Registered User
Join date: Dec 2006
338 IQ
I'll keep this brief. As someone who's been struggling with his own mortality and role on this earth, today's natural disaster in the Pacific has really hit me kinda hard. Waking up to the news I just felt the need to write something. I'm not a great musician with any voice to be heard but doing this has helped me this morning and if anyone else feels the same, maybe it can help as well.

Musically: It's a Simple, 2 Track (Acoustic/Keys) and short 48 Bar instrumental. Repetitive but it's what happened. Feedback or anything in general welcome.
Last edited by HappyGilmore899 at Mar 11, 2011,
UG's Fancy Antsy-Lope!
Join date: Sep 2007
1,878 IQ
For the context you've written this piece, the instrumentation and minimalism served very well - it's a composition whose intended purpose is geared more towards thought-invoking than anything else, and it's succeeded in fulfilling that purpose.

When listening back, I couldn't help but feel the vamping of the guitar reminded me of a music box's accompaniment, so I switched the piano track to a music box, which I think presents more of that dream-like or sentimental quality. I also raised the piano/music box's parts up an octave, as it seemed to blend in too much when in close register to the guitar's parts, and got lost in the mix. To change the register, I headed to Instrument Properties and raised each string by an octave there (and soaked the piano part in the 8va symbol, so it wouldn't be awful to read ).
I really like that you've included different dynamic levels, too. Maybe it would be worth exploring that a little more, to have melodies gradually fade in or out (the second half of bar 10 could gradually increase in volume) or maintain interest in some repeated notes (such as the introduction of the piano, which moves from f -> mp, and could then descend again to p for the third Ab note)? I'm probably being picky, since I tend to overuse ideas like that.

That's about all the direct input I have, and I really don't have any gripes with this. Any voice and any piece of music is one to be heard, and it's great that you've made the conscious decision to write a piece devoted to something that speaks to you, personally.
If there's anything you are looking to be particularly critiqued though, be sure to let me know and I'll re-listen and try to offer some help.

Keep up the good work,

Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
It's beautiful and written for a beautiful cause <3
Doubleautiful <3
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2006
338 IQ
I appreciate the feedback fellas.

juckfush - The Music box and subtle harmony changes are great ideas. I actually originally had the Keys part set to music box but the density of the piano seemed to fit more. I would add the music box type track and expand/improve this if I ever tried to build more off of it but for me to do that it would be re-purposing the song and I don't know if thats something I'll do. It was a struggle to not expand on it more since this progression did lend itself well to some lead parts/harmonies but this is where I wanted to leave it, simple and to the point and really fit how I was feeling that morning. As someone who struggles to write on a consistent basis, it was tough to throw out ideas/parts when they are few and far between for me.
Last edited by HappyGilmore899 at Mar 13, 2011,