Alrighty, I just have couple of questions...

First, what is the difference between a bridge pickup and a neck pickup? can I put a bridge pickup in the neck postion and will it sound like a bridge pickup? what gives a bridge pickups its trebly "crunch"?

2nd, is there anywhere I can get a 7-way toggle switch for my LP? 7-way..not 5... 7.
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But theres no reason why i cant be free like a raspberry stuck to the back of a horny elephants ass.

This is maybe the worst comparison in the history of comparisons.
Bridge pickups capture less magnetic signal and are therefore higher output. There is more sound output by the strings on the center point of the strings whcih means makes the neck area louder.

Long Story short putting a bridge pickup on the neck can give you too much output. I have done that, with low output bridge pickups and its fine.

To high a signal can turn muddy with ease.