Hey thanks for the crit on mine, I'd listen to yours, if your link worked D:

You can just attach the files to your post if you edit your post and below the textbox there's 'Manage Attachments'
Oh, I didn't know that! Thanks for the warning. I'll try to get it sorted out.

EDIT: Tried out your tip, but it doesn't fit. I'll try to "rar" it to see if it fits.

EDIT2: Seems to have worked. Can someone try it out please?

EDIT3: I tried my old link and it works on my computer...
Last edited by tomas_almeida at Mar 16, 2011,
Hmm, its very hard for me to crit. Let me just say that it all sounds very professional. Some sections like those clean guitar chords at bar 9 didnt sit right with me, but surely its just my tastes. Bar 17 was a huge change in the song, but transitioned poorly in my opinion. For such a drastic change, I would either make have some sort of build up in bar 16, like a faded in chord or reverse cymbal, it comes out of nowhere. Or I would insert a bar in between 16 and 17, with a whole note of a chord or something to let it sit for a second before coming in with the distortion, you know?

Bar 19 was great, it would make a very powerful chorus-like section. I liked your re-using of themes also, with the clean guitar chords and that bassline coming back. Makes it feel more compact. I loved dissonant riff at bar 77.

Overall, I can tell it was well written, and there werent many complaints that I had with it. However, the style just seemed a little too bizarre for me. It was certainly interesting to listen to though, and Ill keep an eye out for more songs from you. Good job.
Overall its really good, but something about it feels off. I don’t like the clean guitar chords at bar 9. But I think it’s just that I don’t like that type of chord, the bassline was awesome though. The riff at bar 17 is great but I agree that it transitions poorly. I don’t like the pad in bars 19 and 20 but by bar 21 it sorts itself out and works really well.

Again in bar 26 I wasn’t crazy about the clean guitar, when they’re mixed in with the arppegiated bits though, it sounds great. The clean guitar in the middle bit sounds fantastic and I liked the piano quite a bit.

The riff that comes in at bar 69 was awesome. I didn’t like the riff at bar 77 nearly as much, I feel like it lacked the groove of the previous riff. The rest of the song was very good, nothing else to really say about that.

For some reason much of the song didn’t sit well with me. I’m not sure if it was the dissonance, the chord choice or the rhythm, exactly. I get the feeling it’s just not my kind of music. Either way it was an interesting and mainly enjoyable listen. Keep up the good work.

C4C?: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1416051
For Frodo!
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
No because a world full of marbles silly man is just as real as a half empty glass of microwaved nesquik.
Thanks for the crits.

I tried to adress some of the issues you guys pointed out. I uploaded the 2nd version in the zip. It still has the previous version in case someone wants to compare.
Nice, moody intro, I enjoyed the piano melody. To be honest I was kinda hoping it would continue with a nice melody instead of becoming kinda dissonant in bar 9. But that's personal preference.

It was pretty sick when the distortion came in, but the chord in bar 19 didn't sound good. It starts to make more sense when the chord sequence continues though. I quite enjoyed the djenty riff that started in bar 26 though.

The transition into the clean part at bar 42 was nice, I really liked the little bass run, I kinda wish more of it happened after, almost like a little bass solo. I liked the arrangement here. The piano part at bar 61 struck nicely.

I wasn't a fan of the transition back into the djenty riff, just me that is. I would've preferred if you had followed the same kinda 'pretty' chords that you used for that clean section but with distortion, and then had a transition to go back to the dark stuff afterwards.

The rest of the song is cool, enjoyed the grooves, not much else to say.

Well written song, most of my issues with this were just because of my taste, but it was good man.
Thank you very much for your for your crit.

Quote by Seb1uk
I would've preferred if you had followed the same kinda 'pretty' chords that you used for that clean section but with distortion, and then had a transition to go back to the dark stuff afterwards.

That suggestion seems really worth trying. I think I'll try to do something like that, because it does seem to make sense...
Last edited by tomas_almeida at Mar 17, 2011,
I really liked this. It was quite djenty, at the beginning at reminded me of Animals as Leaders, but a lot of sections had a really nice gloomy atmosphere to them unlike most other djent. Bar 26 for example, that was probably my favourite riff. Either that or the chords at bar 19, reminded me of Opeth a bit, I like the idea Mean Mr Mustard suggested about making it a powerful chorus-type thing.

I also loved the heavier djenty riffs. Very Meshuggah-ish, I love that you were able to use the odd rhythms to get that sort of crushingly heavy sound. A lot of djent I've heard doesn't sound nearly as heavy. The riff at bar 26 in particular I loved.

If there was anything that needs improving, I think it's the transitions. Or, since a lot of the ideas in this song seemed to have nothing to do with each other, and the transitions between them very abrupt, maybe focus more on structure when writing. There are a lot of great musical ideas here, but the structure kind of stops them from being more than just a lot of great musical ideas.

I think when you're writing music this unusual and complex, you need some way of making sense of what you're doing. Maybe try having a few musical ideas that are central to the song, and keep coming back in various forms. Also, each section should be there for a reason - I think it's important to know what effect you want each section to have, both on the listener and on the overall character of the song. Right now I think you're obviously very good at writing riffs and melodies, but the structure isn't very coherent.

Anyway, having said that, I thought this was a really good composition. But if there's anything you should work on with the next thing you write, I'd suggest thinking more about that.
Last edited by whalepudding at Mar 18, 2011,
Thank you for your critique and for the advice. After hearing our composition and becoming aware of your skills it makes me feel awsome that you tend to like my musicl ideas. Also, tonight I'm going to listen to Centrepiece again and try to do a more detailed critique, like I'd told you I would do.

Following the general opinion of the people who commented I'm going to try and redo the whole structure. I'm going to try and get it to sound more logical over time.
Last edited by tomas_almeida at Mar 18, 2011,
As I listen.

Very interesting intro. I didn't like the change to bar 17; there isn't any transition at all. I didn't really like bars 17 and 18 at all, really; they're just generic. The part following it was okay, but not all that interesting to listen to.

I liked the part starting at bar 30; very ambient.

I feel weird critting this; it feels like it's over my head.

I loved the part starting at bar 42. I like the clean guitars, and I love the part that adds in on the piano track.

I like the part starting at measure 61, but feels like there should have been some kind of transition into it. There's actually a lot of times this applies; there aren't transitions to most of the sections, and it just makes it feel like a bunch of unrelated ideas.

I like the sense of familiarity starting at bar 88.

Overall, there's a lot of cool things here, but they don't feel like a song to me, just a lot of random melodies, progressions and ideas.
Thanks everyone for the comments.

After all the critics I made an effort to make a new arrangement of this theme. The link is in the first post, in the file "new structure". The same guidelines for the other files are to be used.

I'm still not 95% happy with this one (100% is impossible, obviously), especially on one or another transition (as you have already noticed, transitioning is the thing I have more problems with).
Last edited by tomas_almeida at Mar 26, 2011,