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#1
So I had the recent epiphany that when I watch stand up these days, I'm basically engaging in a sadistic festival of self loathing - to wit, I hate the majority of contemporary "comedians" we've got these days. There are a special few, however, who seem to be loved when in a just society they would be forced to engage in bloodsport for the entertainment of more civilised folk.

Mark Watson - I've just discovered that that DIABOLICAL welsh accent isn't even his natural accent, he apparently affects it as part of his act. As if he wasn't already enough of a c***. The worst delivery in comedy.

Russell Howard - Stupid faces and loud "comedy" voices do not a joke make, Howard. And all the "funny" stories he tells about his childhood and family just make him sound trashy, especially his mother.

Michael McIntyre - Posh PRICK! Along with Russell Howard, it annoys me how 95% of his jokes revolve around using the second person, eg "...and YOU just have to say", or "...YOU just find yourself thinking..."

Dara O'Brian - Solely because he stamps all of his punchlines with a reeeeally annoying "eeeeeehhhh" sound. Seriously, listen out for it. Once you hear it you can't unhear it.

tl;dr, talk about comedians that you hate
#2
Frankie Boyle.

Some advice in case you see this Mr. Boyle:

COMEDY IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.
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#3
oh, british comedians...



Will you ever learn to be funny like you were with Monty Python? Or were they the blind hens that found the corn? Are Ed Byrne and Billy Connoly to be the last of their kind?

EDIT: on topic of overrated comedians, every single German comedian ever. I'm serious, all of them. Every single one.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Mar 21, 2011,
#5
Jimmy Carr.

His jokes are predictable, uncreative, formulaic shit you'd expect to find on 4chan. And his audiences are the kind of idiots who think "hur i fukd ur mum" is a funny heckle.

Although Stewart Lee has ruined pretty much every other comedian for me.
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Last edited by whalepudding at Mar 21, 2011,
#7
Any comedian who thinks a whole setlist of sex jokes is a fun setlist. It's boring and old.
And we all have sex, it's not something you are unique about. And I find it those who laugh the hardest really try to overcompensate for something. Do you believe that you will be seen as one of those guys that get a lot of sex if you laugh more then the joke really can claim to achieve? Seriously?

Sex jokes gets boring after one joke. Do one or two and move on, don't ****ing stay in the same route and do the same jokes over and over again about sex.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
Last edited by JohnnyGenzale at Mar 21, 2011,
#8
Quote by metacarpi
Frankie Boyle.

Some advice in case you see this Mr. Boyle:

COMEDY IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.


+3483747935886480

I hate that wanker.
#10
I HATE Rodney Dangerfield, so thanks for posting that Coreysmonster haha

As far as overrated, I guess Dane Cook's hype got to be a bit much, but I find him funny
Jeff Dunham started out pretty amusing, but his shit got old fast.

I don't hate too many comedians to be honest, I have immense respect for them.
#11
Dane Cook and Russel Brand.

Both are good in movies though. Their stand up is just utter crap.
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#12
Quote by CoreysMonster
oh, british comedians...



Will you ever learn to be funny like you were with Monty Python? Or were they the blind hens that found the corn? Are Ed Byrne and Billy Connoly to be the last of their kind?

EDIT: on topic of overrated comedians, every single German comedian ever. I'm serious, all of them. Every single one.

You know, it is widely believed in The Netherlands that Germans aren't able to sense humour at all.
#14
Agree with most here. I hate any comedian who's entire act revolves around their shitty accent or fake personality.

Edit: also Fiona O'Laughlin. ****, stories about your kids get old fast.
Last edited by matt154 at Mar 21, 2011,
#15
Also, we have a swedish comedian who's from the middle east originally. So his entire setlist is him talking about himself being an immigrant. That's comedy for you.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#16
Quote by blake1221
I HATE Rodney Dangerfield, so thanks for posting that Coreysmonster haha
Jeff Dunham started out pretty amusing, but his shit got old fast.


I'm not a big fan of his standup either, but you have to admit he was quite the character
I whole-heartedly agree with Dunham. After hearing "Silence! I kill you!" mimicked horribly by everyone from little kids to teachers to hearing it as people's ringtones... it lost its appeal very quickly.

Quote by The_Casinator
You know, it is widely believed in The Netherlands that Germans aren't able to sense humour at all.

Germans love to laugh. They love to laugh at retarded things like Mario Barth and cheap Sascha Cohen ripoffs.
#17
We also have a Dutch commedian who moved here as a kid from Morocco, but he is one of the most enjoyable comedians around. His stereotype-based jokes are actually funny, and it isn't the only thing he talks about.

EDIT:
And Ryan, I don't really know if it was at all that funny, but when I watched Der Schuh Des mannitu as a kid, I nearly died laughing.
Last edited by The_Casinator at Mar 21, 2011,
#18
Sarah Palin
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epic win. total, epic win. this is probably the best OC ever created on UG.

kudos, sir.

kudos.
#19
All of the OP list

Jimmy Carr

Basically any 'comedian' on those idiot programmes that everyone seems to love so much. 'Mock the week' and the like, ****ing garbage, i never watch tv anymore by choice but if it's on and that drivel is on tv it's ****ing painful to go through.

There are very few good comedians actually but these people who everyone seems to love these days are not funny, it's a sign of how shit comedy is becoming over here, stupid programmes like 'the IT crowd' and that other one i can't remember the name of, stupid unfunny drivel, people need to go on youtube and look up Dylan Moran and realise how comedy is done.

/rant.
#21
Quote by The_Casinator
And Ryan, I don't really know if it was at all that funny, but when I watched Der Schuh Des mannitu as a kid, I nearly died laughing.

Okay, both Bully Herbig and Otto have brung out a couple of decent films, and they have a couple of good routines, and I'll admit they're the best that Germany has to offer.
However, Schuh Des Mannitu was a fluke of genius. If you've seen any of Bully's other films like Traumschiff Surprise or Lissi, you'll quickly see the drastic difference in quality between his newer films and the Schuh des Mannitu.

Otto was really good in his older material back from the 70's, but he's been doing the same shtick for 40 years now, and there's really nothing funny about him anymore since it's always the same thing
#22
Quote by CoreysMonster
Okay, both Bully Herbig and Otto have brung out a couple of decent films, and they have a couple of good routines, and I'll admit they're the best that Germany has to offer.
However, Schuh Des Mannitu was a fluke of genius. If you've seen any of Bully's other films like Traumschiff Surprise or Lissi, you'll quickly see the drastic difference in quality between his newer films and the Schuh des Mannitu.

Otto was really good in his older material back from the 70's, but he's been doing the same shtick for 40 years now, and there's really nothing funny about him anymore since it's always the same thing

I never saw the newer movies. Fact is, Dutch people don't even have the money to make comedy films, and when they do they manage to screw it up.
#23
Quote by Fivebretz
Dara O'Brian - Solely because he stamps all of his punchlines with a reeeeally annoying "eeeeeehhhh" sound. Seriously, listen out for it. Once you hear it you can't unhear it.

Also "rhjdfgahdfgiondfgkj like whatever". And whenever something makes a noise, it's "foom".
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#24
Quote by Zoot Allures

stupid programmes like 'the IT crowd' and that other one i can't remember the name of, stupid unfunny drivel, people need to go on youtube and look up Dylan Moran and realise how comedy is done.

/rant.


Hate to piss on your chips good sir, but the writer of The IT Crowd also co-wrote Black Books with Dylan Moran. So......
#25
Quote by whalepudding
Jimmy Carr.

His jokes are predictable, uncreative, formulaic shit you'd expect to find on 4chan. And his audiences are the kind of idiots who think "hur i fukd ur mum" is a funny heckle.

Although Stewart Lee has ruined pretty much every other comedian for me.


I don't think I've simultaneously loved and hated a post before, Jimmy Carr and Stewart Lee are my 2 favourite comedians

On topic, two words: Ross. Noble.
The 'meat flaps' thing is kinda funny but he's nowhere near the comedy genius everyone hails him as, honestly people act like you've just molested their newborn when you say you're not keen on him!
#26
-George Carlin, because some people take him waaay too seriously, like he's a ƒucking philosopher or something.
-Demetri Martin, because once he got his show he started relying too heavily on the "look at me, I'm a hipster" angle, and he even started explaining his jokes like we're too stupid to get it.
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#28
Quote by crossy uk
Hate to piss on your chips good sir, but the writer of The IT Crowd also co-wrote Black Books with Dylan Moran. So......

Yeah difference is that was funny. And had the good sense to die while it was still good.
#29
Quote by crossy uk
Hate to piss on your chips good sir, but the writer of The IT Crowd also co-wrote Black Books with Dylan Moran. So......

I like the IT Crowd, but Black Books and Father Ted were so much better. Graham Linehan is best when he writes with others.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#30
Something I hate that a LOT of comedians do, that I'll try to describe as concisely as possible, is the lesser version of the Dara O'Briain sound effect, is when they continue on with a fake sentence after having obviously dropped their punchline. They just launch into a new, fake sentence and just give it up after the audience laughs. In it's most basic example, they'll just eg. tail off into "ehhhhhhh" and pretend to be starting a new train of thought but really they're just letting their punchline drop. This is turning into a nonsensical ramble, but it grinds my ****ing gears. I hope at least one person knows what I mean just so I can feel less weird about my hang ups.
#31
The vast majority of female comedians I've seen I don't find funny in the least.

Sarah Silverman is just annoying, as is Kathy Griffith.

Whitney Cummings is alright and Lisa Lampanelli has her moments.

Other than that, most every one I've heard has not made me laugh. The odd one here and there, but meh

Not trying to be sexist or anything, but they just don't do it for me.
#33
Bill Hicks. If I can shamelessly copy and paste, this more or less sums up my feelings (no, I didn't write it):

Ever wondered what a comedian with no charisma, no stage presence, no funny lines, no decent routines and nothing to say outside of lukewarm sixth-form socialism and vulgar jokes nicked from the pages of Hustler would look like? Bill Hicks is your answer. The beginning, but sadly not the end, of a diarrhoea-like outpouring of breathtakingly arrogant but supremely untalented performers who make the mistake of thinking that people really will laugh at anything. There are a few performance clips on YouTube where the late Mr Hicks receives fewer laughs than Ali G at a BNP rally.

Ever heard his "pretend you're working" routine, where he tells his boss "YOU pretend I'm working, I'll pretend people are buying stuff, we can close up shop"? How ****ing dire, I came up with funnier stuff than that when I was ****ing seven, and I wasn't as self-righteous about it either.

"Well, if you'd SEEN Hicks live, you'd think differently"... Story for you. I was actually in the audience for the recording of the Revelations special at the London Dominion Theatre. It was early 1990s and there was a massive 'buzz' around this sweaty bastard, as if he was the new Lenny Bruce or something. What a wasted ****ing evening that was, I haven't seen so many glum faces after an evening of 'comedy' since I saw Little and Large at Butlin's Skegness. I later watched it on Ch4, and the paucity of laughs on the soundtrack was testament to the "****ing hell, this is SHIT" mood that pervaded the crowd. I was dating a trainee nurse called Lisa at the time, took her to the show and she hated every second of it. When it was over, she quietly asked me "Does his psychiatrist know he's allowed out at night?". That was the funniest thing I heard all evening.

Possibly the worst thing about Hicks - and it's not even really his fault - is the sheer volume of piss-poor imitators he spawned, all of whom missed the 'point' (if there was one) of his act by miles. I even saw some greasy spawny bastard at a comedy club 'open mic' spot wearing a Bill Hicks t-shirt, which made me seriously ill. The fact is, all this "Bill Hicks was uber-cool" bollocks is revisionism - when he was alive he was a greasy-looking, overweight miserable ****er who peddled seventies stoner philosophy to audiences of whooping dickheads who thought he was "the truth", instead of someone who probably paints ****ing Dungeons and Dragons figurines whilst listening to Yes albums. Another ****ing swindle.

Being a Derek and Clive fan, I'm all for comedy that stretches the boundaries, but the sad truth is Bill Hicks was years out of date the moment he emerged. Seriously, how can anyone call him a social commentator? His whole act is full of drivel anyone with half a brain would have dismissed as nonsense when they were seventeen. He rants against things without actually being FOR anything, save for awful third-rate heavy metal, apparently. If audiences had the temerity not to laugh at him, he'd call them retards and sulk like a little bitch. He railed against commercialisation and consumerism and called America "the biggest shopping mall in the world" or some such shit, yet he was a fan of ****ing Kiss...a band who merchandized **** out of themselves. Mixed messages? What on earth would anyone want with a Kiss lawnmower?

I can't understand why he's often described as being 'brave' and 'revolutionary' for attacking such difficult targets as Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer, the greasy, overrated ****. In another routine he spends a full ten minutes slating the hard target that is Debbie Gibson, simply because she had a number one album in the late eighties. Fearless or what?

I don't for the life of me understand how John Cleese can rate him as one of his comedy heroes alongside Spike Milligan and Peter Cook. It does NOT MAKE SENSE.

"Ooh, I'm smoking, ooh, I'm so edgy, ooh, I'm speaking in favour of drug use, aren't I blowing middle America's mind" ... "I took drugs and had a real good time"... aren't you just stating the ****ing obvious? What's that Bill, politicians are corrupt and the government lies to us? Well, no shit. ****'s sake, I knew that when I was ten and stayed up late to watch Spitting Image. "Oh but he's a genius"...**** off. He also used my least favourite of all stand-up comedian's tactics, which was shouting to emphasise the supposedly funny bit. It's abundantly clear from the Chicago bootleg that he thought all hecklers were retards. It never crossed his mind that maybe perfectly intelligent people were giving him gyp simply because they didn't find him remotely funny.

"He never sold out!" ****ing jog on. Had he lived, I'd be willing to bet he'd be a regular on Scrubs or some shit like that by now, and all the Hicks fanboys would be rushing home tonight to catch a repeat of Everybody Loves Bill on E4. He was a sellout waiting to happen, that's why he pitched a hissy fit when the Letterman show dropped one of his routines.
Don't believe his "Orange drink" routine, that was copied from Bobcat Goldthwaite of all people. Amazing how he described advertising people as "the spawn of Satan", yet how did people find out about his videos, albums and live shows? Altogether now...ADVERTISING! This ****ing idiot's world view was so full of holes it may as well have been a colander.

The bastard about it all is, his fans were so stupidly loyal, the greasy-headed **** could've walked on stage, farted, and walked off again, and they would all leave the show gibbering on about how much of a genius he was for doing it.



Oh, German comedy? Henning Wehn is great.
#35
comics who only talk about the differences between men and women or white people and black people. for like an hour.
#36
Bill Hicks is fucking terrible. Just an angry man giving his opinions, don't think I've laughed at anything he's ever said.
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#37
Quote by CoreysMonster
oh, british comedians...



Will you ever learn to be funny like you were with Monty Python? Or were they the blind hens that found the corn? Are Ed Byrne and Billy Connoly to be the last of their kind?

EDIT: on topic of overrated comedians, every single German comedian ever. I'm serious, all of them. Every single one.

Henning Wehn's pretty funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YTbONFlQi4

agree that most of the stuff that's in the mainstream's pretty tedious. I would say that Dara O'Briain and Ed Byrne are a lot better than that sham of a show, MTW they're always on.
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#38
I dislike all comedians and would never want to be a comedian. I want to be a song and dance man.
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#39
Also, George Carlin. Calling something bullshit isn't a punchline.
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#40
Quote by whalepudding
Also, George Carlin. Calling something bullshit isn't a punchline.

yeah agree with that.
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