#1
Yo guys, first lyrics in here in a while. Tell me what you think. It's about how the media creates stars out of nobodies and how they are train wrecks. Will crit for crit.

irrelevance is a requirement to sit upon the pedestal
a forced drama
a selfish relapse
to draw the eyes of the public domain -
iate the headlines
dominate the water cooler
YOUR ACTIONS DEFY COMMON SENSE
YOUR ACTIONS DEFINE COMMON SENSE
the idea of privacy
an afterthought by greed
the mantra of freedom
has tarnished sensibility

we created your existence
and we have designed your crash
as the tower burns
you will fall from the sky
never forget
what you owe to us
never forget
what you owe to us
never forget
what you owe to us

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

fade away as you're forgotten
fade away as you're forgotten
fade away as you're forgotten
fade away as you're forgotten


Thanks everyone.
#2
I like the theme, the message your getting across is given brilliantly, as well as being undeniably true. I also liked the imagery - "as the tower burns you will fall from the sky" that was good! Although, I'm not sure if I get how their actions "DEFINE COMMON SENSE" but that may just be the way everyday people perceive these stars and not specifically you.

Overall I don't think anything needs to be added or changed and definitely not the opening line which is perfect in my opinion, so good job.
#3
Thanks for all the praise. Truth be told, I came up with this in about ten minutes, with the first three lines being "written" yesterday and the rest coming together twenty minutes ago. Again, thanks.

And the DEFINE COMMON SENSE part refers to how we expect these people to perform these outlandish acts that they do. They set the precedent, and we expect it.

Again, thanks. I promise I'll crit yours soon.
#4
Nice work.
I'm so happy. I get to eat a muffin.
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#5
Excellent use of irony by using the media as the speaker, as well as the lines "YOUR ACTIONS DEFY COMMON SENSE/YOUR ACTIONS DEFINE COMMON SENSE." That was the most subtly awesome line in there, in my opinion.

I would say that the repetition in the last stanza could be more onomatopoetic, by having the lines themselves gradually shrink in length until eventually it just becomes one word - "fade." If the vocalist gets quieter while singing/speaking/screaming that line, it would enhance the effect tenfold.

Other than that, very good.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Nietzsche
#6
Thanks for all the praise guys, I'll get around to critiquing you later (and giving you, El Peppers, a better one).

And yes, that was the idea for the last lines, it gets quieter. It's hard to express how these lines are said without saying them, although the ALL CAPS are breakdowns.

Again, thanks.