Hey everyone, this is a rough draft of a new song, I'll re-record with separate tracks for guitar and vocals, but I wanted to know what people thought.




I look up at the sun,
See myself in golden light
Instead I'm soulless, so black and hopeless,
so feed me to the night.
I think back, to better days
when nothing, nothing stood in my way.

Now, I'm here and I fight the fear
and look behind on the road ahead
and wish I kept true to what I said.

Break, break away, from what breaks you down
and never stop, 'til your feet lift from the ground
So send my ashes into space
and hope to God it will erase
This broken home, of stories told
while the rest goes to waste.

I stand by, while the motions play on through
and these images, are of me and you.
But don't mistake, my regret for what I make.
With a million tries, that still go by, I wouldn't change a thing.

Yes, poop.
I'm usually not into acoustic songs, but I figured I'd give you a listen. I can hear a good song behind what you've recorded, and you have a certain timbre to your voice that makes it stand out more so than others. Slightly reminds me of old Green Day.

I can't hammer this point home enough with many recordings I hear on these forums: double-track your guitars. pan one left, and pan another right. Record the whole song once in one track, and then record it again in the other. Then you'll really hear your track sound wide and awesome.

I will say though, some acoustic mixes sound better with only one guitar track, and that may be what you are going for. Case in point, I think your song "Clever Words" sounds good, and it sounds like there's only one guitar track.

Practice with the pitch of your voice and get it as on-key as you can. You're really not that far off to begin with at all, so it probably won't be too much work for you.

If you really have a desire to or are pressed for time, use Auto-Tune on your existing tracks. There's no shame in it to smooth over small imperfections, because I guarantee you every single artist that sings cleanly uses pitch correction software/hardware in their albums - I mean, why spend millions of dollars recording and promoting a band with a singer that's out of tune? They are going to smooth things over and make sure it sounds perfect. If you use it correctly, it's really transparent and you can't even tell it's being used. But going that route may or may not be your thing.

Overall, I expected to hear worse, but I was surprised to hear that you're pretty good. Just work on your pitch a bit and don't feel bad to use Autotune to perfect the sound.

If you're C4C, I have two songs in my UG profile. They're both pretty recent, and I welcome all criticism.
Eh, I thought it was alright. The guitar playing is pretty good, but you definitely need to work on your voice. You were off pitch quite a bit and it sounded strained through the whole thing. The melody also rambled around a bit, almost as if you were making it up as you went along. Overall I think it's a good start but definitely needs some work.


Edit: Woah, ninja'ed.
Last edited by samick007 at Mar 21, 2011,
The idea is great the guitar-playing too but I have to agree with the others; you have to work on your voice a little. You have a great starting voice, but after you finish the phrase at the high pitched notes and are going down again you're often off pitch. I think this track can be great when it's finished though!

Like the melody and the lyrics work well with the song. You have a good tone to your voice. Your guitar sounds a little dull. Maybe change the strings. liked when you went into the picking part. Keep on practicing and it'll be a really good track

Originally Posted by JAHellraiser
Go into Guitar Center and tell them you are willing to spend $3000 on as many Spider and MG half stacks as they can give you.