#1
This is kind of like Danko Jones' song Full of Regret but its sort of a sad version of it about a break up, I feel it might have a sort of slow rock theme towards it but id like to give it a slow punk sort of feel so it could be played acoustically if I wanted to. I don't know if thats possible or not but if you could find a way that'd be great

Well I took you for granted
This didn't play out how I imagined
The way I feel about you
The way you make me lose my cool

And so this is regret
It's the feeling you get,
The one when you lose,
and there's no one to blame but you

This is the way it is,
the way it will be
Not the way I wanted it,
But this is the way it has to be

This feeling it hit me,
Like a bullet pierces skin,
From my chest to my heart
I found a reason to restart

I found I don't care,
I found this is unfair
I found my heart,
It was torn apart

Although in the end
I learnt to defend,
To reject this empty feeling
Forced onto me, so unappealing

And so this is regret
It's the feeling you get,
The one when you lose,
and there's no one to blame but you..

This is the first song I've ever written so be gentle :P Although any feed back would be appreciated
#2
It`s a good song, well written. The theory behind it is good, but I personally feel that the song was just a bit cliché. Maybe that`s just me, I`m not saying it`s a bad song, still well written and everything.
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.


#3
Quote by CPDmusic
It`s a good song, well written. The theory behind it is good, but I personally feel that the song was just a bit cliché. Maybe that`s just me, I`m not saying it`s a bad song, still well written and everything.

What makes it cliché? Id prefer not to be cliché if I can help it :P
#4
Well I don't want to sound like a dick, and if I do, I apologize, but to me it's another "I regret losing you" ballad. I'm not saying don't keeping working on it, it can still make a half decent song, I'm just saying it won't necessarily be memorable.
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.


#5
Nah you dont sound like a dick, I did the whole "Right what you know sort of thing" and me and my girlfriend had just broken up maybe I can make some kind of ridiculous underlying meaning and make it memorable :P Its pretty generic for the song writing world but its a start right? Haha thanks for the help by the way
#6
I agree with everything CPD said. and to be a little more specific, this stanza:

This is the way it is,
the way it will be
Not the way I wanted it,
But this is the way it has to be

is one that I didn't really like. It seems a little repetative and a little out of place because it didn't really fit with the rhyming scheme you were using. But if you did something interesting musically, like made it a bridge or something I think it could work.

But overall I thought it was good. It was maybe a little cliche, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Because most everyone can relate and get your message clearly. I think sometimes people try too hard to make their pieces really ambiguous and cryptic. Especially if you're going to use this as a song, it can still be made really powerful with the melodies and instrumentation you come up with.
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#7
Quote by CanadianXBakon
Nah you dont sound like a dick, I did the whole "Right what you know sort of thing" and me and my girlfriend had just broken up maybe I can make some kind of ridiculous underlying meaning and make it memorable :P Its pretty generic for the song writing world but its a start right? Haha thanks for the help by the way

If you're just starting, it's great to start out in your comfort zone, "right what you know" is a great starting philosophy. Now it's just a matter of branching out to more... "complex" subjects.
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.


#8
Quote by LesThanPaul
I agree with everything CPD said. and to be a little more specific, this stanza:

This is the way it is,
the way it will be
Not the way I wanted it,
But this is the way it has to be

is one that I didn't really like. It seems a little repetative and a little out of place because it didn't really fit with the rhyming scheme you were using. But if you did something interesting musically, like made it a bridge or something I think it could work.

But overall I thought it was good. It was maybe a little cliche, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Because most everyone can relate and get your message clearly. I think sometimes people try too hard to make their pieces really ambiguous and cryptic. Especially if you're going to use this as a song, it can still be made really powerful with the melodies and instrumentation you come up with.


Thanks for the help, I might just get rid of that stanza all together but I could always work on it too, if I really wanted to because with all the lyrics I have it might end up being a little long and dragged out.