#1
Reflect patience and worry off these marble floors,
cast and recast among the collective murmur
that has filled this hall and the one after it slowly and carefully.

There is peace in observing monoliths at rest
through the glass that holds the caffeine-riddled tension in,
set against daydreams of sleep and closure.

“Almost,” like a mantra but this misses the intrinsic beauty
of neither here nor there;
the closest one could get to nonexistence without a beard and several jars of piss.

It’s best to just sit and enjoy the feeling
of limbo
for limbo’s sake.
Last.fm


"Art is always and everywhere the secret confession, and at the same time the immortal movement of its time."


#2
I think this piece could actually do without the first three stanzas and remain a standalone three line piece. the last three lines are so thought provoking that they would stand well on their own, especially with the excellent title choice as it is. just a suggestion.

other than that- well done, this sings appropriately. but as I said, I think it would carry so much power if it was merely the final stanza. give it a thought
#4
^I humbly disagree. I think those lines wouldn't hold as much weight without a proper setup. That being said, I think you can do with a few more line breaks. I notice that all the stanzas have three lines, but some of those lines are simply too long, in my opinion. Still, as far as writing goes, your word choice is top-notch, and the last stanza is arranged perfectly. Very nice.

EDIT: I got ninja'd, I meant to disagree with Sticky