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#1
So I got home from work tonight around eleven, walked into my house and saw that the garbage was full and figured I'd take the extra two seconds to take it out to my apartment's dumpsters.

Got to the dumpster, lifted the lid, tossed in the bag, and let go of the lid. Just as the lid closed, I heard a muffled barking sound. I paused, figured I was just tired and hearing things and walked away.

But then I stopped and thought, "maybe I'll just go back and double check." I walked back to the dumpster and kicked the side.

*ping*

*bark bark*

What?

"Who throws away a perfectly good puppy," I thought out loud. I lifted the lid again and saw it was near full with garbage.

"Puppy...Here puppy..."

*whistle*

Nothing.

I kicked the side again.

*ping*

*bark bark*

I climbed up the side, lifted the lid, and in an attempt to climb as gracefully as a person can into a dumpster I fell in head first.

"Dammit...Puppy..." I kicked the side again.

*ping*

*bark*

I began digging and calling out to it, using my zippo to see what I was doing and occasionally banging the side of the dumpster with a small piece of metal I found, making a god awful racket at such an hour.

I got down to the last layer of filth and called out again, "Puppy! Where are you?" and banged the dumpster.

*bark bark*

I saw the bag shift as the dog barked.

"It's okay little guy, I'll get you."

I tore into the bag like a man on a mission, who happened to be balls deep in refuse.

And lo and behold, in the flickering light of my zippo, were the lifeless eyes of stuffed toy.

*ping*

*bark bark*

"Motherf*cker."


TL/DR: If you're going to throw away something that makes baby/puppy/kitten noises, please remove the batteries.
Quote by SleightOfHand
****in right budday! grunge is the shiite!

didnt read ur post tho so dont know what im agreeing to.

Quote by horloko
Good. More centaur pussy for me.

Quote by myearshurt


God bless you GrungeBeatle


#3
Quote by sloppyjoe24
What kind of dog was it?


A fake one.
Quote by SleightOfHand
****in right budday! grunge is the shiite!

didnt read ur post tho so dont know what im agreeing to.

Quote by horloko
Good. More centaur pussy for me.

Quote by myearshurt


God bless you GrungeBeatle


#4
If I ever go homeless I'm going to use this method to attract small children and capture them and use them as slaves in my factory..
You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
#6
That was worth the read
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#8
TS got punk'd and doesn't want to admit it.
E-married to BlessedRebel15
Most Attractive Female 2011 ^^
Dark Black Rivers in the WinterTime
Quote by CrunchyRoll
I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but everything is against the rules at UG
#9
that's why I stay away from noble deeds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JAHellraiser
Go into Guitar Center and tell them you are willing to spend $3000 on as many Spider and MG half stacks as they can give you.
#12
Your heart was in the right place.


Edit:
Quote by King Donkey
The title reminded of that girl throwing puppies into the river.
This.
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
#14
That sucks haha.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#15
That was a better twist than M. Night Shama could ever hope to come up with.
Quote by Joshua Garcia
my chemical romance are a bunch of homos making love to a mic and you like that cuz your a huge gay wad. You should feel pathetic for being such a gaywad you gay mcr loving gaywad olllol.
#16
Greatest thing that I have read in days, (if not weeks) TS.

Quote by Butt Rayge
Pretty sure Jesus was decaffeinated.


I'm just a hedonist without happiness
#18
you got hard core trolled
Lets jump in a pool


_____________________________________________
Last edited by I am wet : Today at 03:26 XM.
#19
At least you were nice enough to look.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#20
Quote by captaincrunk
I was so sad, and then so full of mirth. Fun ride, TS. Thanks.

This.

Good work TS


Although now I've been reminded of the video of puppies being thrown into a river
RIP Gooze

cats
#22
Haha TS this is epic! Totally got me man
Quote by Just Andrew
I look froward to when porn comes to me.



Quote by BlackandSilver
I was expecting an epic thread about how TS used Icy Hot on his dick and thought it was on fire while on LSD, and then posted on UG about it. I am greatly, grealty dissapointed.
#23
Atleast you were doing the right thing, wouldn't be the first time someone did something as f**k'd as that.
#25
Quote by doomded
Greatest thing that I have read in days, (if not weeks) TS.



^ This, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many times.
Quote by Moggan13



FUCK YEAH GHERKIN PALS!!



Yeah, I use a Squier Strat.
#27
I guess that makes you a hypothetical hero. You know, the kind of hero we all are.
#28
Also,
Quote by GrungeBeatle
"Who throws away a perfectly good puppy,"

RIP Gooze

cats
#29
Quote by imdeth
Sounds like you had a rough night.

That's awful.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#30
I'm glad I took the time to read that, when is the book coming out and will there be a movie?
* If my punctuation seems off, it's because my shift button is broken *
#32
Quote by kbabz22
I'm glad I took the time to read that, when is the book coming out and will there be a movie?

I'm telling you, if TS makes this story slightly more creepy this is on an Edgar Allan Poe level.
#34
trolled by batteries

E-Father to itorch, Andrea55, guitarxo and BlessedRebel15
E-Grandpa to Basti95, davrockist, KitKat555, Mark Roxx, Renegade_Lobo
E-Bro to slash_GNR666
I blog...

Quote by Andrea55


#35
^
Quote by Moggan13



FUCK YEAH GHERKIN PALS!!



Yeah, I use a Squier Strat.
#36
Hahahahah...

Here





Great story man!
Quote by SleepTalkinMan
"Ooh! Straight-jackets online! Christmas sorted."
#40
Quote by GrungeBeatle

"Who throws away a perfectly good puppy," I thought out loud.

cat
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