Poll: ?
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After those words are uttered, there is no going back ever again.
30 12%
If the love is true, then there's always a way through times of uncertainty.
66 26%
I don't know, I always break up then and there because I can't stand uncertainty.
15 6%
I've never been in that situation.
95 37%
Dammit, now I feel like watching the Simpsons again.
48 19%
Voters: 254.
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#1
You guys remember that Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns hits Bart with his car and Homer tries to sue him for a million bucks, but when Marge is called to the stand she can't help tell the truth about Bart's condition, and says he was hardly hurt and admits that Dr. Nick is a quack?

I sure do, because I just watched it.

But this isn't about the trial or the ethical guagement of justice, this is about what happens afterwards: After Marge blows Homer's chance at a million bucks, he goes to Moe's. She follows him there and he tells her he's not sure if he still loves her. Of course, this being the Simpsons, everything turns out okay, and everyone leaves with a happy feeling.

So how about those times when this happens in reality? What about those times when you've been told that your partner is not sure he/she still loves you, or vice versa? Did they turn out okay in the end? Did things ever go back to normal? Did you break up then and there because you can't stand uncertainty like that?

Poll coming up shortly.

As for my own opinion, I pick option three. If somebody can't look me in the eyes and say that they love me, then in my book they don't.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Mar 29, 2011,
#3
My girlfriend told me this once. Hour or so later things were all good.

Make up sex ftw.

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#4
every time i've heard that it's meant it was over. whether immediately or eventually. oh well, lesson learned. now anytime i hear that or feel like saying that i know it's time to cut and run.
#DTWD
#6
Quote by Tom 1.0
My girlfriend told me this once. Hour or so later things were all good.

Make up sex ftw.


This exactly.
#7
Things always get tough in a relationship where two people care about one another. It's just a matter or whether or not they care enough about one another to work through it.

That's what pisses me off about all these kids that get into a spat and break up. Love is struggle, almost every step of the way sometimes - it's not a fairytale. But when you love someone, you don't mind the struggle at all because it gives you the opportunity to be with someone that matters to you for even a moment.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#8
happened one time with me.. but the poll is quite irrelevant for me as she is the one that broke up with me about 10 mins later.

it was just her way of trying to make it less painful.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
Last edited by the bartender at Mar 29, 2011,
#9
We broke up not long after she told me this. I hurt, but it was kind of a relief at the same time for both of us...
Jbab
Quote by '93
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#10
yeah.. we broke up for 3 days, got back together again, and then she dumped me 2 months later anyway..
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#13
Quote by Spartan101400
If she ever tells you that, leave her, leave her and let her regret saying that.



Someone's bitter...
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#14
Quote by strat0blaster
Things always get tough in a relationship where two people care about one another. It's just a matter or whether or not they care enough about one another to work through it.

That's what pisses me off about all these kids that get into a spat and break up. Love is struggle, almost every step of the way sometimes - it's not a fairytale. But when you love someone, you don't mind the struggle at all because it gives you the opportunity to be with someone that matters to you for even a moment.

The reason that younger people break up so easily is because they (well, rather, 'we') are inexperienced. We're still trying to find out exactly what it is we need in a relationship, and more often than not still have a lot of growing to do ourselves.

Breaking up during times when you can't take it any more is important, IMO, because it gives you space to take a step back, look at the relationship and see what it was you or your partner was doing wrong. It helps you grow as a person.

However: I believe that if somebody isn't sure that they love their partner, then they probably don't anymore. Maybe it's because the person started being lazy, stopped trying or whatever, but they definately do not the love what the other person has become. Can you fix that without breaking up, I dunno. You tell me.
#17
Quote by Spartan101400
I don't get into relationships because I haven't met a woman that understands me.

If you're looking for someone that understands you in the first hour of meeting you as criteria for the perfect woman, you're ridiculously naive.

There are people who've been together for years that don't even half understand one another. You shouldn't try to understand someone or have them understand you, but instead look for someone that's understanding of you and who you are, positive and negative.

EDITin -

Just realized that sounded pretty harsh - not meant to bag on you. Just observation from experience.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
Last edited by strat0blaster at Mar 29, 2011,
#18
I'm not sure I love UG any more. YLYL is closed, and The Pit seems rather bland. GG&A is a circle jerk of 3-4 older, richer members telling inside jokes. I don't spend all day in on UG, like I used to. I still come back to it every now and then when I'm really bored/really don't want to do the work that's due tomorrow, but I very quickly remember that it's no fun and not worth it.

I guess the same thing applies to relationships. If you don't feel the attraction any more, is it worth forcing it? Is it worth pretending and holding on to memories when it's not making either of you any happier?
Aw hell, what would I know.
#20
I've never been in that situation before. The few times when my ex-girlfriends have broken up with me it was for more valid reasons than that.
#21
I'd say the chances of things patching up after that are unfavourable. YMMV though.
#22
I haven't seen that episode in ages - remember the one were Bart sends a hate letter to Mr.Burns from Homer?
#23
It never turned out okay. Maybe it's because I usually say "Well, I guess that's that, then." whenever women start saying it.
#24
I came into this thread expecting you to be all sad about your girlfriend dumping you and leaving a suicide note then joining MJ. But I can only dream.
For me there was no way back. After my mother said it, I was adopted by racist satanists.
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#25
Can I change my poll vote? I voted for the last option, but then remembered that The Simpsons isn't funny anymore.
Every poster on here is a 6-foot Catholic schoolgirl with an 8-inch penis and riches beyond my wildest dreams.
#26
Nope, that's a death knell.
Quote by dudetheman
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Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#27
Quote by CoreysMonster
The reason that younger people break up so easily is because they (well, rather, 'we') are inexperienced. We're still trying to find out exactly what it is we need in a relationship, and more often than not still have a lot of growing to do ourselves.

1- Breaking up during times when you can't take it any more is important, IMO, because it gives you space to take a step back, look at the relationship and see what it was you or your partner was doing wrong. It helps you grow as a person.

However: 2- I believe that if somebody isn't sure that they love their partner, then they probably don't anymore. 3- Maybe it's because the person started being lazy, stopped trying or whatever, but they definately do not the love what the other person has become. Can you fix that without breaking up, I dunno. You tell me.

I'm going to number your points so I can respond clearly, so bear with me...

1 - Why would you break up with someone when you're angry? The absolute worst time to do anything is when you're so pissed you're not thinking straight. Whatever happened to taking a walk, leaving the room - going for a drive or leaving the house? Are people really so disenchanted with everything and having such little patience that we go right from upset to 'I'm leaving you' without giving it thought? Being that brash almost never does anything good for anyone involved in any situation.

2 - Ever been frustrated as a musician and feel like you just don't even want to play your instrument? Same thing. Just because you're unsure how you feel about something in an immediate moment doesn't mean you don't care for or value it, but as a person who's emotions and opinions can often change in the blink of an eye based on a multitude of stimuli, why would you judge someone else based on a moment of lapse or indecision? It's like saying "I hate Italian food as a whole and I wish it were gone from the face of the earth because I'm not sure if I want Fettuccine Alfredo right now.

And last but not least -

3 - People don't change. People grow and learn, gain experience and opinion, but the base person is always the same, and it's only a matter of how much reign of control they've got over themselves. The obvious exception here is if your significant other was lying entirely and acting to be someone they ended up not being, but to change who a person is entirely is an exceptionally tricky and almost impossible thing to do, and it doesn't just 'happen.' They've either been lying blatantly to you, or you've been lying to yourself.

If any of that sounded 'heated' or felt like an attack, apologies. It's not always easy to convey meaning or tone with text
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#28
Never been in a situation like that, but I can imagine what I would do. If it's something shouted in an argument or a heat-of-the-moment thing, then later ask for forgiveness, I could probably accept it. But if they looked me in the eye and said it seriously, I'd have to end it. No point in trying to continue something that will most likely fail if they're seriously questioning their feelings towards you.
#29
Quote by strat0blaster
I'm going to number your points so I can respond clearly, so bear with me...

1 - Why would you break up with someone when you're angry? The absolute worst time to do anything is when you're so pissed you're not thinking straight. Whatever happened to taking a walk, leaving the room - going for a drive or leaving the house? Are people really so disenchanted with everything and having such little patience that we go right from upset to 'I'm leaving you' without giving it thought? Being that brash almost never does anything good for anyone involved in any situation.

2 - Ever been frustrated as a musician and feel like you just don't even want to play your instrument? Same thing. Just because you're unsure how you feel about something in an immediate moment doesn't mean you don't care for or value it, but as a person who's emotions and opinions can often change in the blink of an eye based on a multitude of stimuli, why would you judge someone else based on a moment of lapse or indecision? It's like saying "I hate Italian food as a whole and I wish it were gone from the face of the earth because I'm not sure if I want Fettuccine Alfredo right now.

And last but not least -

3 - People don't change. People grow and learn, gain experience and opinion, but the base person is always the same, and it's only a matter of how much reign of control they've got over themselves. The obvious exception here is if your significant other was lying entirely and acting to be someone they ended up not being, but to change who a person is entirely is an exceptionally tricky and almost impossible thing to do, and it doesn't just 'happen.' They've either been lying blatantly to you, or you've been lying to yourself.

If any of that sounded 'heated' or felt like an attack, apologies. It's not always easy to convey meaning or tone with text

1. I didn't mean when you're angry or upset, I meant the way you feel when you can't stand being in a relationship anymore. You don't have to be mad or angry to feel like shit in a relationship, and sometimes you have to be alone for a while to realise things about yourself and your loved one. I know I do, at least.

2. I dunno about your experiences, but in mine (and not just my own relationships, but those of others, too), when people say they aren't sure if they still love you, it means that they don't, at least not the way that they used to.
They might've lost respect for you, they might have found somebody else that they are more attracted to, or maybe you just moved apart, but when the uncertainty is so great that somebody is not even capable of saying that they still love you, then something has died in a relationship. I mean, especially if people tell you that less than a year after getting together, I honestly don't think there's much worth saving there.

3. You have a point there, but I still think that there are many things that can happen in a person's life that can change the way they act or think in such a way that it seems as though they're different, both for better and for worse.
#30
Quote by CoreysMonster
1. I didn't mean when you're angry or upset, I meant the way you feel when you can't stand being in a relationship anymore. You don't have to be mad or angry to feel like shit in a relationship, and sometimes you have to be alone for a while to realise things about yourself and your loved one. I know I do, at least.

2. I dunno about your experiences, but in mine (and not just my own relationships, but those of others, too), when people say they aren't sure if they still love you, it means that they don't, at least not the way that they used to.
They might've lost respect for you, they might have found somebody else that they are more attracted to, or maybe you just moved apart, but when the uncertainty is so great that somebody is not even capable of saying that they still love you, then something has died in a relationship. I mean, especially if people tell you that less than a year after getting together, I honestly don't think there's much worth saving there.

3. You have a point there, but I still think that there are many things that can happen in a person's life that can change the way they act or think in such a way that it seems as though they're different, both for better and for worse.

Ah my bad - misunderstood the first point as anger - I agree with you there, then.

And you make a good point. It's so damned rare to find someone on UG who can do that

I guess it depends on the individuals and their circumstances in the end - what might be one thing for me could be another for you and the person beside you. I hear you on 3, and as a person who's changed behavior and such over the years I can agree with how others 'can' perceive it, but at the core, you're still the same person. To me, putting someone out because they've changed behavior or mannerisms, maybe some beliefs, is like saying that you don't want to be around them because they don't wear the type of clothes they used to.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
Last edited by strat0blaster at Mar 29, 2011,
#31
Where is purple spunky hippo??
E-married to ilikepirates

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#32
I don't love you no moar, Ryan, you don't call or answer my texts and I'm tired of going to sleep at night hugging this stupid carboard cutout of an Andalite with a picture of your head pasted on the face.
#34
Quote by CoreysMonster
Of course, this being the Simpsons, everything turns out okay, and everyone leaves with a happy feeling.


Remember that time that Maude Flanders got hit by a t-shirt gun and died and then remained dead?
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#35
Never had that happen, hope it never does. That would kill me. If you love someone, you know it. If you think you don't know, you don't love them. Suppose they can fall back in love, but if it gets to the they'll say that, it's probably too late. Other person would likely be too hurt by such a comment. But then again everyone and every relationship is different.

The above based on no experience, just imagination. >.>
#37
Quote by Mudmen190
I'm not sure I've been loved.


i do
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#38
when someone says that in a relationship, it generally means there is someone else that they want to fuck or they have already been fucking someone else.
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#39
This is why love is fake. You can't just fall out of love, love is supposed to be a magical thing between two people.

Love is an all or nothing thing. If someone stops "loving" you just because of something you did. then they don't really "love" you.
#40
it's such a dangerous thing to say. I think people may use it too lightly. I think it changes everything for the time being... it could maybe be fixed over a HUGE period of time but IMO it would be so anxiety-inducing to stay with someone after they say they may not love you. get back together later? sure. but I couldn't handle it without that space.
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