#1
but give me some tips at least! Ii's just a rough draft, with a need for a melody and shit. it's supposed to be punk, sort of in the vein of Street Dogs, Dropkick Murphys, etc. A few buddies and I may look into forming a band, and we're just kicking lyrics around, so here goes:
woke up this morning face down in the alley
after a wild night at Joleen O’Malley’s
we were gettin down and dirty but then in walked her father
says the man to me “get your hands off my daughter!”

I jumped out her window like nothin you ever seen
feelin wild and crazier than good old Charlie Sheen
maybe i shoulda never got outta bed
cuz the way i see it, I’m just as good as dead!

With all due respect, this whiskey is just fine
With all due respect, we’ll put you back in line!
With all due respect, I spiked the holy water
With all due respect, yeah, I got lucky with your daughter!
Yeah with all due respect you know we ain’t close to bein done
Strap yourselves in, boys, this party’s just begun

Oh yeah I’m a working man, I do my work with pride
Hell, it ain’t that bad, with the gang alongside
It may be a drag working night and day
But hey it’s a party,drinkin along the way

Then the foreman comes in, pissed as all hell
He told us we’d be working well past the bell
Well let me just say we’re a group you should never cross
To put it quite simply I ****ING HATE MY BOSS

With all due respect, this whiskey is just fine
With all due respect, we’ll put you back in line!
With all due respect, I spiked the holy water
With all due respect, I got lucky with your daughter!
Yeah with all due respect you know we ain’t close to bein done
Strap yourselves in, boys, this party’s just begun

-------------------------------------------------
I think other than the chorus, it isn't terrible, but, be brutal!
#2
I liked the part about Charlie Sheen.

EDIT: I just read the rest, I think it's good, for punk.
Last edited by Oyface at Mar 19, 2011,
#3
Quote by Oyface
I liked the part about Charlie Sheen.

EDIT: I just read the rest, I think it's good, for punk.

Do you think he'll sue?
and thanks mate! I figure, it's hard to do poorly when it comes to punk
#4
Its pretty good especially if youre influenced by Dropkick Murphys maybe some slight lyrical changes to make the words roll a little better like say "good ol'Charlie Sheen" opposed from "old" unless youre really putting emphasis on the "D" of old