#1
there were invisible lines that always divided us,
when the distance was there and the trust was nowhere to be seen
why did you choose me if you didn't like who i was?
why did you tell me we would last this time if we didn't stand a chance?
i hope you weren't driving around in his car while i was thinking of you at home
and now i see him crash and your heads collide and you think of me
or else he's on one knee asking for your forever and you think of me
no i mean you're eighteen and he probably smokes too much weed
and i won't even remember you in five years time
#2
I really like this one it is what i could say if i could in some situatons..... but trust me you say it way better!
#3
ahh, dang, this feeling. this took me back to some years ago where i was in a similar situation. oh, dear.* i actually went back to read my threads from a few years back because i was really reminded of what i wrote about it by this. the ideas, the style, and shit...

as for the piece. i liked it for what it is. i mean it's not a groundbreaking masterpiece. but i don't think you were going for that. just writing from feeling. and that's good. there's a time for everything. i did think this was cliché at times but some of the other clever lines and ideas saved it and turned into something enjoyable. it is relatable and easily enjoyed, i think. the car thing reminded me of that lyric by Brand New.

so yeah, i liked it.



*spoiler: i still think of her three years after. good luck with that.
#4
in five year's time we could be walking 'round the zoo
with the sun shining down over me and you.

this pleasantly reminded both of the song aforementioned by Cubs (Jude Law And A Semester Abroad, I am assuming) as well as Five Years Time by Noah And The Whale so with that context I really enjoyed this. this has just enough of a raw aspect to keep it from droning on and though it could've used a bit more of a punch, the ending sat well.