#1
She won't let me go
breathing slow
to keep her hands from shaking
holding a burnt sewing needle steady
over the hole in my chest
rotting away with the rest of my skin

It'll take more than a bullet to save me
heaving up and over my drying lungs
I catch every tear she has to offer
fusing together torn pieces of flesh
and I can't stop
asking her to stop and just let go

"You can't leave me here all alone"

and with that,
It's all in my head
and she isn't real
I'm choking on a handful of blood
by myself on the side of the street
just like I always knew I would
my insanity recedes and she's
leaving me here all alone
Last edited by greyeyedfire at Mar 26, 2011,
#3
Quote by rebelmidget
wow.


Agreed.

It is very deep and extremely visual.
It also has a good flow and is easy to read, so props on that.
I like the line "It'll take more than a bullet to save me..." It's clever.

I can see this going a few different ways with the music, what style/genre goes with it?


You should consider looking at mine if you have the time
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1425650
Last edited by Bandit Eagle at Mar 26, 2011,
#4
This is exceptional. I don't have much more to say than that. Everything is right where it should be, no more no less. It has incredible imagery for as short and simple as it is. Bravo!

Two Thumbs up, Four Stars, all that stuff.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."