#1
A martyr man in the news today,
Committed suicide,
He got tired of waiting around,
For a good reason to die,
If everything happens for a reason,
Why’d he have to go?
Maybe he thought he could leave us here,
I guess we’ll never know,

Third rock floating out here by ourselves,
Maybe one day we can take over the world,
What’s a few deaths compared to a holocaust,
When is the point when we admit that we lost,

A hitchhiker’s body was found today,
Rotting in a ditch,
His clothes were torn, and his shirt said
“Life is a bitch,”
His wallet completely empty, he had,
Nothing to his name,
The world didn’t ever stop for him,
And everyone felt the same,

Third rock floating out here by ourselves,
Maybe one day we can take over the world,
What’s a few deaths compared to a holocaust,
When is the point when we admit that we lost,

A soldier died out at war today
He got shot in the head,
Maybe if he ran a little faster
Then he wouldn’t be dead,
They sent him back to his family,
He was their problem then,
His girlfriend swallowed a bullet,
So she could be with him,

Third rock floating out here by ourselves,
Maybe one day we can take over the world,
What’s a few deaths compared to a holocaust,
When is the point when we admit that we lost,

If everything happens for a reason,
Why do you have to know?
We think we’ll be forgotten,
But memories never go,

Third rock floating out here all alone,
Just another ****ing demented sickened world,
The only way this shit will end is a holocaust,
And that’s when we can finally say we lost,
Last edited by DanyullS at Mar 21, 2011,
#2
I really like this one, I think it has some real potential.
Personally, (and this is just my opinion, and I'm new, and no means an expert) I might change up some lines. Like 'The world didn't ever stop for him.', 'A soldier died at war today.', 'then he wouldn't be dead.'
I think 'A soldier killed at war today' sounds better, could be too strong, yours sounds more casual, you could even try something like 'Another jarhead died at work today.' Just ideas good work though.
#3
I like your ideas, and I actually agree with the third suggested line change. The line about the world not stopping is a reference to the fact that he's a hitchhiker. For the soldier's first line, I kept it simple because that's what the song is about. Life seems simple, and even though people die every day, the ones who live never care until it intrudes on their life. The "he wouldn't be dead" line could worded better though.