Has a great Metallica-esque driving riff. Great. However, I hear more going on with the rhythm section. It needs a little more feel in to get that pump you're going for, or seem to be going for vibe.

I'd suggest try filling out the bass drum more, say... every 8th note? Just to let the song pump a little more. On an added note: The intro sounds empty to me, I hear a guitar lead over the intro riff section and I think that'd fill that out with amazement!
It can't just be any lead, however. I was hearing in my head more along the lines of a lead that consists on playing linear on one string, with open notes, all muted. Hence, my example:


g---------------------------------------------
D---------------------------------------------
A---------------------------------------------
E-12h0-0-13h0-0-12h0-0-8h0-7h0----------------



Again, this is just an example but something along these lines would make for
great contrast that'd lock in tight with the Rhythm Section!


Measures 25 - 72

It's cool that you still stick to the meat and potatoes of the song, by keeping the same animal-istic drive, raging throught the song. Definitely some old thrash out of '86 for sure! Haha.

I do think however, that there could really be some variation or some added phrases in with the guitars. As well as the drums. Try adding in or changing parts around and or adding notes/drums to accent or give the ends of cadances a different feel.
Try adding in or trying different drum beats for the same riff. It's cool how one beat can completely change a riffs feel!

Oh, and that blues lead at the end? Very cool! However, You should put a sexy slide-in on that first A note of that lick, to really let the blues flow!
Maybe add a vibrato in there somewhere? Hm? Try giving it a shot and see what it sounds like


Check my Melodic Metal song out: Fade Out The Gods
Tell me what you think!
Last edited by Majin Gaara at Mar 9, 2011,
xbitmetal
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2009
289 IQ
#7
Pretty generic stuffs, that's k. I hope ur band likes them.
Lacunallica
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2009
457 IQ
#8
@Majin Gaara
I was really going for a metallica-esque Master of Puppets/...And Justice For All era Piece.
I'm not a drummer so I can only do so much.

If you wanted to make any adjustment you think would be beneficial.
I really wouldn't complain.