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#1
Simple. You can also post a joke that wasn't really good but was well received by the audience.
#2
More to do with context than a knock knock joke.
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#3
What's the deal with airline food?
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that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

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#4
Every joke I make is the best joke I've ever made. I am hil-arious.
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#6
Quote by guitarxo
You know what, there should be an orgy thread for people who want to get e-married but haven't found someone yet.

I like to think this quote was well received by the audience.

I never intentionally make jokes IRL though. People just laugh at what I say, i don't know why
cat
#8
How jazz musicians think:
"This sounds pretty good"
"I know, let's add some complicated chords and chromatics so it won't"
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#9
I just flew in, and boy are my arms tired!


Probably one of those "you had to be there" things.
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Tweet at me bro
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Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#12
Coming back from the toilet half-drunk, and starting to sing Never Gonna Give you Up was my best joke, as six people nearly choked from laughing.

As far as that can be a joke...
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#14
Quote by Gunpowder
Every joke I make is the best joke I've ever made. I am hil-arious.



i cant argue that...i dont know if you heard the rumors but apparently you ****ing rock
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#15
These are definitely in my top ten:

When we went cycling to friend A's house at about 10 pm, my friend B's dad asked: "Do you have some light your bike" and I instinctively replied ""The lord is our light"

Lil' joke I made:
"Hey, do you live unstructured?"
"Only on Wednesdays"
#16
Quote by guitarxo
I like to think this quote was well received by the audience.

I never intentionally make jokes IRL though. People just laugh at what I say, i don't know why


Same... that's why my friends call me fuckwit :P
#17
How can you tell if a nun is pregnant?

By the lump in her socks!!


Did you laugh?


It was created by me and my friend in fourth grade to see who would laugh at a joke that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Most people will laugh so that they don't look stupid but they actually are, because it's the dumbest joke ever.
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#18
Quote by LizarD0
Same... that's why my friends call me fuckwit :P

Yeah, my friends call me loltard
cat
#19
Quote by mystical_1
How can you tell if a nun is pregnant?

By the lump in her socks!!


Did you laugh?


It was created by me and my friend in fourth grade to see who would laugh at a joke that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Most people will laugh so that they don't look stupid but they actually are, because it's the dumbest joke ever.

I should try this
#20
Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
How jazz musicians think:
"This sounds pretty good"
"I know, let's add some complicated chords and chromatics so it won't"




OT: A girl in my class a couple of years ago was diagnosed with diabetees. She was at the hospital for 2 weeks and returned to school afterwards as usual, but she was really bummed out. So one time she was sitting next to me and my mate, looking all shitty then sighing and saying to us "Dont get diabetees you guys..". We felt kinda awkward, but then i shouted at her "Dont tell me what to do!". She laughed her anus off and so did some people that were around. I think that was pretty funny
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#21
In the ice baths after track practice (standing in trash cans filled with ice and water to help with soreness, etc) talking about getting frostbite on our dicks from standing in the water.

"I looked down and saw that my dick was really black and hard. At first I thought it was a good thing, but then I realized the truth."
#22
"This is a nice ditch. I'm glad we came here."

Talking about driving high and crashing your car into a ditch as a result.
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#23
Hey, do you like fishsdicks?
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#25
Why did the Nazi cross the road?

To get to the Rhineland!

Bwhahahaahahahaahahaha................................... i can't believe no one found that hilarious, i was having a gigglefit for ages when i thought it up.
#26
i sorta made this, friend stole it and made it a facebook group...
my friends were taking the piss outa the japanese earthquakes and tsunami, my girlfriends half japanese so i took slight offense but i couldnt help but say this...

"guys guys come on, dont take the piss out of the japanese tsunamis my best friend died over there....

R.I.P so kin wet"
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I saw it with my dudefriend. But I'm totally not gay, because I have a girlfriend. She's imaginary, but atleast I have one.
#28
Quote by Kensai
Hey, do you like fishsdicks?

little offtopic but how do you know so much about american culture? You are from Sweden correct?
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my penis floats when its in the water so it always looks hard

Hello my name is guy i like my women naked and aroused lol
#29
Mine wasn't really a joke but just a funny response in a conversation about pain boundaries with women and men...
Me: Women have much higher pain boundaries when they're giving birth, but other than that there's no real difference between men and women
Friend (Girl): Well, if I compare my pain boundaries with my boyfriends' (who is also one of my best friends, and is pretty much skin over bone), I can take more pain than he does.
Me: Well, he's not really a decent standard, is he?

And it wasn't even ment to be a joke, just me pointing out a fact... And it wasn't really that good
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#30
Quote by guitar-guy69
little offtopic but how do you know so much about american culture? You are from Sweden correct?



Yeah, because South Park isn't accessible from anywhere else...

I too am on the witty response party. It's all about situational comedy, people!
That, and not trying too hard.
Last edited by unet at Mar 21, 2011,
#33
Quote by The_Casinator
They're kinda spontaneous and situation-related.


Kinda like boners
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#34
My friend was complaining about some food taking too long to cook so I say: "hey! It takes time to reach perfection, that's why you were born early.
Obviously Fassa.
#35
Yea, mine is pretty much witty responses. Like when my friend is playing his guitar and tapping his foot. I asked him what's he doing and he said keeping time.

Then I asked him what time is it?

I made up a few though I can't remember much:

You hear about a blond hooker calling it quits?

She's broke.


You hear about a new microwave oven made in West Germany? (old)

It seats 12.
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#36
A few years ago I was waiting outside a locked classroom, and a girl I was with came and pushed on the door. She saw it was locked and walked away, but I said "Oh it's not locked, you just have to push harder". SHIT joke, but the people I was with cracked up, probably the best reaction i got to a joke in my school life, and I'm a famous Tryhard when it comes to comedy
#37
Quote by Nakon14
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The Holocaust


What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?


The holocaust.


What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple?


Nothing.
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#38
I'm just basically a dickhead about every single thing people say.People laugh sometimes. Think Daniel Tosh but even scrawnier and more stoned.
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#39
My friend (who is a girl) was waiting on her dad to get out of the bathroom, and she texted me saying, "Men take forever in the bathroom!!" and I responded with "Women take forever in the bedroom!!" It's my best I can remember.


Yeh, I'm more of a witty response kinda guy.


Oooh, like a couple days ago this cocky little 15 year old kid was getting on my nerves being all cocky. And he came up to me and was like "Hey bro, I don't think we've met yet." And I was all like, "Hey broooooo, lets keep it that way..." Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
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Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
Last edited by biga29 at Mar 21, 2011,
#40
Quote by guitar-guy69
little offtopic but how do you know so much about american culture? You are from Sweden correct?


thank you for confirming the American stereotype .
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
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