This is the second "sonnet" of a series I'm working on. I put the term sonnet in quotations because it is used rather lightly, as I invented my own rhyme scheme; it is neither Petrarchan or Shakespearean. Enjoy.


The trees swing with such brilliance and grace
In this beautiful, pristine spring-time place.
And I remember hearing a song of
Such a beautiful, angelic choir,
Humming hymns and melodies high above
Like a gentle spring breeze; takes me higher.
And such is the song of the canary
Turning the nature around me merry!
The gorgeous notes form a shield around me
Protecting me from what’s not yet to be.
The songs of the canary soar so high!
As long as I ride them, I will be pure.
As long as I grasp them, I cannot die,
For if I know something, of that I’m sure.
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.

mods used to be pretty touchy about bumbing your own thread, careful.
i like this. parts are expected, but the last line sold it for me. 7.5/10
I want Super Saiyan abilities
Yeah, no bumping.

If you want more critiques, remember to read and post something on other people's threads as much as possible, kindly asking for a return in the process.

It is generally accepted that to each one of your pieces that is criticized, whether it be a "this was brilliant and made me feel as on air" or something a lot more detailed, you must critique three other pieces.