#1
C4C. Please just give honest crits. I don't care if it's just, "I liked it," or "I didn't like it." It doesn't take long to type your opinion about it. I just want to get a general consensus on this piece.

I wrote this a while ago, and was reminded that it was on my hard drive by the suicide thread in the Pit.

No, this isn't me. A friend of mine was depressed and I was talking to him. He said he had attempted suicide three times but couldn't finish it. So this song is from the perspective of a depressed, suicidal person.


I’m alone in this world
No-one cares for me
I’m alone out here
Longing to be free

Free from the sadness
Free from the loathing
Free from myself
Free to do my own thing

And I can’t see
the forest for the trees
Cos this isn’t about
Anything but me

I don’t care
What they say
Perspective is bullshit
It’s impossible
To stay completely objective
Cos this is my life
This is me
My sadness is my own
And my thoughts roam free

And I can’t see
The desert for the dunes
Alone in this tomb
Alone in my struggle

If you say that
There is something left
You’re right and you’re wrong
But who are you
To tell me that
I am not alone
Cos I’ll feel what I do
I’ll think as I can
No matter what’s real
I’m my own man

And still that forest stands
But I’m fixated on a tree
But in my world
what’s more important
The forest or me?
#2
Very depressing darlin. You definably need to get your friend serious psychiatric help. Very depressing. Sounds like schizophrenia...horrible condition. I'd appreciate you looking at my song to.
#3
If it were schizophrenia it'd be much better. Fortunately, he's over his suicidal phase. His girlfriend pulled him out, as did religion (eh). I like to think I had a part in it, but the reality is, I probably didn't (because I'm so goddam useless )

And the song is about straight-up depression.... I don't really see where the schizo side comes in.
#4
It's good he grew out of the suicidal angst rage. If he needs to follow a religion (eh) to be happy, well better than nothing. And the schizo was referring to his inability to see his importance over a tree, I understand that it was just for the song but itz sounding like schizophrenia.
#5
Quote by PcPdestiny
It's good he grew out of the suicidal angst rage. If he needs to follow a religion (eh) to be happy, well better than nothing. And the schizo was referring to his inability to see his importance over a tree, I understand that it was just for the song but itz sounding like schizophrenia.


It's a saying. Y'know, "He can't see the forest for the trees." It means he can't see the big picture because he's stuck on all the little things. Which is true about depression. All they feel is that their life is a morass of bullshit and suffering. They look at each individual episode of sadness rather than seeing that overall, their life may be pretty good (obviously I'm not blaming them for it at all, it's just a fact.) although it may not be.