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#1
My roommate's a pretty chilled out guy, which is nice.

But at night, he sounds like a tractor running over a deer. I'm still deciding whether or not it's a dead deer or a live one, because he sometimes make some weird moaning noises that sound like a dying animal, but usually it's just like a deer corpse being run over by a John Deere.

And there's nothing I can do about it. I can't move out, and I can't exactly tell him to stop snoring.

So what bullshit have you had to put up with from your roommates? Funny stories welcome.
#2
Mine sometimes reads over my shoulder, nothing else seems to bother me. My roommate is a good friend back from high school, so I ultimately have no problems with him.

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#3
I simply can't put up with snoring, i'd smother him in his sleep.
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...
#4
I can't speak for roommates but flat mates...

When I was in first year halls, my door to my room closes slowly for some reason. So when I left my room to go the shop, I let the door close and lock itself. When I got back 2 minutes later, I opened my door to find all my stuff gone - bed, desk, locker, 90% of my clothes - gone. Turns out one of my flat mates heard me leaving my room, got into my room before the door closed, took everything and put it into the disabled toilet. Mother****er. STill had a good laugh bout it after
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#5
People stealing your food, borrowing your stuff without asking, (if it's not a dorm room) people trying to get out of paying their share of the bills, general slovenly behavior.

For the snore, buy yourself some of those spongey ear plugs. It helps cut down the noise.
#6
i hate when people complain of my snoring
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#7
Quote by DegaDeth
I can't speak for roommates but flat mates...

When I was in first year halls, my door to my room closes slowly for some reason. So when I left my room to go the shop, I let the door close and lock itself. When I got back 2 minutes later, I opened my door to find all my stuff gone - bed, desk, locker, 90% of my clothes - gone. Turns out one of my flat mates heard me leaving my room, got into my room before the door closed, took everything and put it into the disabled toilet. Mother****er. STill had a good laugh bout it after


You roommate is the man.
Listens to Jazz

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#8
Quote by Joey-Tribiani
You roommate is the man.


I had to high five him when he told me. Best I could do on him was to make his room the complete opposite (bed on other side of room etc)
Schecter Hellraiser Solo 6
Ibanez RGR321EX
Roland Microcube

RIP Dio _\m/

"There are times in your life when you have to ask yourself the question "What would Charlie Sheen do?""

Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
#9
well, in england we have flat mates but nowhere really has room mates
some things that annoy me though are; when ive had food go missing, when i cant play guitar cos someone i live with works nights and asks me to keep it down, when the flat downstairs wont let me play it at all, any time of the day, because the dont like it disturbing their "study" and when everyone else has gone home and im the only person here
although, some of the pranks that have happened have been hilarious
most of us have had our rooms removed to the corridors and once, while playing football in the corridor, we managed to smash through one of our roommates doors, completely destroying the lock which we managed to fix before she came back, and seh didnt notice until we told her about it
Hi, my name is Forrest and i play the Gee-tar

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#11
I live in an apartment and my current roommate is probably the best I've had since I've come to college (I've had 3). But tath's probably more of a comment on them. This guy comes from a pretty sheltered home life and he has very few life skills.

- When our microwave died, he almost went hungry because he can't "cook" anything without it.

-If I give him permission to have some of my food, he'll occasionally take that as "free reign" and have any food of mine that he wants at any given time.

- He's the worst self-motivator when it comes to cleaning. I will occasionally stop trying to start a massive clean of the appartment, just to see if he will and he never does. His bathroom currently smells like an outhouse.

- If something breaks or goes wrong in the apartment, he tells me I should call the land lord and even if I'm able to get him to do it, I have to literally write out what he has to say. I think a lot of that is due to me living in the apartment a year before he did and for some reason he sees me as "in charge."


But, he means well and he's generally a decent roommate compared to the others.
#12
My french housemate in the first year of Uni was awful. At first she seemed really sweet, polite and kinda naive but as time went on she just turned into a drunken drama queen. Usually her and french friends would steal all our food and take i to eat at someone elses house or falling down the stairs/throwing up at 4 in the morning and one time standing outside the house calling someone a **** at the top of her voice. We tried to get her back by putting laxatives in a chocolate cake but they didn't eat it. And the absolute worst thing was finding a used Always Ultrta pad in the bathroom sink. Not slightly used - this thing was caked in dried blood. Thankfully she went back to France to finish her course.
OUT OF ORDER
#13
Quote by loose bowels
And the absolute worst thing was finding a used Always Ultrta pad in the bathroom sink. Not slightly used - this thing was caked in dried blood.


I just threw up a bit in my mouth

I actually can't complain about my flatmates too much, one thing that does annoy me is them communicating via Facebook, text or by leaving childish notes around the flat instead of just knocking my door when they want to speak to me/have a problem
#14
i can't complain about my current flat mate, my last ones?

It was like being someones mother. I lived with two metal dudes (i'm a girl). both had hair longer than mine and constantly clogged the sink, tub, anything that could be clogged, was. they never cleaned, ever. i gave up after a while and just never left my room. everything was dirty all the time, they never did the dishes. they never pitched on shared amenities like toilet paper or tooth paste. i used to buy myself toilet paper and hide it in my room.

and, despite the fact that i lived with two, huge, over 6" METAL DUDES who looked scary as hell, ME, the 5"4 little brunette girl, who couldn't even harm a fly, used to have to call the landlord every time to get anything fixed! (and trust me, i lived in a dump, we had to call the landlord once every 2 months or so!)

you'd think the metal dudes would be more intimidating to get shit done, but both were too chickenshit to call, so I would have to call and sound as fierce as possible to get things done
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#15
My roommate back when I was 19 was a dick. He was a buddy of mine in HS and then I lived with him and his girlfriend for a while. He was always trying to give me a Dirty Sanchez. He would chase me around the apartment with his pants down sometimes, but that stopped once I slammed his head in the door from the kitchen to the back hallway. He was mean as hell to his GF sometimes too. I don't know how she put up with it. He would piss on her in the shower and one day I woke up to them at the end of the hallway with the bathroom door open after they had just got out of the shower and he ran his toothbrush down the crack of her ass and then proceeded to brush his teeth with it.

I didn't necessarily want to keep living there, but my parents had basically kicked me out of the house at that point and I didn't have many other options making $250 a week.
#16
My roommate is currently a good buddy of mine since highschool and we live in a small dorm that only has one room, about 12 foot by 14 foot. He has to weigh about 320 pounds and has an odd odor to him. He also never leaves the room except for class and meals. He has 2 friends besides me that he hangs out with and they just come to our room and dont leave till rediculous hours of the morning regardless of when i have to be up. He also chews tobacco and leaves bottles about a quarter full of his tobacco spit sitting all over the room and has left his dirty molding dishes in the sink since last semester. He will sometimes put his trash in a bag, but the farthest itll make it is to right next to the door till the smell is so bad that i take it out. I havnt had a girl (or any of my friends for that matter) in my room all year because either hes in there or the sight of spit bottles and nasty dishes mixed with the smell of his futon he sleeps on drives them out. Im definatley paying the extra money for a private room next year.
#17
My roommates like to pretend that they are my parents. They've even photoshopped themselves into pictures of me when I was younger.
#18
Quote by bklinger83
My roommate back when I was 19 was a dick. He was a buddy of mine in HS and then I lived with him and his girlfriend for a while. He was always trying to give me a Dirty Sanchez. He would chase me around the apartment with his pants down sometimes, but that stopped once I slammed his head in the door from the kitchen to the back hallway. He was mean as hell to his GF sometimes too. I don't know how she put up with it. He would piss on her in the shower and one day I woke up to them at the end of the hallway with the bathroom door open after they had just got out of the shower and he ran his toothbrush down the crack of her ass and then proceeded to brush his teeth with it.

I didn't necessarily want to keep living there, but my parents had basically kicked me out of the house at that point and I didn't have many other options making $250 a week.

What's a dirty sanchez?
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Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

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Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#20
Mine will get up at four or five in the morning to do something. That will wake me up and I sleep terribly anyway, so he'll do that then sleep 'till noon and I have to get up for a nine 'o clock class.

And he's really extroverted and I'm really introverted so he thinks I'm weird because I don't have a huge flock of friends and don't mind sitting around in the room.
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brot pls
#22
Mine NEVER leaves the room. Hes one of those people who spends every waking minute of his life on his laptop playing league of legends. He doesn't talk at all either. But hes alright, I guess. He doesnt bother me.
#23
Quote by DegaDeth
I can't speak for roommates but flat mates...

When I was in first year halls, my door to my room closes slowly for some reason. So when I left my room to go the shop, I let the door close and lock itself. When I got back 2 minutes later, I opened my door to find all my stuff gone - bed, desk, locker, 90% of my clothes - gone. Turns out one of my flat mates heard me leaving my room, got into my room before the door closed, took everything and put it into the disabled toilet. Mother****er. STill had a good laugh bout it after

Some of my flatmates did that to me, except when they tried to move the desk/chest of drawers/bookshelf thing, they broke it...

It wasn't as funny then...
#24
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A mexican style mustache made of shit.

Ok...
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Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#25
I don't share my room, but my flatmate pretty much uses my room as an extension of his. I come back from class or even the shower (which is between my room and his) and he's in my room playing the ps2 or on the computer. It doesn't bother me that much because he's a good friend, but the place is a complete state because of the amount of time spent in it by so many people.
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#26
Quote by two_headed boy
Mine NEVER leaves the room. Hes one of those people who spends every waking minute of his life on his laptop playing league of legends. He doesn't talk at all either. But hes alright, I guess. He doesnt bother me.

That's probably what my roommate thinks of me. He said his old roommate was so weird because he had no friends and never left but I started to realize that he probably thinks I'm weird too. I'm not good at meeting new people and I actually like being alone a lot. And I leave a lot but it's always when my roommate isn't here either.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#27
Quote by Venice King
What's a dirty sanchez?

Basically, he would stick his finger down his girlfriend's sweaty, unwashed asscrack and then try to wipe it across my upper lip.
#29
Quote by bklinger83
Basically, he would stick his finger down his girlfriend's sweaty, unwashed asscrack and then try to wipe it across my upper lip.

Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#30
I used to have two roommates that I consider my best friends, which was awesome. Now I just live with a guy who keeps to himself. I don't mind it, because I'm sure living with an asshole would be 10x worse, but I definitely miss having fun all the time in el apartemento.
AMERICA
AMERICA
AMERICA
#31
The guy who lives next to me in my uni halls is a social retard and a dick to everyone (read: EVERYONE). He tries to give me shit about playing music too loud and my choice of food (crisps, chocolate, unhealthy s*t), when he literally, and I cannot stress this enough, eats food out of the bin. On multiple occasions we have 'caught' him eating mouldy bread, month old mince (the kitchen stank) and cheese. He has shouted at me in his retarded droning voice for stealing one of his plates and using it which I did not do, called me a dickhead once I left the room, repeatedly bangs on the wall yelling TURN THE MUSIC DOWN ignores anyone when they say anything to him about anything.

Myself and another flatmate decided to release our man juice into two halves of a 3 month old lemoncake we were given, put the cake together and put it back in the plastic case. We put it on top of the bin. The next day it was gone.
Last edited by Random3 at Mar 23, 2011,
#32
Quote by Random3
The guy who lives next to me in my uni halls is a social retard and a dick to everyone (read: EVERYONE). He tries to give me shit about playing music too loud and my choice of food (crisps, chocolate, unhealthy s*t), when he literally, and I cannot stress this enough, eats food out of the bin. On multiple occasions we have 'caught' him eating mouldy bread, month old mince, so myself and another flatmate decided to release our man juice into two halves of a 3 month old lemoncake we were given, put the cake together and put it back in the plastic case. We put it on top of the bin. The next day it was gone.

You ejaculated into cake?
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#34
While watching another guy do the same thing?
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#36
Well cake can be better than vagina, so it must have been awesome. You should've taken pictures and put them at the bottom of the box.

#37
Quote by Random3
Yes.




****ing incredible.

I'm moving into a room share in September, so I'll be keeping a close eye on this thread.
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Nor did he fear the beast of fire... He feared...
THE AXEMAN!!





The Earth is covered in ash and our lungs have filled with worms...
#38
Quote by bklinger83
Basically, he would stick his finger down his girlfriend's sweaty, unwashed asscrack and then try to wipe it across my upper lip.




that's just wrong....
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#39
Quote by Grimriffer


that's just wrong....


To be fair, he would always get a little bit of warning, because the dude's girlfriend would squeal a little every time he tried it.
In the days of darkness men feared not the sword and the lance
Nor did he fear the beast of fire... He feared...
THE AXEMAN!!





The Earth is covered in ash and our lungs have filled with worms...
#40
i dont have a roommate yet, but my bro shares a room with me when he's in town from college, and he always gets back from wherever he goes at night around 2 am and then sits in his bed txting for another hour so every 2 minutes his phone goes "BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" so i end up only getting like 3 hours of sleep. i've started sleeping in a sleeping bag downstairs whenever he's in town.

Originally Posted by GbAdimDb5m7
this is the internet, it's not like someone can track me down and tell my mother that I have a sexual attraction torwards her.


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