the sight of her
pilfering pennies from a tobacco jar
with meth mouth desperation
worried about a ghost
if only someone told her
about the Tetons and ferris wheels
if only she would hear them...
I want Super Saiyan abilities
You're a really good writer, man, seriously. But you need to stop posting so many threads in such quick succession. I don't know if you've read the rules yet, but it says you're only allowed to post two pieces per six days -- You've posted three.

I'm closing this one, but don't stop posting. Although I barely actually critique you at all, I really enjoy reading you and want you to stick around, because you have great potential. I will try to create more free time to actually give you my exact thougths on your many, many worthwhile poems.